Time To Face The Past
by lucas4brooke4ever
Summary: It's time to come home after 4 long years but how have people changed? Is it time to stop running from the one that you love and come clean or are any feelings simply better off buried! BL
1. Coming Home

Brooke sat alone in her office, designs scattered all over her desk

"You wanted to see me" Christina asked as she stood at the door with numerous bit of paper in her hand. She stood awkwardly awaiting Brooke's reply

"Yes I need you to get me next weeks schedule"

"Anything else" Christina asked nervously, she had been working for her for 2 years and yet she still got nervous whenever she entered her office, there was something so intimidating about her, she was terrified of screwing up, she had tried to get closer to her by taking her out but Brooke had just closed up on her, she asked her about high school, crushes and first loves and the only answers she received was 'Can we talk about something else' or ' I'd rather not talk about it' or her personal favourite, 'I don't have time for this'

"No that will be all" Brooke said as she focused back on her designs, Christina was hardworking and very intelligent, she was more than qualified for the job, she had been working for her for the last two years, but she hardly knew a thing about her, the same could be said for Christina though about her, she had made a point of keeping her personal life separate and although she trusted Christina she liked the image and reputation she had built up. The fashion industry was cut throat enough as it was, she wasn't going to give anyone any ammunition on her, then again there really wasn't much to tell, sure she had accomplished a lot in her professional life but in her private life things had not been so great, in fact she had been so focused on her work that she didn't really have time to socialise. It was a choice she made and it had paid off so far, why change now.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas placed down his suitcase by the couch, it was good to be home, with the money he had made from his book he had managed to buy his own place back in Tree Hill which meant he could be nearer to his family and it was perfect for work. When they had first approached him about the Raven's coaching job he had been rather sceptical, he was so young, sure he had been Whitey's assistant but was he really ready to take on a whole team by himself, that was a big challenge, one that he wasn't sure he was prepared for . After talking to Whitey though he was soon convinced, if it didn't work out then he always had his writing to fall back on and what was the point in life if you didn't take any risks, that was part of the excitement surely, so now here he was, back home again, back where it all started, back in Tree Hill.

The apartment was spacious, it had two bedrooms but the guestroom was currently filled with boxes, he still hadn't got round to unpacking everything, he had had the apartment for a month now but he hadn't spent much time there. Work had been so hectic he had book signings all over the state that had been arranged for him so by the time he got home all he wanted to do was sleep and eat and then he was on the move again. He had hardly seen his mom or Lily, but that was number one on his to do list, it was hard to tell if it was he who had been putting off seeing them or if they were avoiding him, either way it had to end.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"I have next week's schedule" Christina said as she stood in the doorway clutching the piece of paper

Brooke didn't look up, she merely stretched out her arm signalling for Christina to hand her the schedule

Christina shuffled forward and quickly placed the schedule in Brooke's open hand

Brooke placed the piece of paper on her desk and closely eyed the schedule, particularly eyeing the dates which didn't go unnoticed by Christina

"Is something wrong?" Christina asked nervously

"I need you to do something for me" Brooke said still not looking up, her eyes were still firmly placed on the date shown under week commencing

Christina nodded

"I need you to clear all next week's appointments" Brooke said calmly

"All of them? Christina asked rather shocked

Brooke nodded

"When should I rearrange them for?" Christina asked as she scribbled down notes on her pad

"Tell them I will be in contact shortly to reschedule" Brooke replied

"Miss Davis can I ask why?" Christina asked as she was exiting, usually it was policy not to question orders, but something inside her just made her curious and she couldn't help but ask.

"I'm thinking about taking some time off and going on a little trip" Brooke answered

"Anywhere nice?" Christina asked knowing she was in danger of crossing the line, Brooke Davis didn't like to talk about life outside work, she was a very private person when it came to her personal life, she had found that out very quickly when she first started working for her

"Actually yeah, I'm going back home" Brooke said still looking down at her desk

"Is there anything else I can do?" Christina asked before leaving

"Yeah you can get me a flight" Brooke said

"Where to?"

"Tree Hill" Brooke said a smile onto her face as she looked up at Christina, she hadn't been back in 4 years but it was time to go back. Home was calling

* * *

**So what did you think? Should I continue? Please review x x x**


	2. Lonely World

Brooke picked up the phone and began to dial a number she had become pretty familiar with dialling

"Haley speaking"

"_Tutormom"_ Brooke said happily, she didn't know why she still called her that, it had just stuck and seemed so natural that she hadn't been able to stop.

"Brooke I wasn't expecting to hear from you today" Haley replied rather surprised

"_No I had a favour to ask"_ Brooke said getting to the point

"I should have known" Haley joked

"_Hey you know how much I love talking to you Hales plus I have to hear how my godchild is getting on now don't I"_ Brooke said feeling rather bad, she wished she had been to visit them sooner but she just hadn't been ready to go back, there were too many memories

"I know….now what's this favour then?" Haley asked

"_Well I'm thinking about coming home for a bit"_ Brooke answered hoping that Haley would be pleased

"Brooke that's great, when are you coming? Haley said excitedly, sure she had spoken to Brooke on the phone a lot but she had not seen her in the flesh in 4 years, she missed her friend but she couldn't just turn around and demand that she came back, she knew how hard it had been to move on and she didn't want to be responsible for dragging her back into the past.

"_Tomorrow" _

"Wow that soon, it's going to be so great to see you, James will be so excited, he wants to thank you for all the presents you have sent him" Haley said rather taken aback by how soon Brooke was coming, she had been away for 4 years and now suddenly she calls out of the blue saying she is coming back tomorrow, what had changed?

"_Aw and how is the little cutie__?" _Brooke asked as she looked at the picture of her godson that sat on her desk, it was the only personal thing she had in her office but it was a constant reminder of what she left behind and probably one of the biggest reasons why she was going back, they had chosen her to be Jame's godmother and sure she had been sending gifts regularly but she wanted to play a bigger part in his life.

"He's good, but he's driving me crazy, he's going through this stage where he thinks throwing his toys at you is a fun" Haley laughed

"_I can't wait to see him, he's grown so much since I last saw him, if it wasn't for the pictures you sent me then I wouldn't even recognise him" _

"So how long are you staying for?" Haley said getting back on topic

"_I don't know but I was wondering if I could stay with you, I won't be any bother"_

"I guess we could squeeze you in" Haley said although she wasn't exactly sure where she was going to find room for her

"_Thank you so much and is there any chance of getting a lift from the airport"_Brooke asked hopefully, she really didn't want to get a cab and it would be nice to have a familiar face waiting for her.

"Yeah I'll get Nathan to pick you up, just give me the details"

Brooke rattled off the details about her flight and what time it should land, she was so excited to go home but at the same time it was rather daunting, she had not been back in 4 years, she couldn't help but wonder how it had changed, how the people had changed, whether she would fit in anymore, it wasn't like she was moving back there but it was still going to be rather bizarre

Brooke placed the phone back down after saying goodbye, she missed Haley, she missed Nathan and baby James, she missed Peyton and she missed Lucas. She had only really kept in touch with Haley, maybe she should have made more of an effort with the others but it was just too hard, having a clean break was exactly what she needed, away from the past, a fresh challenge. When she moved to New York no one really knew her, she had the chance to be whoever she wanted to be, the reputation she had had in high school was gone, it was her fresh start and she had been determined to make the most of it

Brooke's head shot up as she heard the knock at the door

"I didn't know if you were busy, I can come back later if you want" Christina said as she stood awkwardly at the door

"No it's ok come in" Brooke said as she waved her in

"I've cleared your schedule for next week although Mr McLelland wasn't best pleased"

"Oh don't worry about him, he'll be fine" Brooke replied, he had a habit of being difficult when things didn't go his way but she knew how to handle him

"I did get the right flight didn't I?" Christina asked noticing how distant Brooke was being

"Yeah" Brooke replied but no longer really paying attention to her assistant anymore

"Miss Davis are you ok?" Christina asked

"Yeah I just have a lot on my mind" Brooke replied, the last thing she wanted was to have to fill in her assistant all about her past, it was her business and that was how it was going to stay

"I'll just leave you to it then" Christina said taking the hint

"Christina" Brooke called as she watched the brunette turn to leave

"Yes Miss Davis" Christina said turning quickly to face her

"Call me Brooke" Brooke said and watched a smile emerge on the girl's face.

………………………………………………………………………

"Hey Mom it's me…..I guess you aren't in but I just thought I would let you know that I'm back……..I was thinking of stopping by some time tomorrow to see you and Lily…..anyway, I love you both…talk to you later..bye" Lucas said as once again the answer machine had cut in

He opened the fridge to see what he could manage to scrape together to eat, he was starving, he hadn't managed to find to grab something to eat earlier and his stomach was making its feelings quite clear about that with the constant rumbling.

He glanced around his fridge, the milk was out of date, there were a couple of beers were sitting on the top shelf, other than that it was pretty useless. He slammed the door shut.

"Pizza it is" he muttered as she walked over to the phone, now that he was back for good he was really going to need to get out of this routine, eating pizza every night could not be good for him, at first it wasn't too bad but now it was getting to the point where he was sick of seeing pizza let alone eating it, but what could he do, he had to eat, but had no food, he was definitely going to need to do some serious shopping tomorrow. A great homecoming this was, no 'I'm so pleased you're home', no 'I really missed you', no food on the fridge, just an empty apartment, success certainly hadn't brought happiness so far.

**

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think x x x**


	3. Back Where It All Started

Brooke boarded her flight, she was so close to turning back but this was something she had to do, even if it was to get some sense of closure, she just had to go back. She squeezed her way past numerous other passengers to get to get seat, the scary part of going back was that she didn't know what to expect, would people be as happy to see her as Haley, would they understand why she didn't keep in touch? So many questions and she had the whole of her flight to think about it.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Luca knocked on his mother's door, the house he used to live in, the place he once called home

"Coming" Karen called as she made her way to the door

Lucas waited anxiously on the doorstep as the door flung open

"Lucas" Karen stood and stared at her son

"Hey mom" he said nervously " I left a message on the machine but I guess you didn't…"

"I got it" Karen interrupted

"Are you going to invite me in?" Lucas asked

Karen stepped aside leaving enough room for him to enter

"Why didn't you use your key?" She asked as she shut the door

"I didn't know whether I should use it" Lucas paused, he knew she had been avoiding him but he hadn't expected such a frosty reception, "Mom" Lucas began

"Lucas" Lily cheered as she ran in to the room and hugged Lucas's leg as tight as she could

"Hey beautiful, you've grown so much" Lucas said he crouched down to so he was on her level

"I'm a big girl now" Lily said proudly

"I know you are"

"I missed you" she said sadly

"Aw I missed you too little sis" Lucas said as he looked into beautiful brown eyes

"Do you wanna come play wit me?" Lily asked happily

"Why don't you go and play while I have a talk with mom and then I'll be along in a bit"

"Ok" Lily said as she skipped off back to her room

"What were you thinking?" Karen asked as soon as her daughter was out of earshot

"You've lost me" Lucas said as he turned to face his mother, he couldn't understand was she was being like she, she was so hostile it was actually beginning to scare him, he hadn't seen her like this in a long time

"The book Lucas, what else could I be talking about" Karen said raising her voice

"Mom I can't help how I feel" Lucas replied suddenly catching on to what this was all about

"Was it really necessary Lucas, did you think about how dragging up the past might affect everyone? Did you think of anyone other than yourself?" Karen asked angrily, she loved her son but she couldn't for the life of her understand why he made some of the decisions he had over the last few years

"It's how I feel" Lucas shrugged, he couldn't help how he felt, it was something he just could not control

"Well that's just great, what about me, what about Peyton, and Brooke, did you even think of us"

"Mom everything in that book is the truth, that's why I realised I had to come home, I guess before I just wasn't being honest with myself and the book just made me make sense of everything and see things clearly"

"How did you think it would make me feel though having to read about Keith's death all over again, do you know how hard it was having to read how hurt you were when I didn't believe you about Dan, you made me feel like a terrible mother, god knows what other people think of me"

"Mom no one is going to think you are a terrible mother" Lucas said reassuringly

"Have you spoken to Peyton?" Karen asked ignoring his comment

Lucas shook his head

"Do you not think you owed her a phone call or something, I mean surely anything was better than this"

He didn't answer, he knew she was right so there was nothing he could really say to defend himself, sometimes it was better to just not say anything

"I thought I raised you better than this, did you think how she is going to feel reading the book?" Lucas again didn't answer so she continued

"To read that someone who she loved was never really in love with her and then worse, that there was someone else" Karen said bitterly, she couldn't believe this was happening all over again, her son sure knew how to break hearts and she was tired of watching the destruction he caused

"Look I know I should have spoken to her but she might not have even read it" he tried reasoning although he knew it was no use, if his mother was one thing it was stubborn, and there was no chance of her backing down

"Luke I think that someone she knows is bound to have read it and pointed it out to her, how could you break that girls heart like that, I mean honestly Lucas think how humiliated she must feel, I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I am with you"

Lucas paused but then soon found his voice again, "So would you rather have me lie, not just to myself but to her and everyone around me, would you have preferred that I just carry on and act as if I am happy when I'm not"

"That's not what I meant, I just think you could have handled it better"

"I know I guess I should try and talk to Peyton" he admitted hoping that would be enough for his mother and would lay off

"I think that's for the best" Karen said glad she had had some effect on him even if it was only minor.

"I guess so" he said quietly

"Have you thought about Brooke?" Karen began again

"Did you not the read the book mom" Lucas said not understanding how she could even ask that having read it, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, wondering if its too late, wondering if she thinks about me too or if I really blew it 4 years ago, if I ruined by only shot at happiness"

"Lucas that's not what I meant, what I was trying to say was have you thought about her reaction to the book?"

"Of course I have, I haven't done anything else. I don't even know if she has read it or how she feels and that is killing me. I mean what if she has read it and doesn't feel the same way, what if she doesn't want to see me ever again because of it"

"Then why did you write it?" Karen asked

"I had to take the risk, I had an opportunity to be completely honest with myself and others, I know it is a big risk but if it pays off then it will certainly have been worth it", he didn't risk everything then he wished risked losing even more

"And what if it doesn't?" Karen asked

"Then at least I know I tried"

"Did you think about what you have done to their friendship?"

"Who's?"

"Brooke and Peyton's"

"I don't even know if they are still in touch, I haven't heard from either of them, I mean I know Hales talks to Brooke but she doesn't really talk about it, maybe it just makes her feel awkward I don't know…….." He answered truthfully

"Those two girls have been to hell and back with each other, do you really want to be responsible for destroying their friendship or what's left of it anyway"

"I think it's a little late for regrets mom, the book is in stores all over the country, I guess we will just have to wait and see"

"Luke are you coming to play" Lily said peeking her head round the corner of the door

"Sure" Lucas said as he followed his little sister to her room

"Why are you sad?" Lily asked

"I'm not sad" he said trying his best to smile

"Yes you are, you not smiling"

"That doesn't mean I'm sad"

"Then what are you" Lily asked rather confused

"I'm just thinking that's all"

"So that's your tinking face den"

"Yeah I guess it is"

"You don't want to play dollies do you" Lily said sadly

"No it's not that, I love spending time with you, I just have a lot on my mind"

"I'm sorry" Lily said as she put down a doll

"Oh Lily it's not you, I'll tell you what, why don't I be this one" Lucas said picking up a brunette haired doll

"She's a princess" Lily said cheerfully

"Is she now?" Lucas asked playing along

"Yeah she is the most important one"

"Then maybe you should have her" Lucas said holding the doll out to her

"No I want you to have her, I have loads more, do you wanna see?"

"Sure why not"

Lily then proceeded to get out all of her dolls and give details about each and every one of them

"Wow that is a lot of dolls, do you really need so many?"

"Yeah" Lily answered shyly

Lucas's attention was then drawn to the buzzing come from his pocket

"I'll be right back I just have to take this ok"

Lily nodded and continued to play, not really bothered about the little interruption

"Hey" Lucas answered as he flipped his cell open

"Hey Luke" Haley replied

"So you heard I was back then?" Lucas asked happily glad at least one person was glad he was back

"yeah and I needed to ask you something" she replied hoping Lucas would be able to help her out.

Brooke picked up her luggage and made her way through the crowds of people in search of Nathan or Haley, she couldn't get rid of this nervous feeling she had, back where it all started, unsure of what she was going to find. She then stopped, convinced she was seeing things

It couldn't be him could it?

"Lucas"

* * *

**Please review x x x**


	4. Breath Of Fresh Air

**Figured I would make this chapter a bit longer, anyway I hope you enjoy**

* * *

"Haley sent me, Nathan wasn't feeling too good and she had her hands full with James" Lucas explained, she was stunning, he didn't think it was possible for her to be more beautiful that she was when he last saw her but now he knew it was definitely possible. Her hair framed her face so beautifully, her hair was in loose curls and hung to just below her shoulders. She was the picture of perfection, for someone who had just stepped off a plane she looked amazing. On the outside she didn't seem to have changed, sure her hairstyle had changed but other than she seemed to be the same Brooke, she was wearing a pair of skinny jeans highlighting her petite frame, and was wearing a suede jacket, she still had great taste when it came to fashion, that was evident.

"I could have got a cab" Brooke said as she stood a matter of feet away from him, she looked him up and down taking every single little detail, his hair was short, she could tell he had shaved it recently, she always liked it short, she had told him before but he was insistent that he wanted to grow it a bit more. She examined his clothes, working in the fashion industry it was more of habit, she just did it instinctively, he looked good, not as good as he looked when they were dating but he was still looking pretty fine, it seemed he wasn't hopeless after all when it came to fashion.

"It's not a problem really, here let me take that" he said as he reached for her suitcase, Brooke held it out to him and felt him lightly brush her hand as she passed it to him. She quickly removed her hand, it felt so weird and yet so good to feel him, to touch him, but that was the past and she wasn't willing to let it get to her, she had moved on and he probably had too.

"Thanks" she said quietly as she looked back into his eyes

"You look good" he stated although not shifting his gaze, his eyes still firmly on her

"Thanks so do you" quickly looking at the floor, she glanced at her hand and saw she was shaking, it was only a little so wasn't really noticeable but she could still feel it, all the nerves bottled up where starting to come into play, when his eyes had been on her she couldn't help but feel vulnerable, it was like when he looked into her eyes, he saw right through her, he saw past the confident façade she put on and he saw the real her. She had been on the end of looks from him very similar to the one he had just given her and she couldn't help but feel scared, maybe she should have stayed in New York after all, maybe it was still too soon, maybe they could never be just friends, maybe it was just too hard.

"Brooke" Brooke spun around to see who had called her name

"Lucas" his eyes were now firmly on the woman standing in front of them

"Peyton what are you doing here?" Brooke said stunned to see her former best-friend standing a matter of feet in front of her

"My flight was delayed so I just got in" Peyton replied uneasily trying to make sense of the scene in front of her

"You look amazing, I love what you have done with your hair" Brooke said noticing that the formerly curled hair was now straight, she had put on some weight but she was still skinny, she had always been that way, she could eat and eat and it seemed like that girl would never put on the weight, she had tried to understand it but it just seemed to be one of those things.

"Thanks" Peyton said shifting uneasily

"Do you want a lift, I'm giving Brooke one so….." Lucas chirped in rather unsure of what he was meant to do, two ex girlfriends this close to one another was not a situation he wanted to be in or that he was prepared for, certainly not this soon anyway, and from the looks of things Peyton didn't want to be in this situation anymore than he did.

"No it's ok my dad is waiting for me" Peyton replied coldly

"We should catch up some time" Brooke said optimistically, surprised at how Peyton was being, she didn't know what she had expected but she had thought that her former best friend would have been pleased to see her but it was seriously hard to tell, she had expected a hug or something, but maybe that was too much, 4 years was a long time after all, maybe their friendship couldn't just pick up where they left off

"Yeah I'll call ya" Peyton said rather dismissively as she headed off through the crowds

"That was weird" Brooke said as she watched her disappear into the crowds of people

"Yeah I know, I mean what are the chances of seeing her here"Lucas said not really believing their luck

"No I mean did you not think she was acting weird?" Brooke asked, surely he picked up on the weird vibe Peyton was giving off, it wasn't just her Peyton seemed to have blown off, did that mean that Lucas and Peyton weren't together? It wasn't the type of question she could just ask, she had been home 5 minutes and hadn't seen these people in 4 years, she couldn't just turn around and ask something like that, it wasn't her place, not anymore anyway.

"No not really" Lucas shrugged, although the truth was he had picked up on it too and the thing was that he had a pretty good idea of what was wrong with her but it seemed like Brooke had no idea, maybe she hadn't read his book after all. He prayed to God that she hadn't, but then on some level maybe it would just be easier if she had, then she would know the truth and they might be able to get somewhere.

"She seemed so cold like she couldn't wait to get away" Brooke said sadly, her and Peyton had been friends through the whole of high school if she excluded the few arguments they had had over a certain boy, who was now standing right in front of her. Maybe she was to blame for the distance that now seemed to be between them now but she had hoped to see some glimmer of hope in Peyton that they could get back to how they once were one day but they Peyton she had seen a few minutes ago was the not the same one as she had seen when she left her in LA, she seemed darker somehow, she seemed cold and bitter but most of all she couldn't help but think she looked hurt and the worst thing was that she didn't even know why, they used to share everything, and now it was like they were strangers.

"Yeah, have you two had a fight or something?" Lucas asked wanted to deflect the attention away from himself, he didn't want Brooke to start questioning him about Peyton and why she was acting so strangely, Brooke seemed to have no idea and for now that's how he wanted it to stay.

"No I haven't spoken to her in over 3 years, and anyway that wouldn't explain why she was so cold to you" Brooke replied not being able to shake this strange feeling she had, none of it made sense, it was one thing for Peyton to act weird with her but with Lucas was a whole different issue, they had been so happy together, they seemed to really love each other, how could she be so cold to someone who she loved?

"I guess not" Lucas said quietly wishing they could talk about something else, anything would be better than this, he hated lying to Brooke but what could he do, turn around and day the reason why Peyton was so cold and angry was because he technically broke up with her in a book and declared his feelings for another girl, and not just any girl, her best friend

"Why don't we get going rather than standing around here speculating" He suggested, he was feeling guilty enough as it was and the guilt seemed to be getting worse and worse and was slowly eating away at him, he couldn't take it back now, it was too late

_Flashback_

"_Mom I'm sorry but I have to go" Lucas said as he walked into the kitchen, Haley had called wanting him to pick Brooke up, he wasn't sure if his sister in law was lying and playing matchmaker of if she was genuine and Nathan really was sick._

"_But what about Lily? I thought you were meant to be spending time with her" Karen said rather disappointed, although she had been angry with her son she knew how much Lily loved him and missed him, her face would light up at the mere mention of his name. She didn't understand what had been going on and that was probably for the best, she was so pure and innocent and she was determined to have it stay that way for as long as it could._

"_Yeah I know and I'm sorry but I really have to go" Lucas said hoping that she would understand, he looked at his mother's face for some sort of indication of what she was thinking and feeling but she wasn't giving anything away, she was just staring at him, she didn't seem angry, but she definitely was not happy, that's one thine he knew for sure. Over the years he had got used to certain looks his mother gave him but this one he really did not know, it was if she was close to giving up on him, he knew he had disappointed her and he was sorry for that but he couldn't go back and change the past._

"_Are you going to at least tell me why" It was one thing to let her down, but she knew how disappointed Lily would be and she hated seeing her upset, she couldn't help but frown when she saw how hurt he was looking, she hadn't meant to upset him but he needed to hear some home truths and as his mother it was something she had to do, no one else was going to._

"_I have to pick up Brooke from the airport, Hales just asked me" _

"_Wait…Brooke is coming back today?" Karen asked rather shocked, she could see the fear in he son and she wished she could take that fear away but this was just something he was going to have to handle by himself. She knew how much he cared for Brooke, he had made his feelings quite clear in his book when it came to her but now coming face to face with her, she couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking._

"_Yeah like in an hour" Lucas answered shortly, in a way he just wanted to leave and go now, he had no idea what to do with himself, he wished he had more time to prepare but in all honestly nothing would have been able to prepare him for what he was doing in an hour's time. He stared at the ceiling avoiding his mothers eyes_

"_Have you thought about what you are going to say to her" Karen asked sympathetically, she didn't understand some of Lucas's decisions, she didn't agree with some of them but he was still her son and she just wanted him to be happy, that's all she could ever ask for_

"_Mom I only just found out she was coming back a few minutes ago ok, I am finding it rather hard to process myself" he said looking back at her, he wasn't upset, he was scared, he was confused he was lost. This would all have been so much easier if he didn't know she was coming back, if only Haley had never rung him, then he could have just carried on blissfully unaware. He lent his head against the doorway as she waited for his mother to answer_

"_Yeah I'm sorry, well you should go" Karen said standing up to face him, she didn't want to be responsible for him being late, she knew how much this meant to him and how nervous he was, she certainly didn't need to add to his worries_

"_What about Lily?" he asked a look of confusion now appearing on his face, he was surprised at how supportive his mom was now being, one minute she is yelling at him telling him how disappointed she is in him an now she is just letting him go, it was hard to know what to make of it all_

"_Don't worry about that she'll be fine, now go, you'll be fine" Karen reassured him resting her hand on his shoulder knowing how important Brooke was to him, she couldn't stand in his way, he had to follow his heart_

_End of Flashback_

"So how is life then?" Lucas asked as he looked over at Brooke who was staring out of the window

"It's good….its really good" Brooke said turning to face him, she wasn't sure what to say to him, they hadn't seen each other in 4 years, there was so much he didn't know about her and vice versa, what was she meant to say to him

"I am so proud of you I told you you were going to change the world" Lucas smiled proudly, he always knew she was going to go far in life, she had this get up and go attitude, once she set her mind to something there was no stopping her, she was so driven and was talented, it was no wonder that she had been successful

"Yeah I wouldn't go that far but yeah things are pretty good, and what about you Mr hot shot writer?" Brooke laughed, she didn't really want to talk about her so much, she wasn't the only one who had had her fair share of success

"I guess I have done pretty well for myself, so I take it you have read it then?" Lucas asked knowing that this was the moment of truth, she certainly didn't seem to have read it, surely she would have said something by now, she wouldn't just leave him hanging like this would she? Actually thinking about it he knew she probably would, he would never understand the mind of Brooke Davis, that was probably one of things that attracted him the most about her, there was this air of mystery about her, she was unpredictable and knew just how to put a smile on his face, she didn't even have to try half of the time, it just happened. She was amazing, that was the only way he could describe her and he couldn't believe he had let her go, not once, but twice.

"Actually no" Brooke said sheepishly looking away from him hoping that he would not be mad

"You haven't" He said rather surprised and relieved but he didn't want to let on how relieved he was. A small smile crept on his face

"I meant to but I just haven't got round to getting it yet" Brooke said turning back to face him and was rather surprised to see him smiling. She loved the way he smiled, she had forgotten what it looked like until now, but now she saw it she couldn't help but think back to when they were together and the times she had seen him smile and laugh, she wished she could have taken a picture every time he smiled, just thinking back she found herself begin to smile. She knew it was in the past, but it was so hard to just stop thinking, she couldn't stop her mind from going back to the past, the memories were always going to be there, it was something she couldn't erase and most importantly to was something she didn't want to erase, although they weren't together for long there had been so many good times, so many moments that she would forever treasure and keep in her hear. She had given him her heart and it wasn't something you could just take back.

"You probably won't like it, its really not worth reading " Lucas said coolly, the last thing he wanted was for her to go and buy it, how would he be able to face her then

"Hey it's by you, of course I want to read it" Brooke said patting his leg but then quickly withdrawing her hand upon realising how awkward she was making him feel, as soon as she had touch his thigh she had felt him tense up, she hadn't meant to make him feel uncomfortable, she was just being friendly, that was all it was.

"I can't wait to see Haley and Nathan and little James" Brooke said quickly changing the subject noticing how he didn't seem to be able to look at her

"Ah"

"What?

"Well um….like I said, Nathan isn't too well and Haley kind of asked me if you could stay with me" Lucas said not really believing the situation he was now in, he hated that he had no control over his feelings but he couldn't help who he loved, when she had touched him he couldn't help but tense up, having her touch him but knowing that he couldn't have her was unbearable

"Look it's ok I'll just check in to a hotel or something, I don't want you to go to any bother because of me and its probably for the best anyway considering…." Brooke began, she had already witnessed how uncomfortable he was, she didn't want to make him feel out of place in his home.

"Brooke we're friends right and it isn't any bother, plus it means we get to hang out and I can hear about how amazing your life is" Lucas quickly interrupted, he knew it wasn't going to be easy having her stay with him, but he had had 4 years without her and now she was here he just couldn't turn her away.

"It's not that amazing" Brooke muttered but still loud enough for Lucas to hear, he didn't know what to make of it, should he ask what she meant or just drop it?

"So did Haley tell you I have my own place now?" He asked choosing the latter option, his eyes firmly on the road ahead. He knew Haley had been on touch with Brooke but that was all he knew, he had seen the presents she had sent to James but Haley never spoke about her, well not in front of him anyway. All he knew about Brooke was what he had read in the papers and magazines, it hardly seemed real, they used to be so close and now it seemed so weird, how did they manage to fall apart like this

"No she didn't, we didn't really talk about you" Brooke said quickly but instantly regretting it upon seeing the hurt expression on his face

"Oh" Lucas said as he bit his lip unsure of what else to say

She noticed the smile on his face was now gone and replaced with a look of sadness, how could she tell him that the reason why she hadn't spoken or asked about him was because it hurt too much, she couldn't let her heart go there, not again.

"So what's this new place of yours like then?" Brooke asked wanting to put a smile back on his face

"You're just about to see" Lucas said as he parked the car

"Here I'll carry out" Brooke said signalling for him to hand over her suitcase as she closed the trunk

"Yeah I don't think you'll be seeing that when you see the stairs you have to climb" Lucas said

"OK yeah you can carry it" Brooke said quickly, she was wearing her favourite pair of Jimmy Choo's and she was definitely not about to risk falling down the stairs because she had to carry her suitcase

"I thought you would say that" Lucas joked, maybe she hadn't changed that much after all, deep down the same Brooke that he knew was still there, even if he had only seen a glimpse of the person she used to be he couldn't help but smile, maybe he still knew her pretty well after all

"God did you not think to get an apartment with a lift" Brooke said as she began to climb the first flight of stairs

Lucas couldn't help but laugh, he had forgotten little things like this that she would say and do, she was like a breath of fresh air and it was just what he needed, he had lost himself over the years and had ended up on a path he didn't want to be on, maybe she could be the one to set him back on the right track, maybe all this time all he he needed was one thing, her.

* * *

**Please review x x x**


	5. Pretty Girl

**Thanks for the lovely reviews so far**

* * *

"So welcome to my home" Lucas said as he turned the key in the lock and swung the door open

"I'm actually impressed"

"You sound surprised" Lucas said as he watched her eyes travel around the apartment taking in every little detail

"I guess I was expecting something more….." she began but couldn't quite find the words

"like a bachelor pad" he jumped in

"Well yeah, but this is much better" she said unconvincingly, she was glad it wasn't a bachelor pad but she had to admit that the whole place looked rather bare, like he hardly lived there, there were even still a few boxes scattered around the room clearly still waiting to be unpacked

"It was like this when I bought it, I haven't had time to redecorate so figured I would stick with what I had"

"Well its….nice"

"Nice?"  
"Yeah nice" Brooke repeated not being able to think of a better word to describe it

"Anyway lucky for you I have a nice bottle of wine in the fridge with our names written all over it" Lucas said as he made his way over to the fridge and she made herself comfortable on the couch

"Sounds perfect"

"So how long are you back for?" he asked hoping he would be able to spend some quality time with her, he wasn't sure he could take her flying back into his life like this and then disappearing once more, how long would it be until he saw her again then, a month, a year, 2 years, 5 years, his heart couldn't take that, that was one thing he knew for sure

"At least a week, after that I don't know"

"Well you are welcome to stay as long as you want"

"Thanks"

"So I know this might be a bit weird, but are you um….are you seeing anyone?" Lucas asked, maybe the wine was beginning to affect him but maybe it was a simple case of his heart doing the talking

"Kinda"

"Kinda?" He repeated raising his eyebrow, what was that meant to mean, surely you either were or you weren't

"It's complicated, I've been seeing this guy for a few months now but I just don't know where it is headed you know?"

"Do you love him?" He needed to know, if he didn't stand a chance then he wanted to know now

"Honestly I don't think I do, but you know maybe in time I will right, I mean he is gorgeous, he spoils me, he treats me so well and he is rich but there isn't that spark that…." Brooke quickly stopped knowing exactly where this was heading, she just couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence

"we had" Lucas finished for her

"Yeah, anyway enough about me, what about you, I take it you and Peyton aren't.." but she stopped, just mentioning Peyton and him in the same sentence brought up bad memories, they were her friends and she wanted them to be happy, she loved both of them after all, but seeing them together was probably the hardest thing, seeing them kiss and touch each other, seeing him whisper in her ear and wishing that was her, seeing the way they held hands and walked through the halls, knowing that it was once her hand that he had been holding, it was once her lips that he had been kissing, it was her ear that he had been whispering sweet nothing in, everything had changed so quickly and she knew she was partly to blame but it didn't make it any easier, infact it just made it harder, knowing the she had pushed him to her, if only she had told him how she felt at the time

"Yeah no that ended a long time ago" Lucas said looking for some sort of reaction

"What happened?" She asked curiously, she had been so convinced they were meant to be, that's why she had pushed him to her, surely she hadn't put herself through all of that for nothing

"It just didn't work out and so here I am" Lucas answered vaguely preferring to keep the details to himself for now  
"So you haven't met anyone else then?"

"No not really, to be honest I haven't really been looking" he didn't need to look, he already knew the one he wanted and she was sitting across from him on his couch

"Let love find you hey, sounds like a good plan" she smiled

"Yeah something like that"

"You'll find someone, from what I remember you were never without a girl for long in high school" Brooke joked but was rather unsure why she had brought that up

"Yeah" Lucas replied feeling rather uncomfortable, did she still think about high school? Would she ever be able to forgive him or should he just give up now

"So how are your mom and Lily?"

"They are good, Lily is going to be a real heartbreaker when she is older I can just tell"

"Sounds like something you two will have in common"

"Another glass of wine?" Lucas asked quickly raising the bottle

"Sure why not" Brooke said as she then watched him refill her glass

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't you keep in touch?, I guess what I am trying to ask is………why didn't you keep in touch with me?" He asked as he looked deep into her eyes searching for answers but all he found was confusion, and now he had more questions than ever

"I don't know, I mean I guess I was scared"

"Of what?"

"Luke you have to understand how hard it was for me, but I realised I had to have a clean break, away from the drama, away from my past…"

"away from me"

"Look don't get me wrong Lucas I did miss you, more than you can imagine, I've missed all of you, but I had to do it for me. I know I said I was ok with it back then but I really wasn't, seeing you with Peyton, it just hurt you know. I figured that if I just stopped seeing you both then maybe the hurt might go away"

"And did it?" Lucas asked seriously, his eyes had narrowed and his lips were now dry as he awaited her response

"Yeah I guess it did, but on some level I think it's always going to be there, you just don't get over something like that" She wasn't about to tell him that she still hurt even now, she wasn't going to tell him how nervous she was about what she might find when she came back.

"I did love you" He said staring at his now empty glass

"I know you did, and I guess there will always be something between us"

"Yeah I guess that spark is never going to go away"

"Look I think I might call it a night if that's ok with you, I guess the flight tired me out more than I thought" she said rising from the couch, the truth was she didn't like where the conversation she was going and she knew if she continued to drink then she was bound to say or do something she would regret

"Sure um….the spare room is filled with boxes right now though so you're going to have to sleep in my room though"

"Why didn't you say, I could have just stayed in a hotel" She said not believing this situation she was now in, did he seriously expect her to share a bed with him? After everything they had been through? He surely couldn't be that ignorant and stupid could he?

"I wanted you to stay" He knew it wasn't exactly well thought out but was it so bad that he wanted to spend some time with her?

"Well I'll sleep on the couch, it doesn't seem fair to chuck you out of your bed"

"Honestly it's fine, you're my first guest since I got this place and I wouldn't dream of making you sleep on the couch even if it was rather expensive and relatively comfortable"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah now go get some sleep" He said as he picked up the empty glasses and took them back to the kitchen

"Night Luke" Brooke said as she got to the bedroom door

"Nigh pretty girl" He wasn't sure why he said it, maybe on some level he was hoping that it would remind her of when they were together and all the good times they shared, maybe it was more that no matter what she would always be his pretty girl

**

* * *

Please review, I really would like to hear what you think x x x**


	6. Harder Than We Thought

Brooke slowly closed the door and collapsed against it and found herself crouched on the floor as she felt her eyes begin to fill with tears and slowly trickle down her cheeks.

He hadn't even done anything wrong, but at the same time he had done everything wrong. Hearing him call her his pretty girl just brought so many memories flooding back to her, she missed him of course she did, how could she not but she had told herself that she wouldn't let her heart go there again. She had tried with Chase, she really had but it wasn't the same, there wasn't that spark, that unquenchable thirst, when she looked into his eyes she didn't find herself getting lost. She had hoped that he would help her get over HIM but deep down she knew she was fighting a losing battle, there was a piece of heart that would always be missing, and HE had it.

Sure she was meant to be going out with this guy but it wasn't love, they both knew that, it just suited both of them, they had both been hurt in the past, they were both equally scared of commitment, their relationship wasn't about love, more companionship, they helped each other, she comforted him and in return he helped her get through the lonely nights. It wasn't about sex, far from it, they had slept together once, a case of few too many drinks, but morning had come and they had both known that what had happened was a mistake. They were both lonely and trying to find some comfort, she needed to feel wanted and good about herself and that's exactly what he helped her do. It wasn't as if they ever planned on kids or marriage, but they knew that they always had each other to turn to and that's what she needed, knowing that there was someone who was in a similar position as herself, knowing that she wasn't alone.

She gently sobbed still curled up a ball against the door, she didn't know what she had expected, she knew seeing him would be weird, but staying in his home, his room, his bed scared her. It wasn't as if he was in it too but it felt so wrong and yet so right. She tried wiping her tears away, she wasn't even sure why she was crying, maybe it was all the memories but maybe it was more to do with her being angry with herself, allowing herself to be in this position again, setting herself up for more hurt and disappointment, maybe they weren't tears of sorrow but more of anger and hurt. She pulled herself up onto her feet and glanced around the room, it was rather plain, it was quite obvious he hadn't spent much time at home but yet she couldn't help notice some pictures he had on his chest of draws. She slowly walked over to look at the pictures in greater detail but one picture had already struck her eye and she instantly remembered when it was taken

_Flashback_

_"Lucas I look a mess, please don't do that" she said pulling up a cushion so he couldn't see her face_

_"Aw come on, you look gorgeous, you always do"_

_"Fine but if this picture ever gets shown to anyone else you are dead" she said as she threw the cushion back on the couch_

_"It will be for my eyes only"_

_"Let's hurry up and get this over with then" Brooke said as she pushed her hair back behind her shoulders_

_"You ready" Lucas said as he set up the camera and rested it on the stand_

_"Ready"_

_He took his seat next to her and turned to face her_

_"Er Luke the camera is that way"_

_Next thing she knew his lips were on hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he slowly climbed on top of her and she began to sink deeper into the couch and soon found herself laying on her back, they could hear the camera clicking in the background but they only had eyes for each other._

_End flashback_

if there was one picture that showed how in love they were it was that one, it was so real, no fake smiles or lame poses, just real love. She took one last look at the picture before turning to look at the numerous other pictures he had spread out around the room, there was one, a family picture of Nathan, Haley and James, then another one of Karen and Lily, there was one of the whole group, one of her, Peyton and Lucas from ages ago and then on the very end was one of her, on her own. She couldn't shift this uneasy feeling as she looked at all the pictures, why did he have a have a picture of them together still? Why didn't he have one with him and Peyton too? Why was she the only one who had one with just her in it? She felt touched that clearly he hadn't forgotten about her, that he obviously still cared but at the same time she couldn't help but feel rather creeped out and uncomfortable. This was after all the guy who had gone off with her best-friend not once but twice, he clearly couldn't have cared that much, if she really meant that much to him then how could he have let her go TWICE? Maybe he just missed her, god knows she missed him the last 4 years. She slowly unzipped her suitcase and wiped away any remaining tears as she then began to rummage searching for something to sleep in.

Lucas lay on the couch trying to get comfortable, but for some reason he just couldn't get to sleep, knowing that she was just in the other room, laying and sleeping on his bed, it was almost too much to take. He had wondered so long what would it be like when he saw her next, would she be happy to see him, would she have moved on, would she have changed, would there still be that spark between them. He couldn't quite place it but there was something different about her, it was like something was missing, that twinkle in her eye was no longer to be seen, she still seemed like the same Brooke, she was bubbly and confident, but he knew the girl sleeping in his room now was not the same girl who he said goodbye to 4 years ago, there was a sadness to her now but yet he couldn't work out why, but he was determined to find out.

She folded back the sheets and climbed into the king size bed, it felt strange, she had slept in plenty of double beds before, quite a few king and queen size's but this was his king size bed, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help but picture him laying in the bed. Instead of spreading herself out she decided to remain to one side of the bed, she had always slept on the left hand side, that's just the way it was, force of habit. When they had been together it had actually worked out quite well, she liked the left, he liked the right, not that that was important but it was the little things that mattered and it was the little things that she would remember and hold in her heart.

He removed the eggs from the frying pan and carefully placed them on the plate, he had decided a full blown fry up would be perfect. He hadn't seen her yet, she was probably still in bed so the plan was to surprise her with breakfast in bed. Just as he finished arranging the items now set out on the plate he heard the door go

"Hey you're up" He said rather surprised

"Yeah I went for a run?" she replied

"I didn't expect you to be up so early" she couldn't help but notice a tint of sadness in his voice

"I tried not to wake you, you looked so peaceful"

"Don't worry, you didn't, anyway I was going to bring this to you in bed but as you are up I might aswell have it now"

"Uh um it's really sweet really it is but I was kinda hoping for a shower first, or did you want it first?" He shook his head

"No go right ahead" He wanted to make her feel welcome but it was so hard, he was trying his best but it was a case of one step forward two steps back, he just didn't seem to be getting anywhere

"Thanks I don't want to smell, don't you hate feeling all sweaty and sticky" Lucas watched her as she untied her hair and let it down loose

"Trust me, you don't smell"

"Even after a major run?" She was giving her 'I don't believe you look'

"You always smell sweet" He said as walked over to the sink

"Anyway I should um hop in the shower then"

"What about breakfast?"

"You got fruit? She asked as he turned his head to look at her

"Yeah"

"Perfect"

He watched her as she closed the door as she disappeared into the bathroom, he picked up the plate and proceeded to scrape all its contents in the bin, so much for making an effort.

He could hear the sound of the shower running, he would do anything to be able to touch her again, feel the warmth of her body next to his, feel the touch of her soft skin, feel her luscious lips on his once more. She was only in the next room, what was worse was knowing that he once had her body and her heart and now he had neither, if only she would be able to forgive him, if only she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Part of him just wanted to storm into the bathroom and have her right there and then, push her against the hard wall and let his lips attack hers, feel the trickle of the water over his face as he explored her inch of her body whilst she spread kisses all over, but he couldn't and he knew that wouldn't happen, there was a line and that would definitely be crossing it. It was complicated enough as it was, she was meant to be with someone anyway, as much he wanted her he wasn't sure she felt the same about him. He couldn't do that to her, not again, he couldn't just push all his feelings on her, it wasn't fair to expect her to have to deal with this. It was his problem, and he was just going to have to pull himself together and try to control his feelings no matter how hard it was

She emerged from the door, towel wrapped tightly around her

"That was exactly what I needed" she said as she flung her hair back

He slowly looked up, taking in every part of her, her legs were toned and tanned, her legs were relatively short compared to others but he thought she was just right, she wasn't too skinny but she wasn't fat, she was perfect. Her arms were also well toned, she clearly worked out and kept herself in good shape, he could still see the beads of water on the top of her chest. His attention then moved to her hair which she had pushed back behind her ears, it allowed him to fully take in her whole face, she was gorgeous, every single little part of her, her tiny little button nose, her soft lips, her amazing eyes, she was the picture of perfection, she always had been though, some things just would never change

She could feel his eyes were intently focused on her

"Good shower then" he said quickly regaining his senses hoping she had not noticed

"Yeah it was great, I'm just going to get changed and then I'll be right out" he watched her as she hurried back off to his bedroom

"Sure" He said as her watched her close the door

"So what's for breakfast then?" She was now dressed in a short pink skirt and white strappy top showing off all of her assets, if she didn't have his attention before she definitely did now.

"Apples or bananas?" He asked as he turned to face her again, why was she making this so hard, how could anyone not be tempted when she was dressed like that, her top was small and only covered half of her stomach leaving her midriff well on show, he was sure this was deliberate though, if Brooke Davis knew one thing, it was how the male mind worked, what they liked, what they wanted, how to turn them on and how to wrap them around her finger, and she definitely had him figured out

"I think I'll go with apple"

"So nice of you to give me bananas then"

"Hey I know how much you love bananas"

"Oh really, since when?" she smiled as he kinked his eyebrow

"Since I said so, plus you wouldn't dare deprive me of my apple" she said innocently

"I forgot how crazy you were" he let out a small laugh, she always knew how to bring a smile to his face. He actually couldn't remember the last time when he truly smiled or laughed, to say the last 4 years had been tough would be an understatement, it was the loneliness that had made it so hard, some girls had thrown themselves at him, but he just wasn't interested. He knew it wouldn't go anywhere and his heart wouldn't truly be in it so what was the point.

"I resent that"

"You know I was only joking"

"Yeah fine whatever"

"So what are your plans for the day?" he asked as he watched her as she took a large bite out of her apple

"I was thinking of maybe going for a walk, seeing what's changed, and Nathan and Haley and of course my godson" he couldn't help but notice the small smile that emerged on her face at the mention of James

"I might catch up with you later then"

"Where are you going then?" She asked rather confused, maybe it had been wrong to presume but she had hoped that maybe he would come with her but if he had plans that she wasn't about to make him cancel them, that wouldn't be fair on him. She had flown in, he had been forced to pick her up, he had taken her into his home, given up his bed, she was not about to ask him to give up his day too for her.

"Oh I just have a few things to do, but just incase you want to come back or drop anything off you should probably have this" he said as he pushed a key along the counter to her

"Aren't I lucky, I wonder how many other girls can say they have a key to Lucas Scott's apartment" she said playfully but she couldn't help but feel slightly curious as to what the answer was

"You're the only one" He sounded so shy, she hadn't seen him like this before, it was like he was embarrassed but she didn't know why, she tried looking into his eyes but his eyes were avoiding her gaze

"Aw I'm touched" She replied playfully

"You ok if I leave you now then"

"Yeah sure go ahead" she said trying to conceal her hurt, it was like he couldn't wait to escape, had she said or done something wrong?

"Here's my number if you need to get hold of me at all" he scribbled down his number on a scrap piece of paper and placed it in front of her

"Thanks, have a good time doing whatever you are doing" she said as she put her best smile, hoping he would not see through it

* * *

**Please review I really want to know what you think, I will update soon x x x**


	7. Making Up For Lost Time

She was excited and nervous at the same time about the day ahead, what if she didn't recognise the town she left 4 years ago, she had lived there nearly her whole life and now she felt a stranger

She was taken from her thoughts by the ringing from her bag

"Hales" Brooke said as she flicked open her cell

"Brooke" Haley replied, "Before you say anything I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, I know I put you in such an awkward position and you know I wouldn't have asked him to pick you up if I had had another choice, where did you stay?"

"At Lucas's" She said simply

"You stayed at his?" The shock evident in her voice

"Yeah why?"

"Oh I'm just surprised I just figured that you would check into a hotel or something, I didn't realise you would stay with him"

"I thought you had asked him?" Brooke asked rather confused

"No not at all, I said to take you to a hotel" Haley answered honestly

"Oh"

"So are things ok between you two?" Haley asked curiously

"Yeah we are actually getting on really well, I was worried that it would be too hard and that he might have changed but he's been great with me"

"So it's not awkward at all? Haley asked, there was silence

"Brooke?" Haley said checking she was there after she had not replied

"I'll tell you what, you come and pick me up and we can have a chat about it" Brooke reasoned

"Sure that sounds like a good plan"

"Oh and don't forget to bring James" she added excitedly, she couldn't wait to see her godson again

"He can't wait to see you when I told him he was going to see his Auntie Brooke his face lit up, you should have seen him" Haley giggled

"Aw"

"So do you want me to come now?"

"Yeah and I was thinking we could have a walk around so I can see how much this place has changed"

"Actually it hasn't changed that much, I mean the people have but it's still pretty much the same Tree Hill"

"That's a relief then"

"Anyway see you in ten"

"See ya" Brooke said as she closed her cell

Brooke waited anxiously on the couch, she was so excited, she had put the piece of paper with Lucas's number and the spare key he had given her in her bag just incase and was now just waiting for Haley. Her eyes travelled around the room, looking at the bare walls, in the bedroom there had been several pictures but as she sat on the couch there was not a picture in sight, there were no memories, no souvenirs, nothing, it was just bare. How could one room be so full of memories and yet another be completely empty?

Just then there was a knock at the door, she quickly jumped up and ran to the door not being able to wait a second longer

"Hales" Brooke said as she swung the door open and threw her arms around her

"You look great" Brooke remarked as she took in her friend's appearance, she hadn't changed much, her fashion sense had definitely improved but that was no surprise considering the numerous outfits she had sent her. Her hair was straight and she had grown out her fringe, and she looked a lot better for it as well, she wore little make up but Haley was one of those people who didn't really need it, she just had natural beauty

"What about you hey, you look amazing"

"Thanks and where is the little guy?" Brooke asked

"James this is your auntie Brooke" Brooke watched as a small little boy emerged from behind Haley, he had Haley's colour hair but definitely had Nathan's eyes

"Aren't you gorgeous, you've grown so much"

"Why don't you give your Auntie Brooke a hug baby" Brooke crouched down so she was more on his level, James slowly approached her and then wrapped his arms around her

"You're so tall" Brooke said in disbelief

"I know it's hard to keep track, he seems to be growing so quickly" Haley replied

"I think you got your daddy's genes hey" Brooke smiled as she looked at his cheeky little grin

"No my jeans" James said shaking his head and pulling up his jeans

"That's not what she meant baby" Haley smiled

"Aw it doesn't matter, let's get going then" she said excitedly as she grabbed her bag from the table

"So is Nate feeling any better?" Brooke asked as she took a seat at the table on the dock

"Yeah he's fine, must have been one of those 24hour bugs I guess" Brooke noticed how Haley was unable to look her in the eye when she replied, she always had been a terrible liar, some things never changed

"Yeah funny that" Brooke said kinking her eyebrow

"James be careful, you're gonna get it all down your clothes" Haley commented as she watched her son eat his ice-cream

"So anyway you and Lucas, spill" Haley said focusing her attention back on Brooke

"Things are good, I was so scared about seeing him again but it actually was not as bad as I thought"

"Brooke"

"What?" Brooke shrugged

"Come on, we both know you are dying to say something so just spit it out"

"Well it's just a bit weird you know, I mean I'm staying in his bed and then I saw the pictures and..

"Hang on wind back a bit…you're sleeping in his bed" Haley said her eyes now bulging in shock

"What! No it's nothing like that, what do you take me for?"

"Sorry but what are you doing in his bed then?" Haley asked calmly

"The other room is still filled with boxes so I offered to go to a hotel but he refused so then I was going to sleep on the couch but he refused again and insisted I had his bed"

"And he slept?

"On the couch"

"Wow" Haley remarked not really sure what to say

"Yeah it was just rather weird you know, and he still had this picture of us when we were together on his dresser and maybe its in my head and I'm just ultra sensitive when I am around him but I keep feeling like he is checking me out or something, is it possible that he still has feelings for me or do you think its nothing?"

"Brooke I honestly don't know" Haley said, she clearly hadn't read his book, she would find out sooner or later but it was up to Lucas to tell her how he felt.

"I'm just so confused you know, it's like in New York I am so together, but here its like I am a nervous wreck, I just don't know what's going on, oh and when I touched him in the car" Brooke noticed the look she was receiving from Haley, "not like that, who knew you had such a…" Brooke glanced over at James and continued, "such a bad mind" Haley couldn't help but laugh

"So what was it like then?" Haley asked raising her eyebrows

"I just patted him on the leg and he completely tensed up you know and this morning it was like one minute he was fine and the next he just couldn't wait to get out, I don't think I said anything to upset him"

"Oh you know what he's like, just give him some time to himself and he'll be fine, he's probably still in shock that you're back"

"Yeah I guess" She had been thinking so much about her and what a big deal it was for her to come back that she had kind of forgotten about how other people felt about her being back and the effect it would have on them.

"Mom" Both adults attention was now on James and the mess that was now on his shirt

"I told you to be careful sweetie and now look, you've got it all down you"

"You got any tissues?" Haley asked her

"No sorry"

"I've got some wipes in the car I think, I'll be right back, James come with me sweetie, let's get you all cleaned up" Haley said as she held out her hand to the 4 year old who quickly placed his hand in hers

Brooke watched as Haley led James back to the car, he was such an adorable little kid, and she couldn't help but drift off and think into the future, would she ever have children, what would they look like? Who would they take after the most? She had had this perfect image in her head in high school of how her life would pan out, she always wanted the big fairytale wedding with all the beautiful flowers and she would be dressed in a beautiful white gown. Then there was the house, with a huge garden where the kids could play, she wanted at least two kids, that way they wouldn't get lonely, if it was one thing she knew, it was being lonely and she was determined that if she ever had kids that they would not have to suffer like she had. BUT the problem was that in all these plans there was a certain somebody and no matter how hard she tried, whenever she shut her eyes and thought about the future, he was there, he was there standing at the alter waiting for her, he was the one by her side as she gave birth, he was the one playing basketball with the kids, he was everywhere and she just couldn't shake the images from her head. She wished she could, she had been away 4 years and yet she still hadn't been able to shift him from her head. She shook her head and looked out at the water, how could she even be thinking about him, it had been 4 years, and after all he had done to her how could she even be thinking about him like this. When she had got together with Brad she had hoped that his face would then vanish from all her dreams and thoughts but he was still there, nothing had changed

"You ok?" Haley asked as she and James walked back to the table

"Yeah I'm good just remembering old times that's all" Haley couldn't help but notice the sadness in her voice

"Oh ok, well the good news is that we managed to get this one all clean, but the bad news is that we have to go" Haley said sadly knowing how exciting Brooke had been to see James

"Aw so soon, but we've hardly got to chat and I haven't spent nearly enough time with you mister" Brooke said crouching down to James's level

"I know I know but Nathan called and he wants me to pick some stuff up, apparently it's urgent"

"I guess I'll see you some other time then" Brooke said pulling herself as they began to walk away

"Brooke" Haley called

"Yeah" she spun back round

"Do you have plans for tonight?"

"No not that I know of"

"Well it's just an idea, I mean you don't have to but I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and maybe baby-sit James?"

"I'd love too" Brooke answered eagerly, sure she didn't have much experience with kids, but how hard could it be, he was only 4 after all

"Well great, is 7 ok?"

"7 is wonderful, did you hear that little man, Auntie Brooke is babysitting you tonight" she said happily

"I don't need a babysitter, I'm a big boy" James said stubbornly as he folded his arms

"I know you are, so think of it more as spending some quality time with your Auntie Brooke, does that sound good?"

James nodded

"Good well I'll see you at 7 then" Brooke said happily

"Oh and Hales, thanks"

"No problem"

If there wasn't so many people around then she would have done her happy dance but she wasn't quite ready for public humiliation.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Peyton would you open up" Lucas said as he banged again on the door for the 8th time

"Look I know your in, please would you just talk to me" She had to open up at some point

Peyton's window slid open

"You can't just do what you did and expect me to want to talk to Lucas, who do you think you are coming round here like this, do you not think you've done enough as it is" Peyton said bitterly

"I came to apologise, please let me explain" he pleaded

"Yeah well it's a little too late" Peyton replied as she threw one of her books at him, luckily for him he saw it coming though and stepped out of the way. He knew she would be mad, he knew she wasn't going to greet him with open arms but she was so angry, he hadn't meant to hurt her like this, how could following his heart cause so much anger and pain?

"Just give me 10 minutes please and then I promise I'll leave"

He waited patiently on the path and sure enough the door slowly began to open

"You've got 5 minutes" Peyton said begrudgingly

"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am Peyton, I guess I just didn't think" Lucas said as he stepped into the main room

"You can say that again, how did you think I felt Lucas huh, what happened to 'I'll wait for you', was that all crap too? Was I just some stupid mistake? Is that what I was to you?" He watched her pace up and down the room as she spoke, her eyes were puffy, she had clearly been crying, her hair was tied back into a scruffy bun, there was so much anger, he knew he was going to have to pick his words carefully otherwise he just might be on the receiving end of a Peyton Sawyer bashing

"No Peyton" he began

"Well then please explain because I sure as hell don't know how that mind of yours works" Peyton raged and then collapsed into the chair

"I really did think I was in love you, I would never have said those things to you if I hadn't believed and meant them at the time"

"Now this is where the BUT comes right"

He sadly nodded

"I guess when we went our separate ways and I had time to think things through"

"you realised how you didn't love me at all" She finished for him

"Peyton I did love, I still do, I'm just not IN love with you, I guess I never was"

"Why couldn't you had told me Lucas, why didn't you come and tell me that face to face, or pick up the phone or hell even e-mail would have been ok, instead I had to read it in your stupid book" He watched her as she shook her head in disbelief

"I'm sorry"

"Do you know how embarrassing that was Luke, do you have any idea what it feels like to read that about yourself, and have all your friends and people around you reading it"

"I didn't mean to hurt you"

"Well you did"

"If I could take it back you would"

"Great so then you would just be carrying on as if we were all ok then, and our whole relationship would be based on a pack of lies" She said rolling he eyes

"I didn't mean that, I meant if I could take back the way I did it then I would"

"What do you want me to say Luke, that you're forgiven that we're ok, that we can be friends………… because I don't think I can do that" she said wiping a single tear away that had been trickling down her cheek

"Peyton"

"No you know what, what you did it hurt like hell but in a way I should be thanking you" He could tell she was trying to put on a brave front for him

"Thanking me?"

"Yeah, I kept telling people how I had this boyfriend back home and how happy we were, but that book, I guess it set me free, and I met someone"

"Who?" She could hear the scepticism clear in his voice

"Are you jealous?" She asked

"No I just am having trouble understanding why you are so angry with me if you met someone else, I mean you're happy right?"

"Yeah I am, are you?" She asked

She watched him as he now refused to look at her and instead was looking down at the table

"Oh so you went through all of this and you're still not happy, what happened, did she turn you down?" She laughed and shook her head, this whole situation was just unbelievable

"She doesn't know" he muttered but he knew she had heard

"Know what?" Peyton asked curiously

"She doesn't know how I feel"

"But surely she's read it"

He slowly shook his head

"Oh you are in a mess aren't you, you do realise she is going to read it eventually don't you" He couldn't help but hear a hint of joy in her voice, how could she find this funny, did she just enjoy watching him squirm?

"Of course I do but what am I meant to do, she's been back less than a day, I can't just walk up to her and say you know the reason why I broke up with Peyton was because of you and for the last 4 years I have not been able to get you out of my head, you're all I have thought about and I would do anything for a second chance

"Yeah ok good point, I think that might just kill her" Peyton said

"Joke" she added as she noticed the serious expression on his face

"Well I'm glad to see you find this funny" he remarked

She paused not sure of what she was meant to say to him

"I can't forgive you Lucas, not yet anyway" She said breaking the silence

"I understand, but can you please talk to Brooke, she is convinced she had done something and kept asking me about why you acted so weird at the airport"

"So you want me to be all best friends again with the girl who caused my boyfriend to dump me, yeah sounds great, I'll ring her right now" her sarcastic tone was evident

"Please Peyton don't be like this, it's me who's in the wrong ok, Brooke's completely innocent, she has no idea how I feel, and even if she did I'm not too sure she would even feel the same way" He sighed

"Why do you think that?" she asked

"She's technically with someone"  
"Ah"

"Yeah and we all know how messy love triangles get" He said as he fell into the chair

"That's the understatement of the century" she mumbled

"Maybe it's better if I just don't tell her, I mean who knows, she might not even read the book"

"Lucas she deserves to know how you feel, and to be honest I would be annoyed if you didn't tell her. You dumped me for her right? So if you don't even have the guts to tell her how you feel then it's like I went through all of this for nothing you know"

"But how do I tell her?"

"Look I'm not being funny but you're now kinda crossing the line now, I don't mind giving you my opinion but it's a bit weird giving you relationship advice"

"Sorry" he sheepishly replied

"Yeah me too"

"For what?"

"For throwing that book at you"

"I deserved it"

"I know, but I'm still sorry"

"So are we friends?" Lucas asked hopefully

"No but I don't hate you"

"I guess that's a start" he said rising from the chair

"Well I think we can safely say your time is well and truly up" he heard her say as she glanced at her watch

"Yeah I guess so, thanks though for hearing me out"

"Don't mention it"

Lucas closed the door behind him and got back in his car, he hadn't meant to hurt her so much but at least there was a chance she could one day forgive him and maybe they could be friends again. Now he just had to pluck up the courage to tell Brooke how he felt, that was going to be the hardest task of all, was he really brave enough to put himself out there and risk having his heart trampled on? After all it would probably be what he deserved, he had had his shot, infact he had had two chances, and he had blown both of them, now all he could do was pray for another chance, and hope it wasn't too late and he hadn't done too much damage the previous two times.

* * *

**Please review x x x**


	8. Why Did I Do That?

Brooke aimlessly walked around town going in various shops along the way. It was weird, she now had so much money that she didn't even need to look at price tags anymore. She had always grown up with her parents basically throwing money at her, if she wanted something she got it, simple as that, but then that had all changed when her parents went bankrupt, she had been forced to appreciate money and learn how to budget, something that definitely did not suit her. Then her dad got his new job and things pretty much went back to normal, but it was pretty safe to say that now she probably had even more money than she had before, money definitely was not an issue for her. For some reason though she still found herself looking at the price tags, she knew what was good quality and what was a rip off, she didn't mind splashing at now and again but she knew when the price was too high, being in the fashion industry she could look at a garment and instantly know whether it was worth the money that they were asking for.

She soon found herself at a little café and paused for a drink

"I'll have an espresso please" She said as the waiter approached her table

She stared at all the people walking by and an overwhelming sense of loneliness came over her, she was all alone, no Peyton, no Haley, no Lucas, no Nathan, no Rachel, no one, here she was all alone

"Hey it's me" Brooke said as she held her cell to her ear and stared down at the piece of paper he had given her

"_Hey, I was just wondering where you were"_ she couldn't help but smile at the sound of his voice, somehow he made her feel less alone

"I'm just in town"

"_I should have known Brooke Davis could not stay away from the shops for long"_

"Hey a girl has to shop………" She paused not sure if she should ask or not, "Well I guess the reason why I rang was that um…… I'm meant to be babysitting James tonight and I just wondered if you….." Brooke shook her head in disbelief how could she even be asking this, it was all wrong, "actually you know what, just ignore me, pretend I didn't say anything, the heat must have gone to my head"

"_Brooke"_He said stopping her before she could carry on, he could tell she was nervous, whenever she got like that she would begin to ramble and that was exactly what she was doing now

"Yeah" She said as she took a deep breath

"I'd love to come"

"Are you sure? I mean I'm surprised you're not sick of me by now"

"_I could never be sick of you"_ She could hear him chuckle lightly at her comment

"Yeah we'll see if you're still saying that at the end of the week"

"_So what time do you want me__?"_

"Well Hales said about 7 is that ok, you don't think its gonna be well……a bit weird"

"_No just think of it as us doing godparent duty"_

"Yeah I guess, anyway so I'll see you at 7 then"

"_It's a date"_He replied but quickly wished he could take his words back, things were awkward enough as it was without him making comments like that

"Uh" she was literally stumped for words

"_You know what I meant"_ He laughed but she could tell it wasn't a haha funny laugh, it was much more of an awkward nervous laugh, clearly she wasn't the only one finding it all rather weird

"Yeah see ya later then" Brooke replied hastily and quickly hung up before either of them said anything else they would regret. Had she seriously just done that, had she just asked her ex to baby-sit with her! What had possessed her to ask him of all people!

Time rolled by and she soon found herself standing outside Haley and Nathan's door, she glanced at her watch and realised she was actually early, the truth was that the day hadn't turned out how she had planned, it had started off so well, spending time with James and Haley was just what she needed but when they had left she had received a massive reality check. Not only was she all alone for the rest of the afternoon but she knew that whilst Haley had James and Nathan to come home to, who did she have? She had a Lucas and his bare apartment and then when she went back to New York, who would she have then? Brad, that relationship if she could even call it one, was hardly going anywhere. It wasn't like she could rely on Brad to be there for her forever, although they were in a similar position the fact was that she couldn't see him waiting for her, and why would he want to anyway, it wasn't like he was in love with her either, he understood how hurt she had been in the past, but she couldn't expect him to be the one to always comfort her, he didn't even love and she didn't love him, how could that possibly work.

She had ended up doing some serious retail therapy to try and cheer herself up and it had worked in the short term but now she was standing outside their door, thinking of the happy little family inside and she couldn't shift this empty feeling, it wasn't jealousy, she was happy for them but she just wished she had even a tiny bit of their happiness, she didn't want the world, she just wanted to love and be loved back, was that too much to ask?

She took a deep breath and then raised the door knocker and knocked on the door, she could hear footsteps approaching the door and then there in front of her stood her friend

"Brooke you're early" Haley said clearly shocked to see her friend there early, Brooke had never been known for being punctual, far from it.

"Yeah I kinda got bored" she smiled nervously hoping that it was ok that she was early

"Wow I never thought you could get bored shopping………" Haley paused and then looked at the several bags Brooke had now placed on the carpeted floor, "So did you buy anything nice?"

"A few things"

"Come on then, let's have a look" Haley said trying to peer into one of the bags

"I was hoping you would say that, but are you sure you have time"

"Yeah we've got plenty of time now let's see what you got" Haley said picking up on how awkward Brooke was looking, she wasn't sure why, maybe she was still trying to adjust to being back home and it was not just taking a while

"What do you think of this?" Brooke asked as she whipped out a short white mini skirt that flared out at the bottom

"Well it's not exactly something I would buy, but for you its perfect" Haley said happily

"Ok oh and then I saw this and I just had to have it" Brooke said as she rummaged through the various bags and pulled out a deep red coloured halter neck, it was simple yet elegant

"Now that is gorgeous", Haley knew just from looking at it that it must have cost a lot, with Brooke though she had learnt not to ask how much things cost. Brooke had sent her so many clothes and she had offered to pay for them and tried to force Brooke to take her money or at least something for them but Brooke being Brooke had flatly refused

"Then I bought this but now I'm having second thoughts, I mean I don't want to look fat you know, and I know how black is meant to be slimming but still" Brooke said as she slowly pulled another garment out of a bag, she held it up against her body and looked at Haley for some kind of help or thought on the item in question

"Wow"

"Is that a good wow or a 'wow oh could she seriously consider wearing that kind of wow'?" Brooke asked still holding the dress against her

"Definitely the first option, Brooke you will look stunning trust me, so is there any particular reason why you bought it?" Haley asked, the dress wasn't something she would wear shopping, it was definitely a special occasion kind of dress, the dress to wear somewhere elegant and expensive, not some burger joint

"No it was one of those impulse buys, I saw it and I just had to have it then on my way over I started to have doubts, oh I almost forgot….." Brooke trailed off as she searched through her bags

"Now I know you don't like me buying things but I saw this and I just thought of you and then I saw this adorable little outfit and even if he doesn't like it I just had to get it so here". She passed the bag over to her and bit her lip hoping that she would like what she had bought

"Brooke I can't accept them, you have given me and James and Nathan enough as it is" Haley said as she shook her head and held out the bag back to Brooke

"Tutor mom let me spoil you ok, anyway just think of it as a thank you for cheering me up earlier present" There was no way she was taking them back, what was the point in having all that money anyway if she couldn't spoil her friends now and again

"You're not going to let me say no are you" she chuckled

Brooke laughed and shook her head

"James is so excited to spend some time with his Auntie Brooke" Haley said changing the subject and resting the bag on the floor

"Yeah about that………"Brooke began but was quickly cut off

"Is something wrong?" Haley asked worriedly

"No……..it's just that I thought I should probably tell you that…… I invited someone round" Brooke trailed off

"Brooke" Haley said rolling her eyes "The first time you baby-sit and you're already inviting people round, do we even know this person?" How could Brooke do this, she wasn't exactly known for being sensible but how could she seriously think this was ok?  
"Well you should do" Brooke smiled nervously

"Please say its not a guy" Haley said worriedly

She slowly nodded

"Just tell me who it is" She demanded, she was not about to leave her son with some guy even if he was with Brooke

She was about to answer but then their attention quickly turned to the door as sound of someone knocking on the door could be heard

"I guess that's him, really Brooke though, I just can't believe you would pull this kind if a stunt when you are meant to be looking after your godson" Haley said in disbelief as she made her way to the door

"Look I don't know what Brooke's told you but I think you should….. go" Haley stopped dead in her tracks as she opened the door and saw the familiar face, "Luke what are you doing here?"

"Uh……Brooke invited me" He said rather confused

"So you're the guy she invited" Haley said putting two and two together

"Yeah I guess I am, why, did you want me to go then?" He asked about to turn away

"No no, you stay, I am sure James will be made up to see his uncle Luke and Auntie Brooke"

"Ok well I brought a bottle of wine if that's ok" he said as he stepped inside and placed the bottle on the counter

"Sure just make sure you don't get drunk while looking after my son ok, and keep that bottle …..

"away from James….I know Hales I know" He couldn't help but laugh, he knew she was just being protective and that was understandable but they had all now come to learn what she was going to say where James was concerned

"OK well he's already eaten and had his bath" Haley said and then looked at her watch "Nathan we need to get going, otherwise we are gonna be late" she called up

"Coming" Nathan yelled back as he made his way down the stairs

"Right his bed time is 8 and I've put down a list of contact numbers on the fridge"

"Bro I didn't realise you were coming round" Nathan asked as he grabbed his jacket off the chair

"No it was rather last minute…..Brooke invited me" He couldn't help but emphasise the Brooke part

"Oh that's cool" Nathan said as he raised his eyebrow

"James" Haley shouted, "Auntie Brooke and Uncle Luke are here"

"Yay, Uncle Luke and Auntie Brooke" James cheered as he ran into the room

"Now you behave for them ok!" Haley said sternly

"Yes mom" James replied, Brooke couldn't help but smile as she watched mother and son interact, motherhood really suited Haley and she could only wish that she would be able to be in her position one day and have a family of her own rather than looking after other people's kids all the time instead

"We're gonna have so much fun aren't we James" Brooke said happily as she looked at the little boy who looked so much like his dad, seeing them stand side to side was such a picture, the comparisons were endless

"Well mommy and daddy love you loads ok and we won't be long" Haley said as she kissed him on the forehead "Just ring if you need anything" Haley said focusing her attention back on Brooke

"Mom just go"

"I think that's our cue to leave" Nathan joked

"Ok well have fun" Haley said as she followed Nathan out the door leaving Brooke, Lucas and James behind them

* * *

**Please take the time to review and let me know what you think x x x**


	9. Fun and Games with Baby James

"So what do you wanna do now little man?" Brooke asked as the door slammed shut

"I wanna play" James cheered

"How bout a game of NBA" Lucas suggested, Nathan was determined to make sure James was into basketball and it seemed to have worked. Every time he came round to baby-sit him or take him out for the day all James would want to do was play basketball, there was definitely something in the Scott DNA that was for sure.

"YAY"

"And this time I might even let you win" he smirked

James chuckled

"What's so funny?"

"You" James giggled

"Huh"

"You're not even cool to little kids" Brooke laughed quietly

"You think I'm cool don't you buddy?" Lucas said turning to James

"OK who is cooler, Auntie Brooke or Uncle Luke?" she interjected

James hesitated for a few seconds but then quickly made his decision

"Auntie Brooke, because she sends me cool presents" a massive grin appearing on his little face

"Ha" Brooke said as she then stuck at her tongue "See, I'm cool"

"I give you presents" Lucas said slightly hurt

"Auntie Brooke's are better" James said frankly

"I guess that's told me then" he smiled, being second best to Brooke wasn't exactly bad by any means

"I won, I won" James cried as he proceeded to run around the room. Not only had he managed to beat Lucas but he had practically destroyed him on the court.

"I went easy on him" Lucas said as he collapsed in the seat next to her

"Yeah course you did" Brooke sarcastically replied

"I did" he said adamantly

"Fine I believe you"

"Really?"

"Yeah sure, I mean if that's your story, I guess I believe you" she shrugged her shoulders and rose to her feet to then walk over to the back of the chair Lucas was sitting in

"See your saying that but your voice is saying the complete opposite" he said as he slowly made his way to where she was standing

"Your ego can't take that it lost to a 4 year old can it" Brooke joked

"Nope"

"Aw poor little Lucas"

"We'll see about that" He said as began to tickle her

"Lucas stop, you know how ticklish I am" she managed to say in between laughs

"Please" she tried again, hoping that he would stop, the worst thing was that he knew just where to tickle her as well, he hadn't forgotten from when they were together and now he was using that against her

"Come on James" Lucas called as he carried on tickling her

"YAY tickle Auntie Brooke" James cried as she ran over to them

Between the two of them they had managed to pin her to the floor

"Seriously please stop" she pleaded hoping they had had their fun and would stop

"What's that James..." Lucas said turning to him, "she wants to be tickled more" James laughed excitedly as they continued to tickle her

"I can't breathe" she managed to say as she gasped for air

"Come on James we better stop" he said as he quickly pulled himself and James off of her realising that she wasn't joking when she said she couldn't breathe

"Sorry about that" He extended his arm out to her to help her up

"Remind me to kill you later" She replied as she accepted his hand and he pulled her up onto her feet as she tried to get her breath back

"It was only a bit of fun, you enjoyed it didn't you James" he said hoping that seeing James had enjoyed himself would make her less mad with him, well that was the plan anyway

The youngster eagerly nodded

"James you ever played a game called Horsies?" Brooke asked

He couldn't help but see the evil glint in her eye as she asked the 4 year old

"No….." James replied as he shook his head, "How do you play?" He asked excitedly

"I'll tell you but we are gonna need Uncle Luke"

"Uncle Luke please play" James pleaded

"I don't know" he said as he looked down at the boy who was looking at him with his dark brown eyes

"Please Uncle Luke please" James begged

"Fine I'll play" he conceded, if he didn't say yes then James would just end up throwing a tantrum and that was not something he wanted to be on the receiving end of.

"Ok now get on your hands and knees" Brooke smiled

"Excuse me" He hoped he had heard wrong but had a bad feeling that he had heard her perfectly clearly

"You heard me, now get on your hands and knees" Brooke said as she clapped her hands together in satisfaction

"I can't believe I am doing this" he muttered as he slowly crouched down and got on his hands and knees waiting for the next part

"Now James you sit on his back"

"I don't think I like the sounds of this game" Lucas said seriously tempted to get up again but then he saw how excited James looked and he knew he had to carry on

"You said you would play so it's too late to back out, now be a good horsie and be quiet" she ordered, he could tell she was enjoying it, having some power over him, and ordering him about

"Come on James lets get you on" she said as she carefully lifting him up and placed him on Lucas's back

"Ok so this is your horse and he is going to take you on a little ride"

"I'm a cowboy" James cheered

"Sure sweetie, now if you wanna go faster then just do this" James watched as she raised her hand and slapped Lucas on the shoulder

"Ow that hurt"

"I'm sorry but I didn't realise horses could talk, how do they go again James?" She smiled as she asked her godson, she was having way too much fun with this, it wasn't everyday she had Lucas on his hands and knees and he had to do whatever she told him to

"Neigh" James replied enthusiastically

"Let's see if we can get your horse to sound like that then"

"Come on horsie" James cried

"Brooke seriously" he grumbled, she had had her fun, now it was just plain humiliation

"Horsies don't talk" James said as he heard his uncle speak

"No they don't do they James" She chuckled, James was really enjoying himself and Lucas well, he wasn't too happy, he should have known she wasn't just going to let him get away with tickling her like that earlier though, and now it was his turn

"Neigh" he said quietly

"There's a good horsie, now give him a pat on the back"

"Good horsie" James said as he gently patted Lucas on the back

"Faster faster" James cheered as they went round for the fifth time round the room

"I'm sure you can go faster that that" Brooke chimed in as she watched her godson slap Lucas on the back urging him to go faster

"OK that's it, my back hurts" he said as he came to a halt and waited for his nephew to climb off

"Aw no fair, I wanna go again" James whined as she lifted him off and placed him back on the ground

"Maybe Auntie Brooke will give you a go" Lucas smirked

"Actually I think it is past someone's bed time" Brooke said knowing exactly what he was playing at, and to be fair it was actually past his bedtime so she wasn't lying.

"I'm not even tired, can't I just stay up a little longer, please Uncle Luke" he looked at the cute little puppy dog eyes his nephew was looking at him with

"Sorry little man but your Auntie Brooke is right, now let's get you to bed" he said as he took his hand and started to lead him up to the stairs

"Do you mind if I do it?" She quickly asked, she hadn't spent much time with her nephew over the years and had missed out on all the little things like putting him to bed, she knew it didn't seem like much but it meant a lot to her

"Sure go ahead"

"Come here hunny" Brooke said as she took his hand and led him up the stairs

"There you go" She pulled the duvet further over him to make sure he was covered and wouldn't get cold

"Auntie Brooke" James replied as he rubbed his eyes

"Yes sweetie" she said as she pulled the curtains and plugged in his night light

"Do you like Uncle Luke?"

"Of course I like Uncle Luke, he's my friend" she replied as she checked again that he was all tucked in

"He likes you too"

"Does he now" Brooke said curiously

"He told me all about you"

"Nothing bad I hope" she laughed lightly but was actually dying to know what he had said about her, it shouldn't matter but it did, she needed to know what he had said but she didn't want to look desperate

"No all good" James smiled, "Mummy and Daddy talk about you too"

"Oh really and what do they say?" She was intrigued now, it was amazing how much information a 4 year old could have. It seemed that everyone had been talking about her, now all she had to do was find out what they had said

"Yeah I heard them, they said it was sad"

"What was?" Brooke asked rather puzzled

"Why aren't you with Uncle Luke?" James asked clearly ignoring her question

"Um………it's complicated" She stuttered unsure of how to answer that, how did she tell a 4 year old that she still had feelings for Lucas but they couldn't be together because of what had happened in the past, it would just lead to even more questions. There was no way she was going to trouble the mind of a 4 year old with her problems, he was so young and innocent, he didn't realise the hurt and destruction that you incur along the way and she hoped he never did, she wouldn't wish a broken heart on anyone

"Why?" James asked innocently

"Maybe I'll tell you some other time ok, now you need to get to sleep before your mom and dad get home"

"Night Auntie Brooke"

"Night sweetie" she lightly kissed him on his forehead and made her way over to the door, where she switched the light off and gently closed the door. She slowly turned to head back downstairs but found herself taking a step back in shock

"God you made me jump" she said as she placed her hand over her heart, there he was standing right in front of her, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough, I just thought you might need some help as he can be a handful at times but I can see you have it under control" he said eyes still focused on her

"Does that boy always ask so many questions?" She laughed

"Pretty much" He answered and then paused a little not sure if he should let on how much he heard, "nice answers by the way"

"Thanks" she said as she tried to think of something to say. "So I hear you talk about me" she rested her hand on her hip, if he had overheard her conversation then she was at least going to ask him about it

"Yeah I just thought he should know how insane his Auntie Brooke was….." He paused and noted the frown that was currently on her face, "and of course how amazing and talented she is" He watched as the frown quickly disappeared and a big wide smile replaced it

"You still know all the right things to say don't you" she chuckled as she made her way past him and walked down the stairs

"I don't know how they do it" She said as she fell back into the chair and took a sip of the wine he had poured her

"Who?"

"Haley and Nathan, I'm exhausted after trying to keep up with him and that's only one night"

"You'd be fine" he said reassuringly

"Ha" she laughed dryly, "I'm not so sure"

"Really Brooke, you will be a great mother, anyone who saw you with James tonight can see that. Trust me, you're a natural" she smiled weakly at his words but for some reason the words _Trust me _stuck in her head, she had trusted him before and look where that had got her, alone and broken hearted. At least his words couldn't come back and hurt her as much anymore.

"Well this might be as close as I get to having my own kid anyway" she said getting her mind back on topic, she wasn't sure why she was telling him all of this, it wasn't like it was any of his business anyway, it just felt right and she was powerless to stop

She looked at the puzzled expression he was giving her

"I mean what with me and Brad….to be honest kids are not going to happen, hell marriage isn't even going to happen. We don't even love each other…………" She paused trying to be strong and not show how scared and vulnerable she was feeling, she was not going to cry in front of him, she had cried enough tears because of him as it was, she didn't want to let him see how weak she was really feeling, she just couldn't. She took another deep breath and continued "I just think it's important for kids to have parents who love each other you know. Maybe there is still hope for me though, I guess I will just have to wait and see" She knew what it was like more than anyone having parents that didn't love each other, it seemed the only reason her parents were still together was because they were worried how a divorce would affect their social standing and they didn't want to lose their money. Her dad was the one with all the money so he certainly wasn't going to ask for a divorce and risk having to hand over half over to her mom, and her mom loved all the perks of being married to someone rich so she was not going anywhere fast. It was bad enough being in a loveless relationship but to then drag children into it was just plain wrong and she was determined she would never do that.

She heard him sigh loudly and then he opened his mouth to speak "I know it's none of my business but…"

"Why am I with him" She completed his sentence for him knowing exactly what he was going to ask.

"Well yeah" he was looking at her so intently, she wasn't sure where to look. If she looked at him he might just see how scared and alone she really was, but if she looked away then he would see how hurt she was and realise that the truth was she didn't know why she was with him either.

"Sometimes I ask myself that exact same question and every time I come up with the same answer……" She paused and took a deep breath, "You see you don't know what it is like to be alone, I mean truly alone, you've always had your mom or Haley or Nathan. The loneliness just eats away at you and I found myself in a really dark place." She stopped to regain her composure as she realised her voice was beginning to crack and the tears were slowly forming. "Then I met Brad and I just figured why not, you know, it's not as if it's going anywhere but it sure as hell beats being alone and coming home to any empty apartment every night"

"Why didn't you call, I would have been there for you and the others would have done too" he said sadly, if only he had known, he would have got on the first flight he could and flown to be with her, why hadn't she called?

"I couldn't Lucas, you just don't get it do you, I couldn't just pick up the phone and ask any of you to just put your lives on hold, drop what you're doing and hop on a plane just because I was feeling lonely."

"I would have come" he softly said, he needed her to know that he would have been there for her

She took another deep breath, she knew he would have been there for her but he couldn't have been there for her in the way she wanted, she wanted him but after the way he had hurt her she just couldn't go there again and he was meant to be with Peyton. She knew what it was like when he kept disappearing off with Peyton while he was meant to be going out with her and if she had called Lucas then she would have been doing the same thing that Peyton had done to her, she didn't want to be the other woman or someone who came between them, it wasn't fair and she was not going to do that. It hurt like hell when it was her and she watched her boyfriend go off with Peyton and there was no way she wanted to be responsible for hurting anyone else, let alone Peyton, in that way. "I know but it wouldn't have been fair, not on you, not on me, not on anyone" She said as she took another swig of her drink, she knew she had to watch how much she drank, not just because she was looking after James but because she knew that the more she drank, the more she was likely to say something she would regret, things were complicated enough without drunken confessions that was for sure.

* * *

**Thanks to those of you who have been reviewing and I hope some more can take the time to tell me what they think x x x**


	10. Why Didn't You Call?

"We're home"

"I'm so sorry we are so late but we.." Haley suddenly lowered her voice when she saw Lucas gesturing to her to be quiet, "lost track of time" she said almost in a whisper

"What happened here man?" Nathan asked as he looked at the sleeping figure lying across his brother

"I think I bored her to death" he joked but didn't want to laugh too much for fear of waking her

"How was James? Did he behave?" Haley asked quietly as her husband when up to check on him

"He was as good as gold, went fast to sleep" he whispered

"So you two look very cosy" Haley smiled

"It's not like that so you can stop looking at me like that"

"Fine whatever you say"

"What's going on?" Brooke said groggily as she slowly raised her head from his lap and took in her surroundings

"You fell asleep" he said as watched the formerly sleeping figure's head rise from his chest

She soon realised she was still leaning on him and quickly pulled away "I'm so sorry"

"It's fine really, it was actually rather comfortable having you lay on me" she smiled weakly at his comment but couldn't help the uneasy feeling she had, asking her what the hell she was thinking for allowing herself to fall asleep on him of all people, "How long was I out for?"

"Not long, blabbermouth woke you up" Lucas said as he looked over at Haley

"I'm sorry, how was I meant to know that when I came home Brooke would be sleeping on your lap" they both looked away unsure of what to say

"Anyway we should….um…..probably get going" Brooke said still rather groggily as she pulled herself off of the couch

"Yeah it's rather late" Lucas said as he looked at his watch, he could tell she was feeling rather awkward and wanted to go, usually you couldn't get rid of her and she wouldn't stop talking but now it seemed she couldn't wait to escape

"Well thanks for looking after him, it's nice to have a night to ourselves now and again"

"It was no problem, Brooke was great with him"

"I am sure James won't be able to stop talking about it tomorrow when he gets up, he gets so excited" Haley smiled

"He's a great kid, you're really lucky" Brooke said finally looking back at Haley

"Thanks"

"Anyway we should probably go"

"Don't forget your bags" Haley said as she rushed over to them with all Brooke's shopping bags

"Thanks I can't believe I nearly forget them" Brooke said as she held out her hand to take them but Lucas's hand got there first

"Here I'll take them" he said as he took the bags from his best friend, he was expecting Brooke to object, she didn't usually accept it when people did things for her, she liked being independent and doing things for herself she had always been that way but when he looked at her he saw no signs of her objecting.

She was still feeling rather sleepy, she was too tired to argue with him, it was like they just kept going round in circles, for once she didn't seem the point in objecting, if he wanted to carry her bags then she was just going to let him, it wasn't that big a deal anyway.

"I think I might go for a walk and try and wake myself up a bit if that's ok" she said as he slammed the boot shut

"Sure I'll come with you" he said as he blipped the car so it was locked

"You don't have to, really I'll be fine"

"No it's ok, I want to" he jogged to catch up with her

"Can I ask you something?" It had been niggling away at him for so long now and he needed to know, even if he didn't like the answer she gave him

"Sure"

"Why didn't you call me?" he said looking straight into her dark brown eyes

"When? She wanted to pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about, but she knew exactly what he was asking her, the problem was she wasn't sure how to answer him. If only her cell could ring or something could interrupt them so she didn't have to answer, but no, nothing, just them and his unanswered question.

"Oh I don't know, maybe the last four years" He said bitterly, he didn't mean to sound so harsh and instantly wished he hadn't taken that tone with her but he couldn't hide it, it hurt that she hadn't called, she had managed to call Haley, what made her call her and not him, they were meant to be friends after all weren't they?

"I don't want to argue with you Luke" she carried on walking, wanting to get some distance between them but it didn't last long as once again he was right by her side

"I don't want to argue with you either but I need to know, you can't blame me for being angry Brooke, four years and not a single word", she could tell he was hurting but he wasn't the only one, she hadn't meant to hurt anyone, it was more a case of trying to prevent herself from getting hurt like she had been before, how was she meant to know that he would act like this.

"I know I know, I am so sorry, it was just too hard" she said trying to keep her emotion in check

"Too hard for you to manage to pick up a phone or just e-mail me to say hi, just so I knew you were ok" he said in disbelief

"It was too hard Luke, I know you don't understand it ok but please don't hate me" She knew she was awfully close to breaking down, the hurt was creeping into her voice, the tears were beginning to form and she just wanted to run

"I could never hate you I just don't get why", how could he ever hate her, he loved her!!!!

"Maybe one day you will understand but I guess that's not today" she said sadly as she felt a lone tear roll down her left cheek which luckily went unnoticed by him

"I guess not" he said softly

"Here you must be freezing" he said as he slid his jacket off and handed it to her

She stared at the jacket he was holding out to her, part of her wished he didn't do things like that, it was just a reminder of the Scott charm that he had shown on my occasions, he would be such a gentleman, open doors for her, give her his jacket when she was cold, carry her books and bags, walk her to her door, that was part of the reason why she fell in love with him in the first place, he just took such great care of her, and seemed to genuinely care and not want something in return like other guys did. But then he went and spoilt it, how was she ever meant to truly forgive him? Was it even possible?

"No I'm fine" she shook her head, she couldn't let herself be sucked in my him again, she wasn't going to put herself through that all over again, she couldn't take any more

"Well let me know if you are cold ok" he said noticing her hesitation, she was clearly cold, he could tell by the fact that she was shivering but this was probably where the _'Brooke Davis I don't need your help' _attitude kicking in

She lightly nodded although had no intention of taking his jacket, the truth was she was freezing. When she had left the apartment the sun had been shining and it was a gorgeous day but now night had come and there was a chill in the air and she was now regretting leaving the house without a sweater.

"So I was thinking, that is if you're interested but if you're not then I mean that's ok but I just thought….." He couldn't contain a small laugh, "I'm rambling aren't I" she asked noticing the way he was now smiling at her

"Just a little" he smiled

"Ok so what I am trying to say is that I was thinking of going to see Peyton, after the way she was at the airport I just thought that I should probably try and find out what is going on with her you know. I guess I am just wondering if you wanted to come with me" she said hopefully

"I mean I would love to Brooke really"

"but you don't want to………. that's ok, I'll go on my own, ………I mean it's probably for the best anyway" she said as she quickly averted her eyes from his, how could she have been so stupid as to think that he might actually want to come with her, she said she wasn't going to set herself up to be hurt and yet she had put herself out there again, when would she learn that she was just setting herself up to be hurt again.

"No I mean I would have said yes but"

"There's always a _but_ isn't there" She laughed nervously

"I saw Peyton yesterday" he knew it sounded bad but she was bound to find out sometime and it wasn't like there was anything going on between him and Peyton anymore so he didn't have anything to hide

"And you didn't think to tell me!" She exclaimed, how could he have kept this from her? "I mean how was she? Did she say why she was so odd at the airport, I mean there has to be reason, Peyton's not like that….well she wasn't like that before anyway" she corrected herself as she soon realised her mistake, not everyone was like they were 4 years ago, people change, why had she expected her former best friend to be any different

"I just needed to talk to her, I should have told you I know but I was just waiting for the right moment"

"What did she say?" At that moment in time she didn't care about Lucas, Peyton had played such a massive part in her life and she just really wanted to know how her former best friend was and some indication as to how she might react when she went to see her, at least then she could somewhat prepare for what she was facing

"Not much, she was just rather angry you know, but things seem to be ok now"

"Why was she angry, is she mad at me?"

He could hear the worry in her voice "Oh no trust me it was definitely me she was angry with" _'If only she knew'_ he thought to himself

"But why would she be angry with you?" She didn't understand, Peyton loved Lucas, well she used to anyway, why would she be angry with him

"I didn't exactly tell you the whole story about the break-up…….. let's just say it didn't exactly end well"

"Please say you didn't cheat on her" It was one thing that he had cheated on her before but if he had done it to Peyton to then he clearly wasn't the guy she thought he was, maybe after all this time she had wasted four years of her life thinking about a guy who didn't even deserve her. Maybe that's all he was, just a cheat, surely she deserved someone who would treat her properly. She knew deep down though that he wasn't a cheat, not anymore anyway, at least she hoped not. He had done it years ago, but he wasn't the same guy now as he was then, even 4 years ago he was a different guy than the one who she was with on their first date

"NO no, the reason I told you was the truth" he said as he paused realising that he was still not telling her the whole truth even now, he thought about telling her but the truth was he was scared, scared of how she would react, scared of how it would affect them, scared of her rejecting him, and most importantly, scared of her hating him. He just couldn't do it, he knew he should, but he couldn't.

"Then why is she mad?"

"I didn't exactly end it in the best way"

"You've lost me"

"Don't worry about it, I really shouldn't be talking about this with you" he said speeding up and wishing he had never said anything about his break up with Peyton to begin with.

"Oh" the hurt clear in her voice, not only had he gone to see her former best friend and not told her but he couldn't even tell her why Peyton was mad at him, she hated being the outsider, the one that had no idea what was going on, the one who was completely out of the loop and desperate to be back in.

"No it's just that it's private you know" he knew what a jerk he sounded like but he couldn't tell her, not like this, he wasn't ready for her to know about the book yet, the last 24 hours had been so insane he had hardly had a chance to catch his breath, he needed more time

She nodded and tried to hide her disappointment at his failure to confide in her, she knew she had been away for a long time but she thought he would still feel able to talk to her about things, even if it was his relationship with her former best friend, of course it was weird hearing him talk about it but it was just nice to be trusted in and know that he felt close enough to her to tell her what was going on in his life. Maybe she had totally misjudged the whole situation, the previous night she really felt like they had become close again, even if they had only spent a few hours talking, it was like she had never been away, it was just so natural but now it was like he was shutting her out again, maybe it wasn't going to be as easy as she thought, maybe some friendships had been damaged more than she had thought.

"So there's no chance of you and her……" she trailed off, she knew she shouldn't say it but she couldn't stop herself, the words just seemed to roll off her tongue

"Oh no, I think that ship has well and truly sailed" he quickly replied, almost too quickly for her liking, was he just lying to himself and trying to cover up his feelings because he didn't want to hurt her or was he actually telling the truth. She wanted to go with the latter but the truth was she didn't really know him like she used to, she wasn't in a position to know how his mind now worked, not anymore

"Do you mind if we head back" she said as she folded her arms and tried to keep warm

"Sure", he knew she was clearly cold, he could see her shivering but what could he do? She wouldn't accept his jacket, he couldn't force her to wear it, it was like she was almost scared to accept it.

They slowly made their way back to the car in silence, neither knew what to say, but sometimes it was better to just say nothing at all. She stole a quick glance at him, he looked so confused, she didn't mean to be so hot and cold with him but she couldn't help it, one minute she was fine and then he would say or do something and it just set off alarm bells telling her she was getting too close and made her push him away

He could feel her gaze on him, he could tell that she didn't realise he knew she was looking at him, she didn't look at him long but just long enough for him to notice. He just wished she would open up and tell him why she was being like this, then again the last time she truly opened up to him was a very long time ago and after everything that had happened between them it was probably too much to ask for her to trust him completely again, maybe in time she would be able to but it had been 4 years already and it she definitely was not letting him in that was for sure. He wanted to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers, there was a time when she probably would have told him but now she seemed so closed up. He knew he had hurt her but was only just realising the true extent of the damage he had caused to his relationship with her and chance of her giving them another go, he wished he could take it back but he couldn't, it was just something he was going to live with, knowing that he could have blown his shot at true happiness.

* * *

**What did you all think? Please review x x x**


	11. Beginning Of A New Era

**I wasn't sure how to write this chapter so I hope you aren't disappointed when you read it. It's a nice long one though so I hope it does not suck lol.**

* * *

She banged her fist against the door as hard as she could, determined to see her former best friend, if she had to camp out on the front lawn then that's what she would do

"I'm coming I'm coming" she heard her best-friend yell as the door swung open

"Brooke" Peyton said coldly as she looked her up and down

"Hi" she smiled sweetly refusing to let the cold welcome she had received from her former best-friend get to her. Her taste in fashion had certainly not changed but for some reason the blonde seemed darker somehow, she was wearing her trademark leather jacket with a black top and black skirt, but the clothes weren't the only thing that were black, even her make up was black, usually she wouldn't have thought much of it, but the vibe she was getting from her was definitely not a good one to say the least.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was bitter, and she couldn't help but find herself flinching at her friend's tone. There used to be a time when she could come round and she didn't even have to knock and she knew she would always be welcomed. But the way Peyton was looking at her made her heart break, this was what their friendship had been reduced to, evil glares and bitterness, she never thought it would be like this, not after all they had been through together, but she was clearly wrong!

"Well I know you said you would call me and everything at the airport but I figured that if I waited for you to call me then I might be waiting forever so here I am" Brooke smirked, right now appearances were everything, even though she was breaking on the inside about what their friendship had become, she wouldn't let Peyton win, she wasn't going to let her see that her cold and bitterness was affecting her in anyway. If there was one thing she was the master of it was putting on a brave face.

"I was going to call" Peyton said coldly, she tried to make eye contact with her but Peyton simply looked away in the opposite direction

"You always were a terrible liar" she smiled weakly at her own comment

"So do you want to come in?" Peyton asked awkwardly as she stood blocking the doorway

"Sure" she pushed her way past Peyton's arm and marched into the main room leaving Peyton standing rooted to the spot in the doorway in shock. She was not going to be intimidated but Peyton, not now not ever, she knew Peyton was expecting her to decline her invitation to come in, but on the other hand if Peyton really knew her at all she should have known that Brooke Davis did not back down from anyone or anything, so she really shouldn't have been so shocked.

"So what do you want?" Peyton asked as she made her way to the couch clearly still rather shocked at the way she had barged in.

"I want to talk"

"I'm listening" she replied but instead of looking at her as she spoke Brooke noticed that she was in fact looking once more in the opposite direction

"Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?" Peyton replied innocently but she could see a slight smirk emerging on her face telling her that her so called friend knew exactly what she was doing, which only fired her up even more.

"Like a bitch, and don't even try to deny it cos we both know it's true. Look I know we haven't talked in a long time but does it have to be like this?" She wasn't going to sugar-coat it for Peyton, if Peyton expected pity and grovelling then she was wildly mistaken. She had had plenty of experience when it came to dealing with Peyton and she was pretty sure she knew her moods down to a tee, having said that though, that was four years ago, maybe she had changed more than she thought.

"Like what?" Peyton asked in disbelief, "Like we are strangers, because that's what we are Brooke, you're not my friend, I don't know you anymore" Peyton said slowly raising her voice, and getting more worked up by the second

"Please don't say that Peyton, we have been through so much, don't turn your back on our friendship, not now" She didn't want to be seen as desperate but she couldn't help but plead to her former friend, even though it had been a long time, she needed her more than ever.

"Oh you mean like you did, when you left after the summer and we said goodbye…… I had no idea I was actually saying goodbye to our friendship" Peyton chuckled to herself

"You didn't" Brooke said flatly

"Yes I did, you didn't call, you didn't come and visit, you didn't write, it was like you totally erased me from your life. I've lost enough people in my life as it is, I didn't realise I would lose you too" She looked at the fragile girl closely and could see her eyes were watering and the tears were about to fall, she hated seeing her like this but what could she do? It wasn't like she could take back the past 4 years!

"You haven't lost me and I know I should have called and visited, I'm sorry ok" she stepped towards her, she just wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her that everything was going to be ok but as soon as she reached out to her Peyton quickly jerked herself away.

"Is that all you've got to say, no lame excuses why you didn't call, you know I thought you would put up a bit more fight than this, clearly I was wrong about you"

"What do you want me to say Peyton? We both know that whatever I say you are just gonna shoot down, nothing I say will be good enough for you and FYI you didn't call me either so what does that say about you" Peyton was making out that she was the bad one in their friendship when really Peyton had been no better over the last four years and through the years if anyone had let their friendship down it was Peyton, but the blonde would probably have an alternative answer

"You shouldn't have come" Peyton said shaking her head

"You may be ready to turn your back on me but I'm not ready to turn my back on you, so get used to it because I'm not going anywhere" Brooke said defiantly

"Did you seriously expect everything to just be like it was Brooke, you can't just go away and come back and expect everything to be like it was, people change" she gulped, "……… I've changed"

"Yeah and not for the better" she muttered but she knew Peyton had heard her from the glare she was now receiving

"And it's your fault" Peyton bit back as she wiped the few tears which had fallen away with her bare hand

"I get that your angry and I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I have to say it but I really am, but you can't blame me for you being a major bitch Peyton" She knew she was being harsh but sometimes people needed to hear a few home truths and Peyton was definitely one of those people

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black" She laughed dryly

"Seriously Peyton what happened? What made you like this?" She looked at her closely, this was not the girl she once knew, this wasn't the girl that would let her stay over whenever she didn't want to go home because her parents were arguing, this wasn't the girl who helped her come up with countless cheer routines, this was someone else, this wasn't her former best friend, it couldn't be!

"You can't just come in here and ask that ok, we" as she gestured pointed at herself and then Brooke, "are not friends anymore and the sooner you realise that the better"

"Peyton please just let me in, tell me what's going on"

"You wanna know what's going Brooke, I mean what's really going on?" Peyton yelled

"Yeah I do" she yelled back at her

"Well my best-friend disappears and doesn't call for 4 years, my boyfriend dumps me, and then when I finally come back who do I see at the airport, but my former best friend and my ex boyfriend together and that's just the tip of it"

"I had no idea he was going to be there, you have to believe me" She really hadn't known at all and if she had had any idea that he was going to be there then she might not have even come back, especially if she had known what an impact it would have had on her friendship with Peyton, but it was all too late for that now.

"I know Lucas already said" Peyton replied coolly

"Yeah he said he saw you"

"I bet you had such a nice cosy chat about me as well didn't you" Peyton said as she sarcastically clapped her hands together

"Please stop being like this Peyton, and just so you know he didn't tell me what went on between you two ok, all I know is that you didn't break-up well, that's it" She didn't know why it hurt her so much to say that but it did, she understood that it was private but if they were over for good and he trusted her then why couldn't he talk to her about it, what was holding him back?

"Ha" she laughed dryly "That has to be the biggest understatement of the century" she said as she lent against the couch and looked at the brunette

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes briefly before speaking, "Look if you still love him then you should go for it, I know you don't think he does but I'm sure he still loves you too" She couldn't believe the words were leaving her mouth, what the hell was she doing, why was she pushing them back together all over again, it hurt so much seeing them together before, why did she keep setting herself up like this. And now it was too late to take the words back, why couldn't she have just kept her mouth shut for once!

"No I don't think that's going to happen" Brooke looked over at her puzzled, how could she be so sure, she said she was over him in the past and look how that one ended

"Me and Lucas just don't work ok, we never will" Peyton added noting the look on Brooke's face

"But you love him don't you?" She asked the tall blonde, she had to know, if there was still a chance of them getting back together then she needed to know, she couldn't go through the whole dreaded love triangle again, she just couldn't.

"Yeah I do but not in the way I thought I did."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know why I am even telling you this but I guess I got swept away with it all you know. I was lonely, I had lost Jake and Ellie and he was always there, he was always-

"saving you" Brooke finished for her, the problem was she remembered it all too well, and even to the day she didn't understand, he was meant to be with her, so why was he always saving Peyton and coming to her rescue?

"Yeah and I think we just got caught up in it all"

"I'm sorry"

"What for?" Peyton asked rather taken off guard by Brooke's apology

"That it didn't work out, I just really thought you two would go the distance you know, if I had known then……"

"Then what? Then you would never have given him up for me"

"That's not what I was going to say" Brooke said looking down at the floor

"But it's true isn't it" She wasn't sure if Peyton was asking her a question or stating a point, either way, she knew the answer was written all over her face so there was no need to even respond to it

"You really want to know why I didn't call you the last 4 years?" Brooke said as she walked round the coffee table to get nearer to her former friend

"Sure go ahead, I mean our friendship is pretty much at rock bottom as it is so do your worst"

"I didn't call because it hurt" She paused and took a deep breath, the last thing she needed was to get all emotional but at the same time it was hard not to. Just thinking about it hurt let alone actually talking about it. "I was so happy for you really I was, you were smiling and laughing and just so happy, and you and Lucas just seemed to work you know" She couldn't help but feel sadness when thinking back to the past, they were days that she would never get back, and although there had been days when she had been so happy, and days when she had felt on top of the world, the mere thought or mention of Lucas and Peyton just seemed to conjure up so many bad memories and so much hurt that it was almost unbearable.

"I don't get what you are saying" Peyton interrupted failing to notice how close the brunette was to cracking.

"Just let me finish ok" she said as she took yet another deep breath, keeping her emotions in check was proving harder than she had thought as she could already hear the cracks in her voice begin to appear. "Look I was happy for you but at the same time I was sad, seeing you with him made me realise what I didn't have. It hurt ok, it really really hurt, and I know I said I was ok with you and him but I wasn't, I guess I never was. So I figured that it wouldn't hurt so much if I just"

Before she had a chance to finish she was interrupted by the blonde who was now standing a matter of feet in front of her "You cut me off, you didn't call because you thought I was with him, I can't believe this" She yelled, anger clearly getting the better of her

"How was I meant to know you two broke up?" She tried to reason but she knew she was now fighting a losing battle

"Well if you had called them maybe you would have known" Peyton snapped

"Please don't be angry"

"Why not? I mean I just found out that my best-friend not only lied to me when she said she was ok with my relationship but that she didn't call me for the last 4 years all because she thought I was with him. I thought our friendship meant more than that. I mean what happened to hoes over bros huh"

"Our friendship means everything to me Peyton really it does, it was just too hard thinking of you two together"

"So what are you still in love with him or something?" Peyton yelled again

"I….uh….I…?" She stuttered, Peyton had caught her totally off guard and now she was like a rabbit caught in the headlights, no where to run, no where to hide, her best friend was just staring at her, and she couldn't even manage to get her words out, she was totally stumped

"That's what I thought" Peyton said nodding her head as if it was what she had expected

"I don't know how I feel ok, all I know is that every time I saw you together I thought of how it was when I was with him and how much the two of you had hurt me and stabbed me in the back, not once but twice Peyton, do you have any idea how that feels, the first time hurt like hell but the second, you have no idea how much that hurt, but at the same time I missed you, both of you. I just had to get away from all of it" It was too late now, the tears had already begun to trickle down her cheeks

"You could have told me how you felt" Peyton said softly as she saw the broken brunette standing in front of her

"Look what happened when you told me that you had feelings for my boyfriend Peyton, I couldn't do that again, we had only just made up, I wasn't about to risk that all for a boy." She said as she wiped a few tears away but more tears were still rolling down her now rosy cheeks

"Not just any boy though was it, I mean it's Lucas" Peyton sighed "Why did you even break up with him in the first place if you still loved him? I told you I wouldn't say anything about how I felt" she asked a lot more sympathetic than before

"But I knew Peyton, and every time I would see you two together I would get insecure, I didn't want to be like that. And if you and him never tried as a couple then I would have always wondered if he would have been better of with you. I didn't want to go through life like that, wondering if someone else could make him happier, thinking that I was not enough for him. Who was I to stand in the way of love, you deserved to be happy"

"Even if it meant sacrificing your own?" Peyton asked

She slowly nodded, she hadn't wanted to admit it before but that was exactly what she had done, she had given up the love of her life just so he and her best friend could be happy and she could safely say that she was miserable as a result, she had tried to move on, that's what Chase had been about but in the end her thoughts always turned to same person and no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't shake him from her head, nothing worked, it was like he was just stuck there.

"So if it hurt so much then why come back?"

"You remember that night before we left and we said we would all come back in 4 years time?" she asked and watched as Peyton slowly nodded

"Well I was sitting in my office and I was looking through my schedule and I noticed the date and I just remembered that day and what we had all said, and I just realised it was time, time to stop running, time to come home………." She sighed, "………And I missed people"

"Lucas" the blonde's voice said abruptly

"Yeah him,………. you, Nathan, Haley, James" she replied

Brooke looked at Peyton for some kind of reaction, "I was the same" Peyton quietly said, she paused for a few seconds and then continued, "I missed home, I missed going to the music store at weekend, I missed hanging out with my friends." Brooke winced as Peyton spoke as she remember her words a matter of minutes ago as the blonde had told her she was simply a stranger to her now. " I guess wherever you go you can never replace it can you, you can run but the lights will always guide you home" Peyton concluded

"I guess not, it's weird being back though isn't it" Brooke said as she looked around the Sawyer house, it had changed so much since she had last been there, but there was one thing which had stayed the same, the pictures of them together when they were younger were still placed on the mantelpiece, there was one from cheer camp, that summer had been one of their best summers together, both sets of parents had been away and they had been able to do whatever they had wanted, some days that had stayed in bed all day and watched movies and ate tubs of ice-cream, other days she had dragged Peyton down to the mall to check out the boys and spend her allowance on more clothes which she didn't even need, they would end up spending hours there as she had been so intent on spending every last penny and get as much as she possible could. It had been such a great summer and one she would never ever forget, as she looked at the remaining pictures of them together it just made her realise how much she really had missed her, how had she even thought that she could cut her best friend out of her life like that when she had played such a major part in making her who she was today.

"You can say that again" Peyton replied as she looked in the direction of the brunette who was still staring intently at the pictures that were placed carefully on the mantelpiece

"Do you think that maybe we could try and be friends again?" Brooke asked as she turned back to face Peyton

"Maybe" Peyton said weakly, the truth was she really didn't know the answer herself

"I really did miss you Peyton and I dialled your number so many times but each time I put the phone down. I wanted to hear you voice and see how you were doing but at the same time I guess I was scared. I was scared to hear how happy you were and how great things were between you two, I was so miserable and I just thought it was easier to cut myself off, to try and escape it all. You were my best-friend Peyton and I really needed you beside me but you have to understand that I couldn't" She took a deep breath as she realised she had been so caught up in what she had been saying that she had forgot to actually breath, and by now the tears had begun to fall once more down, causing her mascara to run even more as they slowly tricked down her face

"If you still love him then why don't you tell him?" Peyton asked simply

"I told you, I don't know how I feel, I wish I did. I just feel so confused right now. When I am with him I am happy and I get those butterflies in my stomach and all nervous and I just want to be close to him you know. But then I remember how badly he hurt me and I just want to run away as far as I can" She said as she sat down next to her former best-friend

"You have to stop running Brooke" Peyton replied softly as she reassuringly placed her hand over Brooke's.

"I know but it's hard" she said as she felt a lone tear fall

"When have you even backed down from a challenge B Davis" She couldn't help but let out a small smile as she heard the blonde call her by her nickname like she used to, it was a reminder of the good old times when things were so simple and it was the two of them against the world and nothing could get in their way, boy had things changed quickly though!

"Look you have to ask yourself if there is a chance you could let me in again, if there is a chance that you still love him, and if there is then you have to fight for it, you can't give up"

"I missed you so much" Brooke said as she pulled her in for a hug, the tears were now in full flow and her eyes were red and puffy from all the tears she had shed but she didn't care, she didn't care about any of it, none of it mattered

"I missed you too" Peyton replied as she shut her eyes and let the floodgates open and the tears fall down her cheeks.

"You will always be my hoe P. Sawyer" she joked through her tear-filled eyes

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that" Peyton laughed as she looked her friends tear stained cheeks and wiped away the few remaining tears that were falling down them, "And you know you will always be mine too right"

"Of course, I mean how else could we have the Hoes over Bros Reunion Tour without the chief hoe" she smiled brightly

"Didn't we have already have that though?" Peyton asked

"Good point, we'll call it the Hoes over Bros Reunion Tour Number 2 then"

"Uh uh" Peyton said shaking her head, "guess again" Peyton laughed

"OK fine clearly my maths still sucks, so the hoes over bros reunion tour the third, how does that sound?"

"That sounds…" Peyton paused thinking of an appropriate word, "Perfect"

It was the beginning of a new era

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it, I found this chapter probably the hardest to write so far as there were just so many things that I wanted to include in this chapter and I could literally only put half of them in, otherwise it would have taken forever, and I really didn't know how to write Peyton, so I hope I didn't do such a bad job. Anyway please review and let me know what you think x x x**


	12. Something Wrong With This Place

**First of all I just wanted to thank those of you who sent me PM's or were interested in being my beta. I also want to thank Jenna for helping me on this chapter and for agreeing to help me on future chapters. This chapter is a little shorter than I wanted but I guarantee that the next chapter is really long so it will make up for it. I hope you enjoy**

* * *

She slammed the door shut to the apartment and flung her bag onto the table. All she needed was a nice hot cup of coffee and she would be raring to go, talking to Peyton had been extremely draining. There had been anger, tears, the works. They had hugged and held onto each other for so long, neither wanting to break the hold they had on each other, both feeling that if they let go they would lose each other for another four years, if not longer. For the first time since she had arrived back she could actually say she felt safe and that she truly believed everything was going to work out. Haley had been so incredible, particularly over the last four years, but she simply wasn't Peyton, and she was never to going to be able to fill that void left by her, there was just way too much history between the two of them and there would always be that bond between them, no matter where they went or what they did. She missed having her best-friend but at the time it just felt like the right thing to do, she was only trying to protect herself from getting hurt again but in the end she had just ended up hurting anyway.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the ringing coming from her cell, "not even five minutes of peace…" she muttered to herself as she unzipped her bag and rummaged for her phone. Looking at the call display before answering, Brooke saw it was Haley.

"Hey what's up?" Brooke asked as she flicked it open.

"Well the guys took James down to the park, and I thought I would give you a ring and see how you were doing."

"You bored huh?"

"Yeah, there isn't even anything on TV…" Haley said "and besides, I was hoping for some dirt"

"Well you're gonna have to be help me out here tutormom as I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about" She laughed

"On you and Lucas of course, what's going on between you two? And don't tell me nothing because last night was definitely something" Haley said mischievously

"I fell asleep, end of story" She replied innocently

"Yeah on his lap though" Haley countered

"It didn't mean anything ok" She said almost shouting

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it's none of my business, and I was just being nosey, sorry"

"I'm sorry for snapping at you…" Brooke said trailing off quietly.

"I deserved it though" Haley paused, she knew she had pushed her luck, but she really hadn't thought that it would provoke such a strong reaction from Brooke, if it didn't mean anything then why be so reluctant to talk about it. Even though she said it was nothing her voice and tone had said something completely different, but she had to drop it, she knew if she so much as even mentioned it again then she was likely to have the phone put down on her, "So you must have some gossip for me, I mean you are the one and only Brooke Davis after all"

"Actually I don't"

"Come on Brooke, you know more about other people's lives than they probably do" Haley joked

"Not anymore" she replied sadly, "I guess I do have some news though"

"Spill"

"I saw Peyton earlier"

"How did that go?" Haley asked rather intrigued

"Well when I got there I thought I was going to have the door slammed in my face!"

"That bad huh"

"You should have seen her Hales, she was so mad, I can't remember the last time I saw her like that, she told me that we weren't friends anymore and that I was a stranger to her, she was so cold, I just wish I had been prepared for it you know. I knew she wasn't exactly thrilled to see me at the airport but I was hoping that had more to do with the fact that I was with Luke, but clearly I was wrong"

"Don't hate me okay"

"Hales why would I hate you?" she asked worriedly

"I spoke to Peyton"

"What! When?" She tried to contain her voice not wanting to yell at her friend

"Before she came back… I didn't want to tell you she was coming back because I didn't want anything to stop you from coming, and I was really looking forward to seeing you, I missed my Tigger" Haley said sadly, "And anyway you told me not to mention her" Haley added, she knew it was a lame excuse but it as all she had, she had done exactly what Brooke had asked her to, for the last four years they didn't even mention the L or P words, it was meant to help her move on, even though they both knew it wouldn't and hadn't worked. You couldn't just erase people who had played such major roles in your life like that, it just wasn't possible, not for her anyway.

"So you knew she was mad at me?"

"Uh huh" Haley gulped, "I am so sorry Brooke really I am it's just-"

"It' ok" Brooke interrupted

"What?" Haley asked convinced she had heard her wrong.

"It's ok, I'm not mad" She repeated

"Are you sure?" the shock was clear in her voice, she had seen Brooke angry at a lot less significant things than what she had done so hearing her friend say it was 'ok' slightly unnerved her.

"I told you not to mention them and you did what I asked, I can't be mad at you for keeping your word"

"Even though I didn't tell you for selfish reasons?"

"Even then"

"You have no idea how worried I was about telling you, I was going to tell you yesterday but everything just seemed so perfect you know? And we were having such a good time that I didn't want to spoil it"

Brooke's eyes drifted once more to the bare walls surrounding her and the few items of furniture that were placed in the room, "Well if you want to make it up to me then I think I have an idea"

"Yeah? Your ideas don't always turn out so well Brooke" Haley said sceptically

"Hey need I remind you that because of my ideas I am now a top designer"

"Yeah I think your talent might have had something to do with that one" Haley joked

"So are you in or not?"

"Well correct me if I am wrong but didn't we end up in jail once because of you and your crazy ideas"

"That was so no my fault, and anyway you loved being a bad girl" Brooke laughed at her own words

"I'll be round in 10"

"Brooke are you here?" Haley called as she entered the apartment, the door had been wide open when she had arrived and Brooke was currently no where to be seen

"Hales in here" Brooke called out as loud as she could

She walked in the direction the voice was coming from and couldn't help but laugh at the sight in front of her

"A little help here" Brooke said far from amused as she struggled to keep hold of the shelf.

"Brooke what have you done?" Haley shook her head as she tried to control the urge she had to carry on laughing

"Well I tried to put up this shelf but I can't let go cos then it won't be in the right place so I've been stuck like this for the last 5 minutes"

"Why are you even putting up shelves anyway" Haley asked still rather amused

"Look I'll explain later but right now I could really do with your help". She struggled underneath the weight of the shelf as her arms were beginning to ache and were about to give way.

"Here" Haley said picking up the hammer and the nails, "This is a hammer" she said waving it in front of her

"Yeah I know that"

"You see what you do is you put the nail here and you hit it with this, it's really quite simple" Haley said as she banged the nail into place and moved around Brooke to do the other side

"I can't believe I forgot what a smart ass you were" Brooke said as she shook her arms, which were glad to finally be free, she stood back and admired the now perfectly placed shelf

"Ha" Haley mocked, "If it wasn't for me then you would still be standing there"

"Fine but for the record, I totally had it under control". OK so it was a lie but so what!

"Whatever you say, now are you going to tell me why I am here?" Haley paused and looked at her friend's current attire, "And why you are dressed like that" as she finished looking her up and down, her hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and she was dressed in a pair of tight denim shorts and a white tank top, it wasn't the kind of outfit she expected to see Brooke in, especially considering all the money she had and all the fabulous clothes she owned.

"First of all I think I look cute and second I am trying to help Lucas out"

"No offence Brooke but I think if he really wanted a shelf then he could have managed to put one up himself" She knew Brooke was only trying to help and she couldn't help but smile at the sweet gesture and the trouble her friend seemed to have gone to.

"I know that but it's a surprise, look around you Hales, don't you see a problem with this place" She said as she once again looked around at the bare walls and serious lack of furniture

"I guess it is a little empty, but maybe he prefers the minimalist approach" Haley shrugged not sure what the big deal was

"Yeah I don't think so somehow, you wanna know what I think" she said although she was going to tell her anyway if even she didn't want to know

"Please, enlighten me" Haley smirked.

"Ok I'm going to pretend you weren't being sarcastic and tell you anyway. I think that he has spent so little time here that he hasn't even had time to decorate"

"Well I could have told you that"

"I'm not finished" she said making sure she had the blondes attention once more, "I don't think he sees this as a home, it has such an emptiness about it and maybe if there were a few more pictures and personal things around and a bit more furniture then he would begin to see it as a real home and actually spend more time here"

"I don't know Brooke, I mean maybe he is just busy or something, maybe he doesn't want to spend time here" Haley replied still rather reluctant to believe Brooke's explanation

"Maybe but I think my explanation is much better, for a tutormom, you know, you're not that smart"

"Do you want me to help or not" Haley said slapping her friend lightly on the arm as she laughed

"OK fine" She paused as she thought of all the jobs they needed to do, "First of all we are going to need some furniture and other bits and pieces to brighten this place up, so I'm gonna do that" She said as she picked up her bag and put on her blue flip-flops, she may not have been dressed in Versace but at least she would be colour coordinated.

"Why don't I do that? Or better yet, I could come with you."

She hesitated, the truth was she had an image in her head of exactly how she wanted the place to look and although she trusted Haley, they said if you wanted a job done well then its better to do it yourself and that's exactly what she wanted to do, "No offence Hales but I kinda wanted to do this by myself and anyway there is loads more to do so we need to split up just to get this done in time" She reasoned hoping the blonde would understand

"So what should I be doing then?"

"Well we definitely need some pictures to hang up round the room for a personal touch. I'm sure he must have a few stored away so why don't you rummage around for those."

"Sure" Haley said as the brunette opened the door to leave

"Oh I tried to get in that drawer" she said as she looked over in its direction and Haley followed her gaze, "but for some reason it seems as if its locked. There might be pictures in there so we need to find the key."

"OK leave it with me and I see what I can come up with Tigger." Haley smiled.

"I'm counting on you tutormom." Brooke said as she slammed the door behind her.

* * *

**Hope you liked it, please review x x x**


	13. When Did Life Get So Complicated?

**Thanks again to Jenna for all her help and I hope you all enjoy x x x**

* * *

Haley stood looking around the room a lot more closely than she had previously. Only now that Brooke had pointed it out had she actually realised how empty the room really was. There was the standard couch, a few chairs, a table, the TV and a few shelves, which had nothing on them, but other than that it was bare. The walls were painted a pale blue, ironically, it was the perfect colour for the room, _cold, _that was the perfect word to describe the room and the colour on the walls.

At first she wasn't sure why but she felt a tint of sadness creep over her, standing there in her best-friend's apartment, but then it dawned on her that it was in fact the first time she had actually been inside his apartment for longer than 5 minutes, she hadn't helped him move in or unpack, she hadn't been round for dinner. They hadn't hung out like they once used to since he got back, sure she had Nathan and James but why should that mean that her friendship with him had to suffer, it certainly wasn't an excuse. It wasn't like it was one or the other, he was technically family after all. She made her way over to the drawer Brooke had been talking about and tried to open it but sure enough Brooke had been right as it refused to budge

------------

Brooke made her way into yet another furniture store, and so far she hadn't had any luck even though she wasn't looking for all that much. The first couple of stores seemed so cheap and tacky that there was no way she was spending a dime in those places. Besides, if she had it, the items would probably have fallen apart or be riddled with fleas anyway. She wanted Luke's apartment to feel cosy and homey, yet elegant and sophisticated. She wanted it to have a touch of class, but most of all she wanted it to be special.

-----------

As Haley sat in the middle of the floor surrounded by various pictures she had selected from Lucas' collection, she looked over her choices. There had been quite a few from his childhood, typical family pictures of him and Karen, and as to be expected there were plenty of Keith. Even now, five years after Keith's death, it still broke her heart as she admired a picture of the three of them at Christmas. Lucas couldn't have been much older than about five, and they all looked so happy. Haley felt a few tears threaten to fall just thinking about how Keith was ripped away from them. She knew Lucas still missed him, it was evident every time Keith came up in conversation, not that anyone would ever fault him for missing the man who was essentially his father growing up. She hadn't said this to him but she knew he missed the guidance Keith had given him, Keith had always been there for him, no matter what, Lucas could always count on him, he didn't have any other male role models in his life and when he was taken away so suddenly it was like he lost his way, he forgot what was truly important and let go off the things he wanted and needed the most… including Brooke.

Then of course there were the pictures of the two of them together, everything was just so simple when it was just the two best friends. Haley and Lucas against the world they would always say. Except one day it all changed, quite literally over night, and the world they had once known was gone. One thing, however, had remained the same, and that was their friendship and love for each other. People would come into and leave their lives but they always knew that the other would be there when it really mattered. Haley picked up one picture of the two of them in particular, they were only about 8 or 9, and she remembered it like it was yesterday. The two of them had set their hearts on going camping but Karen had been reluctant to take them as she couldn't afford to close the café and risk losing any business, So, as a solution, she had taken her sister's tent that she had used when she had gone camping with the school and between the two of them they had managed to pitch the tent in her back garden. It wasn't the real thing but it felt like it at the time. They had their flashlights and sleeping bags, and had even built a small camp fire with a little help from her dad. They had had so much fun that weekend, even when it had begun to rain it didn't dampen their spirits, it was all part of the adventure after all.

As she continued to search through the pile of photos Haley was surprised that she hadn't found any of Lucas and Brooke. Considering that he had declared his love for the girl in his book, it just didn't make any sense. Of course there were the group pictures in which they were both included but there were none of the two of them together in any of the piles she had sorted through, she had found ones of him and Nathan, a few with James, a dozen or so pictures of him and Peyton but none of Brooke. Not even one of her on her own. In fact, if he didn't have the pictures of her in his bedroom then it would have seemed as though she didn't even exist.

She carefully selected a few that she thought would stir up good memories and put them to the side, then, looking, at the pile of pictures of him and Peyton she picked them up and placed them neatly back in the box. Although Peyton had played a significant role in his life and Haley knew how much she meant to him, Haley felt that considering Brooke was due back anytime it wasn't a good idea to spread reminders of the reason why they had broken up around the apartment and being his best friend she was pretty sure Lucas would not appreciate them displayed everywhere either. There was no use opening old wounds. She packed the remaining pictures back into the box and closed the cupboard, now all she had to do was find the key

-----------

"Do you have this in blue?" Brooke asked the sales assistant who frankly didn't seem to have a clue, she was clearly young, maybe even still in high school, but regardless of that she had to be one of the least helpful sales people Brooke had ever spoken to. The girl seemed to be more concerned with the bleeping coming from her phone than the fact that she had a customer waiting and to say Brooke was becoming slightly irritated by this girl's behaviour and lack of manners was an understatement.

"I don't know" the girl replied glancing up at her for a second before returning back to her magazine.

"Well could you at least go and check?" She asked as she drummed her fingers on the counter.

The girl rolled her eyes and closed her magazine, placing it on the counter.

"What colour did you want again?" The girl asked as she made her way out from behind the counter and headed towards the store room

"God have you even listened to a word I've said, I want this in blue, is that so hard to understand" Brooke snapped, she knew she was being rather harsh but maybe had the girl actually paid a little more attention to her and actually tried listening then she wouldn't have lost her temper so quickly.

"Is this what you were looking for?" The girl asked as she reappeared with a blue rug rolled tightly underneath her arm.

"That's perfect, I'll take it"

"Ok that will be five hundred dollars" the girl announced.

Shocked, Brooke took note of the girls nametag, "Listen, Shelly is it? There must be some sort of mistake, the ones over there are only fifty and they are identical except the colour"

"Well that's what the label says"

"Well the label is wrong"

"I'll have to go and check with the manager" The girl said, although she didn't seem to care in the least at making an attempt to correct the issue, no interest what so ever.

"How long will that take?" she asked rolling her eyes at the incompetence of the girl

"She should get back from her lunch break in an hour or so" She answered as she resumed her reading

"An hour!" She exclaimed, "I am not about to spend anymore time here waiting for a manager who might I add, may or may not even show. Is there anyone else who you could ask?"

"Nope! Just me today" She didn't even glance up, she was probably too busy reading about who had cellulite or who had their boobs done this week, Brooke thought.

"Look," Brooke said, "just ring it up". If it hadn't been for the fact that the rug was perfect, then she would have walked out of the store and gone somewhere else, but she wanted the rug, even if it meant spending way more than the actual price.

"Are you sure?" The girl asked rolling her eyes, clearly put out that she would have to actually do some work.

"Yeah but word of advice, you might want to brush up on your people skills a bit" Brooke smiled sweetly as she handed the girl her credit card.

------------

So far Haley had raided everywhere she could think of searching for this invisible key, obviously whatever was in the drawer Lucas didn't want people seeing and she couldn't help but feel guilty going through all his stuff like this. It was an invasion of privacy and if he wanted to keep some things to himself and hidden away then who were they to question it or go against it? Her head was telling her to give up in her search for the key and that it was probably best left unfound, however she had a funny feeling that Brooke was not going to give up so easily. Brooke had never been one to accept things just not going her way. If she was told not to do something or that it just wasn't meant to be then that simply made her more determined to do it, and the drawer had an air of mystery about it which she knew would only entice Brooke further. Despite the guilt that was quickly filling her body she found herself once more hunting for the key.

-------

Brooke loaded the car up with the numerous bags, she had been right to ask Haley to stay at home as what would have been her seat was currently loaded with bags containing various items. She hadn't meant to buy so much, but Brooke easily found herself justifying the purchases because it wasn't like he didn't need them.

-------

Haley looked at her best-friend's room, "If I were a key, where would I be?" She said quietly to herself. She had looked everywhere and yet nothing, but then something caught her eye, something she hadn't paid much attention to before, she knew it was a long shot but she had run out of options. She made her way over to chest on which a number of pictures were rested on and in particular the image of him and Brooke. She carefully took the back off the frame and sure enough there was the key. It had been in front of her all along, if only she had really thought about it then she would have found it a lot sooner. "Always in the last place you look…" Haley muttered to herself. Quietly laughing at herself realizing the idiocy of that that statement. She placed the back off the frame back on and hurried over to the locked drawer, she knew she shouldn't open it but yet she still found herself inserting the key and twisting it to the left, she wasn't sure what she was going to find but she couldn't stop the rush of adrenaline and suspense as she slowly the pulled the drawer open.

Her eyes bulged and she clasped her hand over her mouth in shock as she viewed the contents of the drawer.

"It all makes sense" Haley muttered as she slowly removed her hand from covering her mouth.

"Hales I'm gonna need your help…" Brooke said as she struggled to get in the door with the massive rug. Somehow, she had managed to carry it up the flights of stairs but not without difficulty. She had been close to dropping it several times and considering the amount she had ended up paying for it, there was now way she letting it get damaged.

"Oh you found the key then" Brooke said as she glanced over at her friend and the open drawer.

"Yeah…" Haley said as she hastily pushed it shut and turned the key making sure it was locked before Brooke could get a chance to see the items in the drawer.

"So… let's see then, what's in there?" Brooke asked with curiosity, making her way over to the drawer.

"Nothing really" Haley managed to sputter out, hoping she wasn't giving Brooke anything to believe she wasn't being honest about the contents of the drawer.

"There must be something, I mean why keep it locked if there is nothing in there?"

"There were just some personal things."

"Like what?" Brooke probed.

"Some things to do with Keith, letters and stuff, nothing that would interest you."

"Aw and there was me expecting something juicy"

"You have no idea" Haley muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing"

"Must just be me then…" Brooke said, "I'm gonna go back to the car then and unload the rest of it and you can have a look at what I bought!" Brooke said with excitement as she bounced out of the door.

Haley could hear Brooke's heels sound as she made her way down the concrete stairs. She quickly made her way back into the bedroom and returned the key to the exact place she had found it, her mind drifting back to what she had found in the drawer. It was like Pandora's box, now it had been opened there was no stopping what was unleashed. She could only be grateful that Brooke had not been able to see the contents of the drawer, as she was pretty sure no one was prepared for that just yet, not Lucas and definitely not Brooke. The repercussions would be huge, that she knew for sure. She was beginning to wish she had never opened the drawer in the first place. That way she could have carried on blissfully unaware, rather than constantly worrying about Brooke finding the key and managing to get in that drawer. Haley could feel the heavy weight of Lucas' 'Pandora's box' resting on her shoulders and she wasn't sure how to remove it. She couldn't talk to Lucas about it that she knew for sure. He may be her best friend but she was pretty sure he wouldn't react well to hearing that she had been snooping through all of his things and going through his private drawer. She certainly couldn't talk about it to Brooke, she was the last person she could mention it to. She hated lying to her friend about what was in the drawer but she could hardly tell her the truth.

**Flashback**

She stared at the contents in shock, there was a neat pile of paper and she instantly recognised the handwriting, it was Brooke's.

_Dear Lucas_

_You probably hate me now and I don't blame you, but you have to know that I love you, I love you so much that it hurts. When you kissed me it was like I went into shock, you have no idea how long I have wanted to feel the touch of your lips again but when it finally happened I freaked, I was so scared. I was scared of the way you made me feel, scared of letting my heart go there again, so I did the only thing I could, I ran. You see when you hurt me last time I said I would never let anyone in again, I would never let myself get hurt like before, the truth is I can't let you back in my heart, because I never let you out in the first place. You have always been in my heart, you were the first guy and only guy I have ever been in love with and that scares the hell out of me. _

It quickly dawned on her that it was one of the many letters she had written the summer before senior year. Part of her wanted to shut the drawer before she found anything else but the curiosity got the better of her and she found herself reading on.

_We were doing so well as friends and I didn't want to ruin it, I didn't want to risk putting myself out there and getting my heart broken, not again. When you touched me I got goose bumps, when I was near you I wanted to kiss you, I am so in love with you it's crazy. But when I found the box of Peyton's things it was like a big fat reality check and it brought me crashing back down. I remember how you had broken my heart, I remembered how you had betrayed me with my best-friend, all the lies, all the hurt and it made me cry to think that the one I love had done that to me. _

_I can't control how I feel though, my heart wants you and I have to follow my heart, I only hope it's not too late._

_Love you and miss you_

_Brooke_

_X X X_

She flicked through the letters in disbelief, Brooke had said there were 82 letters and although she had no reason to doubt that, holding them in her hands, every last one of them shocked her. They weren't short or pointless letters either, they were deep and meaningful, each letter filled with more emotion than the last, her love for him was clear to see in black and white. Once more she found a tear coming to her eye as she read Brooke's words over and over again.

_I can't control how I feel though, my heart wants you and I have to follow my heart, I only hope it's not too late._

Maybe it wasn't too late for them after all, especially if her heart still wanted him then maybe she could manage to give him another chance and follow her heart once more.

Brooke didn't always show how she was feeling but one thing that could never be doubted was that she had a heart of gold. She may act tough at times but inside is a girl who is simply so desperate to be loved and wanted, and whoever she chose to give her love to would be the luckiest guy around. Whoever Brooke would give her heart to would be showered with love, she only hoped that whoever it might be treated her like a princess in return and showed her the love she deserved. If there was one person Haley wanted to see happy and in love again it was Brooke.

She stuffed the letters back in the drawer and looked at the rest of the contents, carefully picking up what looked to be a book of some sort. Haley soon realised it was in fact a photo album and suddenly it all made sense, this was why she couldn't find any pictures of the two of them or any of Brooke on her own. They were all in the drawer, tucked safely away. She flicked her way through the album, in every picture they looked so happy, like they were untouchable.

She slammed the album shut, only half way through, but she had a pretty good idea of what the rest of the album contained. What she couldn't understand was how a love so strong had been broken, they had been so in love and yet in the end it hadn't been enough. She knew Peyton had played a large part in the break-up but didn't hold any animosity towards Peyton, if Brooke could manage to forgive her then why should she have any ill feeling towards her, she was supposed to be her friend after all.

She placed the album back in exactly the same place she had removed it from and moved on to the remaining item in the drawer, it was a dark mahogany box. Gently lifting the lid and staring in confusion at its contents, Haley was unsure what to make of it. A lone red feather… the entire contents of the box was a feather. Why would he keep a feather? Searching her mind to think of why that would be significant, she came up with nothing, complete blanks. Hearing someone approach, she shut the lid and quickly placed the box safely back in the drawer as the clicking of heels became louder as they neared closer to the apartment.

**End of flashback**

"So what do you think?" Brooke asked in her usual bubbly manner as she placed several more bags onto the couch.

"Sorry… What?" Haley asked as she walked to where Brooke was standing.

"About the stuff I bought, what do you think?"

"It's nice"

"Nice? I've spent the last few hours rushing around buying all of this and all you say is nice, this is quality Haley."

"Sorry… It looks really great Brooke" She replied as cheerfully as she could.

"That's more like it." Brooke paused, "What's up with you tutor mom, you've gone all funny on me?"

"It's nothing really" She lied, there was no way she was telling Brooke about what she found but she couldn't stop thinking about it. "So show me what you've got then?" Haley mustered a smile as she tried to push what she had found to the back of her head.

"Well I thought this would look perfect over here" She carried the lamp she had bought over to the corner of the room

"That's great but don't you think it looks rather odd" Haley asked as she stared at the lamp that was resting on the floor

"One step ahead of you Hales, if you go to the car in the back you will see a beautiful mahogany table"

"Mahogany huh"

"Yeah… Why? You don't think he'll like it?" Brooke asked worried, if anyone knew Lucas it was Haley.

"No I am sure he'll love it" It seemed that she just was not going to be able to forget about that stupid drawer. She wished she had never opened it, that Brooke had never mentioned it and then she would never have been in the position she was in now.

It was hard enough lying to Brooke about the book, not that she was keeping it from her for Lucas's sake either, far from it actually. The reason why she hadn't told her was simply that she didn't know if Brooke was ready to hear it, unsure if Brooke could take much more where Lucas was concerned and she really seemed to be trying to move on with her life. Haley didn't want to be the one who sucked her back into this mess that Lucas had created.

"Would you mind bringing it in, it's just I've already nearly fallen on those stairs twice and I really don't want to end up in a cast"

"Sure I could do with the fresh air anyway" She exited the apartment and hurriedly made her way to the car. Just being in the same room as Brooke made her feel guilty, hating to be keeping secrets from her but she was trying to protect her. Despite trying to protect her Haley couldn't help but feel as if she was doing the wrong thing, that maybe it would simply be better for everything to be out in the open. She let out a loud sigh as the fresh air hit her.

"Why is life so complicated?" She muttered to herself, lies upon more lies, and endless stream of secrets, why couldn't it just be like it used to be.

* * *

**Well I hope you all liked it, please review so I can hear what you thought of it x x x**


	14. It's Worth It

**Just wanted to clear one thing up from one of the review I had, Haley did lock the draw back up and put back the key, it's in the chapter but you must have missed it. Anyway here is the next chapter, thanks to Jenna again. I hope you enjoy and thanks for all the great reviews **

* * *

"Sorry I took so long" Haley said as she struggled to carry the small mahogany table through the door, it was deceptively small but and weighed a lot more than one would have expected.

"I was about to send out a search party…" Brooke sighed in relief at the sight of her friend as she gently placed the small table in the corner where Brooke had wanted it

"I love the rug… it's very… you." Haley said admiring the rug that was now rolled out in the middle of the room.

"Well this place needed a touch of class." Brooke smirked feeling rather proud of herself because of her find.

"How much did it cost anyway?" Haley asked curiously.

"Oh not much… I saw you found some pictures…" Brooke said quickly changing the subject.

"Brooke how much was the rug?" Haley asked sternly, Brooke couldn't have been more obvious if she had tried.

"50" Brooke answered, wishing she had been more discrete when changing the subject.

"That's not bad"

"With another 0 on the end of that" Brooke muttered, as she attempted to smile at Haley, instantly feeling her Haley's eyes widen as her words reached the girls ears.

"You paid five hundred dollars for a rug!" Haley exclaimed, she couldn't even begin to imagine spending that kind of money on an item of furniture, let along a rug.

"It wasn't my fault!" Brooke cried out. "It was the stupid sales girl, she had the wrong price and wouldn't change it to the correct one without talking to her manager and her manager wasn't going to be back for at least an hour. I just couldn't wait that long…" Brooke took a deep breath after rambling out a very shortened version of the story. She wanted to be able to excuse her purchase but she knew Haley was right, it was extravagant and she probably should have left it, but it was just so soft, so perfect, and she just had to have it. It made the room complete, she couldn't leave it and she didn't want to wait or have to go back.

"So you bought it anyway? Despite that you were over paying by $450.00?" Haley cried in disbelief.

"It's only money, Hales…" Brooke offered her a weak smile but that quickly vanished seeing the look of shock and total disbelief that still remained on Haley's face.

"Well it's a good thing you have a lot of it then… do you have any idea what you could have done with that money? That's just so wasteful!" Haley always was the practical one. She would never throw money away like Brooke had.

"You have to admit that it's a nice rug though, I mean, you can't exactly argue with me on that…" Brooke said attempting to move off the subject of money.

"Yeah but still 500 hundred dollars is a lot Brooke…"

"Just feel it… You'll understand why I couldn't leave it." Brooke said as she sat on the rug and gently patted it gesturing for Haley to join her.

"I really don't think that will-" Haley began as she too took a seat on the rug, "Wow that really is soft" She said as her hand rubbed across the smooth surface of the rug.

"Told ya so…" Brooke said smugly.

"So what else did you buy, please tell me you didn't pay ridiculous amounts of money for everything in those bags…" Haley laughed but she wouldn't put anything past Brooke when it came to shopping.

"I got these" Brooke said as she got up and reached into one of the bags

"Candles" Haley deadpanned. She was rather unimpressed, not that she didn't like them, more that she really didn't think Lucas would. The only time she had ever seen Lucas and candles together was when Brooke had planned a romantic night in and had made her leave the apartment. Obviously she didn't complain, all it meant was that she had an excuse to spend more time with Nathan and try to get back to how they once were.

"Yeah, aren't they great!" Brooke said excitedly, not noticing the scepticism in her friend's voice.

"I'm not really sure Lucas is into the whole candle thing." Haley said honestly as she watched the brunette continue to bounce around the room.

"He will be when I'm through with him" a satisfied smirk emerging on her face.

"I really worry about you sometimes Tigger…" Haley said shaking her head but she couldn't help but laugh at her friend. Haley wasn't even going to try to begin to understand Brooke at times but that of course was part of Brooke's charm. She had always been unpredictable and a little crazy at times, but she was so infectious, her smile, her laugh, her bubbly personality and everything else about her. She just wouldn't be Brooke if she weren't all those things.

"See they look great and they will look even better when the lights are off and there is nothing but candlelight… It will be so romantic…" Brooke swooned as she placed the last of the candles down and put her hands together as she admired her handiwork.

"The question is though, are you making it romantic for Lucas and any future girlfriends he may have or are you making it romantic for you and Lucas?" Haley asked bluntly.

"Haley James Scott you did not just ask me that!" Brooke couldn't believe what she was hearing and just stared in shock at her bluntness.

"I'm sorry Brooke but I have to ask, do you still love him?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Brooke cried staring at the ceiling, first Peyton and now Haley, who was next? Nathan?

"Maybe because you do love him and you're just too scared to admit it…" Haley spoke gently so as not to upset her friend further. It was blindingly obvious she still loved him to everyone except Lucas and Brooke herself. She only wished Brooke would just be honest with herself and stop trying to control her heart, the heart wants what it wants, you can't fight it, Brooke just had to accept that.

"How about you just drop it ok?" Brooke said calmly, she didn't want to argue with Haley but if she continued to pressure her like this then it was only a matter of time before she lost her temper with her. Why couldn't people just leave her alone? It was her life after all, not theirs!

"Fine but it's not going to go away" Haley said knowingly

"Where do you think is better?" Brooke asked as she moved quickly across the room, to avoid the look Haley was now giving her, and placed a picture frame containing a picture taken of all of them at Rachel's cabin on one of the existing shelves "here?" She then moved the picture slightly over to the right, "Or here?"

"There's perfect" Haley said although she wasn't exactly paying attention, she knew Brooke was trying to avoid the subject, and she wasn't exactly doing a good job of keeping it discreet either. Haley could see right through what her friend was doing, but decided against saying anything and left the topic at bay for the time being. Whenever Brooke was trying to avoid something she would throw herself into her work, or in this case, decorating. The same thing had happened when she had broken up with Lucas the second time, Brooke had thrown herself into her clothing line so she didn't have time to think about him, so she didn't have time to cry, but really it was just delaying the inevitable. She was hurting, that was a fact, and even if she had managed to put her feelings and hurt aside for a while, in the end it all caught up with her, it always did. She could run but she certainly couldn't hide, especially from herself.

"Maybe we should take a break…" Lucas suggested, rather out of breath.

"Why can't you keep up old man?" Nathan asked as he took a sip from his bottle of water and laughed at his brother's lack of fitness. It wasn't as if it was something Lucas could control, he had to take his medication and one of the side effects was that it would slow him down, and at the end of the day he would rather his brother be out of breath than lying dead on the floor from not taking his medication. Of course he teased his brother, made fun of his speed, or lack there of, but it was what brothers did, there was nothing malicious in his words, it was just a harmless joke and he knew his brother understood that, otherwise he wouldn't continue to do it.

"I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about. And we're the same age little brother… don't you forget that…" Lucas replied laughing slightly, as he took a seat next to his brother and grabbed his water

"No offence Luke, but you're the one with a heart condition… and you're still older than me…" Nathan chuckled. Why would his brother be worried about him, it made absolutely no sense.

"Yeah and you're the one who has only just learnt how to put pressure on his knee" he countered. "You know, Haley's worried about you" Lucas continued when his brother didn't reply

"Well she shouldn't be," Nathan said as his eyes remained focused on his son who was busy trying to get the ball up high enough to reach the hoop but so far with little success.

"I'm sure that will stop her worrying," Lucas said rolling his eyes at his brother's failure to understand how worried his wife was.

"What do you expect me to say?" Nathan replied angrily but was quick to lower his voice when James's eyes turned to face them

"We just want you to take it easy, not work yourself so hard…" Lucas said calmly. Everyone who knew him knew Nathan had a tendency to push himself too hard, but this time it was serious, if he wasn't careful then he could end up damaging his knee even further and it could result in him being unable to play every again. He knew what it was like to have a condition that kept him away from the game he loved, but Nathan still had a chance to play the game, he just needed to let his knee heal first.

"What is this, an intervention?" Nathan asked, laughing at his own joke. Seriously, who did Lucas think he was? This was the same guy who continued to play with a life threatening heart condition, and here he was lecturing him and telling him to take it easy. What was more laughable was his brother's failure to realise his own hypocrisy.

"No we just want you to be careful."

"Playing ball with my son is hardly over doing it Luke…"

"Dad look at me!" James called as the ball hit the rim of the hoop moving both brothers' attention back to the young boy

"That's my boy!" Nathan said as he clapped for the youngster.

"Now if you're done with your little intervention Luke, I'm going to play some ball with my son." Nathan said rising from his seat on the bench.

Lucas could only watch on at the father and son team, part of him was jealous, but mostly he was just worried, worried that Nathan was risking far more than he could possibly realise. If he only could stop for five seconds to think about what he was doing then he too would be able to see that. This wasn't just about basketball, this was about his future.

"That's the last of it" Brooke said as she finished placing the last few ornaments and trinkets around the room.

Haley sighed, exhaustion taking over as she collapsed onto the couch. They had worked solidly for the last few hours and it was finally done. "Remind why we did this again?"

"Because, Lucas is your best-friend and you love him" Brooke replied simply and cheerfully, still full of energy compared to that of the blonde that was now laying across the sofa.

"Oh yeah and you just plain love him…" Haley joked light-heartedly as she stared at the ceiling.

Brooke gave her a knowing look, "I thought you said you would drop it Hales…"

"No you just told me to drop it, I never actually said I would." Haley replied not bothering to look back at the brunette as she knew the look she would receive.

"I don't want to argue with you tutormom…" Brooke warned.

"Then don't!" Haley replied as simply as Brooke had before. "Look, if you don't want to be honest with me then fine, but at least be honest with yourself, you owe yourself at least that much." Haley said as she shifted on the couch, swinging her legs round and pulling herself up so she was now facing the brunette.

Haley's remark was met with silence, total and utter silence, a pin drop could be heard it was that quiet. Neither knew what to say. Both were scared, but for completely different reasons.

"I'm done talking about me, let's talk about you for a while" Brooke said suddenly breaking the silence. The last thing Brooke wanted was to admit her true feelings to herself. That was just not a path she was prepared to take.

"Is Brooke Davis turning down a chance to talk about herself?" Haley said raising her eyebrow

"People change…" Brooke shrugged and replied coolly

"Yeah people do…" Haley paused, "You don't." It was really that simple. Brooke Davis was and always would be Brooke Davis. Although her partying ways from years ago may have disappeared, Brooke was still Brooke and that would never change.

"Well it's good to know how you feel…" Brooke grumbled making her way to the kitchen, she reached up to one of the cupboards and removed a glass, which she then slammed onto the counter. She made her way to the fridge and after removing a carton of orange juice she then slammed the door shut.

"Are you mad at me?" Haley asked as she heard bangs coming from the kitchen. Rethinking what she had said. Maybe she had just pushed things too far for one day. Haley never did know when to let a subject rest for a while.

"I'm not mad." Brooke said through gritted teeth as she began to pour the juice into her glass.

"Well then maybe you could go easy in there, you don't want to break something…"

"You're supposed to be my friend Haley!" Brooke was upset and letting her feelings be known, after all, that's what Haley had just been lecturing her about right? That she was hiding her feelings. "I thought you knew me and after all we have been through you think I am the same party girl that I was 6 years ago, I don't understand-"

"Brooke!" Haley cut her off, "That's not what I meant and you know it… what I was trying to say was that deep down you will always be the same person-"

"Yeah a party girl and a slut" Brooke angrily interrupted from the kitchen. She knew she was over reacting, but she couldn't help herself. Why couldn't Haley ever leave well enough alone?

"NO" Haley cried, "Would you let me get a word in? Finish what I'm saying? Please?" Haley shouted making sure the brunette had heard her, "Deep down Brooke you will always have a good heart, that will never change. You have a toughness that not many people have, some would kill for that, you would do anything for your friends, and even when you say you don't care, we all know you do." Haley sighed, "that is what I meant, that and…" Haley trailed off slightly, trying to find exactly the right words, "…you will always be the crazy unpredictable girl we all love"

"I'm not tough…" Haley heard her mutter from the kitchen, "Not by choice anyway" Brooke said emerging from the kitchen with glass in hand.

Brooke made her way to the couch and sat next to her friend, Haley gently placed her hand on Brooke's knee, "Sometimes things happen, and although they don't make sense at the time and they hurt like hell, it is how you deal with them that matters." Haley said gently placing her fingers underneath her chin and pushing it up so the brunette was now facing her and looking into her eyes. "That's what makes you tough" Haley said as she stared into the hurt brunette eyes

Brooke smiled weakly at her friend's words. "Speaking of being tough, how is Nate doing?" Brooke asked as she swept a few strands of hair that had fallen onto her face behind her ears. For the first time that day, successfully changing the subject without Haley noticing to call her on it.

"He has good and bad days…" Haley replied honestly.

"I should have come back earlier…" Broke sighed, wishing she could have been there more for her friends. "…I could have helped" she said looking down at the coffee table. She had wanted to come back, she really had, but she just couldn't, the thought of coming home terrified her and the last thing Haley needed was to have her problems dumped on her too.

"There was nothing you could have done anyway" Haley shrugged

"I could have helped out with James though, given you two some alone time" Brooke said winking at her friend.

"I see some things will never change," She said referring to the way Brooke's mind had a habit of turning something innocent into something about sex. "To be honest, its been James that has probably kept him sane since it happened. Nathan was stuck in bed for a week and you know what he is like".

"He's pushing himself huh?"

"Yeah like you wouldn't believe…"

"He never could sit still, even when we were kids. I remember when he broke his arm, the doctors told him when he could start playing again-

"And let me guess, he ignored them" Haley interrupted

Brooke nodded.

"I just wish he would slow down, I mean he's not as bad as he was, he can walk now at least but he has a long way to go you know." Haley sighed, "I'm actually glad Luke went with him today. He's been pushing himself so hard and James loves to play, but you know Nathan, he just doesn't know when to stop. At least Luke can keep an eye on him."

"How are you dealing with it all?"

"Me? Oh I'm fine" Haley said wrapping her arms around herself as if she was cold. She didn't know how else to answer that. In reality, Haley wasn't fine, far from it, but it wasn't the time to let herself be anything but that, she had Nathan and James to think about.

"Hales, the truth." Brooke demanded. Haley always was a terrible liar, she could tell just by looking at her that she as bottling things up, she was all tense, her arms tight around her, her eyes firmly on her dark denim jeans.

She bit her tongue, Brooke was not one to go on about the truth, she wasn't exactly being honest about how she was feeling, but for the mean time she was going to let that one go, things were complicated enough without adding fuel to the fire, "I've been coping… It's just that Nathan's been getting so frustrated not being able to do what he usually does and sometimes the frustration boils over, you know?"

"He doesn't hit you does he?" Brooke asked shocked, she knew Nathan wasn't like that, well she didn't think he was anyway.

"NO, NO, nothing like that, he just gets really irritable. And I don't want James to see his father like that, I don't think Nathan wants him to see him like that either. He somehow feels like less of a man, and I've told him how much we love him but sometimes it just isn't enough. He is just so hard on himself and that makes me feel bad you know… I just want to see him happy". Brooke looked at her friend sympathetically, Haley always seemed to put others first and herself second, everyone was busy worrying about Nathan and here his wife was, close to tears. Obviously Nathan needed support, but he wasn't the only one, his wife was struggling and seemed too scared to admit it or dare say it out loud, it was as if she was scared of being a bad wife or a bad mother and she wanted the world to think she could cope.

"Now look at me, I mean what have I got to cry about?" Haley attempted to joke through the tears that were now falling.

"Here…" Brooke said passing the tissue box over to her "…It's ok to cry you know".

"I know, but I shouldn't, I have a husband who loves me, an amazing son, a beautiful home… I don't have a right to cry." Brooke pulled her into a hug and wrapped her arms tightly around the petite blonde.

"You have just as much right to cry as anyone else." Brooke said as she gently patted her on the back for support

"But I don't" Haley muttered.

"Look" Brooke said as she broke the embrace and looked deep into her friend's tear-filled eyes "I never used to cry, I always thought it was… I guess a sign of weakness" She said trying to find the right words to explain herself.

"That's not helping" Haley said trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall

"That's' how I used to be, but then I realised that it's ok to cry, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not weak, it just shows you care"

"Thanks Tigger." Haley said as she dabbed away at her tear stained cheeks

"Next time you get upset though promise to call me okay, I'm here for you but you need to let me in" Haley nodded.

"I missed this" Haley said motioning her hand between the two of them.

"I know me too."

"You're not going to disappear on me again anytime soon are you?" Haley pouted, almost hoping that Brooke would take one look at her face and feel she had to stay, she knew it was a long shot but it was worth a go.

"I have to go back at some point" Brooke said sadly, the truth was that the last few days had all blurred into one, she was only meant to be staying for a week or so but she strangely found herself not wanting to go back. She hadn't even checked in with her assistant which she knew she should have probably done by now, but it was almost that if she did then she would feel obliged to go back. Christina was probably having some sort of nervous breakdown at her failure to contact her. She knew it wasn't fair to leave her assistant high and dry but for a few days she just wanted to get forget about work, forget about New York, forget about the last four years. Her life in New York seemed a million miles away, fancy dinners, back to back meetings, lavish award ceremony's and fashion shows, but there was one thing it wasn't… it wasn't home.

"I know but I don't want you to, I'm gonna miss my Tigger." It had been bad enough when she had left the first time, she couldn't say goodbye to her all over again and besides, James was just getting used to have his auntie Brooke around, she couldn't just leave.

"We'll talk though" She knew it wasn't enough though, their friendship had been strong enough to last the past four years but anymore was simply pushing it, and deep down Brook felt they both knew that

"It's not the same, who's going to give me a hug when I'm sad and who am I going to talk about this stuff to?" Haley said as she rested her head on Brooke's right shoulder.

"Uh I don't know, maybe your husband, then there's Lucas… or Peyton. Hales you have so many people there for you, you don't even realise it"

"None of them are you though, I mean I can't talk about Nathan to Nathan you know?" Haley mumbled.

"Maybe you should…"

"Uh no… I can't see that one working" Haley laughed lightly but soon stopped when she realised the brunette was actually being serious.

"He's your husband Haley, and he'll understand, just talk to him…" Brooke paused "…who knows, it might just work" hopeful she could get her friend to listen. She wasn't worried about Nathan and Haley, there was no need to, not when she had seen firsthand how much they loved each other. No matter what obstacles they encountered she knew they would be able to overcome them, because their love was so strong and such a formidable force that she simply couldn't see anything getting it it's way.

There were times when Brooke thought about giving up on love, it seemed so complicated, why go through it all only to end up nursing a broken heart when it crashed and burned. Was it seriously worth all the hassle? But now she knew the answer to that question. So simple really. It was worth it, if one day she could even have half the happiness and love that Nathan and Haley had she would take it, no questions asked. All she really wanted was to be happy and have someone to love her.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think and review x x x**


	15. Pushing The Boundaries

**Thank you for the reviews everyone, thanks to Jenna aswell for really helping me out on this one, I owe you one. Hopefully you will enjoy it**

* * *

"Ok let's talk about something else, no more tears." Haley said as she wiped the last remaining tear that was running down her cheek away with her hand, if they weren't going to have much time together then they were certainly not about to waste it crying.

"Like what?"

"How about your little chat with Peyton?" Haley replied as she swung her body so she was now facing the brunette and crossed her legs as she waited for Brooke's response.

Haley watched as Brooke shifted uneasily in her seat at the mere mention of Peyton, the brunette's body tensed up and a look of confusion emerged across Brooke's face. She knew it was hard for Brooke to open up, especially when it came to Lucas or Peyton. She only hoped the pain and uneasiness that her felt would ease with time.

"Look we can talk about something else if you want" Haley suggested, the last thing she wanted to do was make Brooke feel uncomfortable; they were supposed to be enjoying themselves after all.

"No, don't worry. It all just feels so weird…" Brooke said as she gently ran her thumb around the rim of her glass.

"What does?" Haley asked not quite sure what Brooke meant.

"I mean talking about Peyton… y'know?" Brooke noted the confused look consuming Haley and continued, "I mean it's always been me and her, we shared everything… sometimes literally. Peyton and I… well we're like you and Luke. Except with out all the drama…" she said looking down to avoid Haley's gaze as she finished her sentence. Brooke didn't want to look up and see the look of pity she was expecting to be on her friend's face, she had been on the receiving end of that look all to many times, and wasn't about to see it again.

Flashback

The clang of the door shutting sounded and all the girls turned to see who had entered the gym.

"Girls why aren't you stretching?" Brooke asked, her hair back in a tight pony as usually for practice and carried her bag on her shoulder. She had spent the last 10 minutes in the bathroom reapplying her make-up, the last thing she wanted was for everyone to see that she had been crying, especially Lucas or Peyton.

"Brooke I'm sorry to hear about you and Lucas" Bevin ran up to her and put her arm round the brunette's back sympathetically.

"What about me and Lucas?" Brooke asked defensively, she was in no way prepared for people to know about the break up yet, she herself had not even managed to get her head around it. Glancing at Bevin she saw pity, not the sympathy Bevin was actually portraying. Blind to the difference, all Brook saw was pity.

"The break-up"

"How do you know?" Brooke asked unnerved.

"So it's true then." Teresa marched up to join Brooke and Bevin, she had clearly been listening in but there was no surprise there.

"Skills told me" Bevin admitted honestly, sympathy still shining through.

Brooke surveyed her squad, all eyes were still firmly on her, some of shock, but mostly of pity, or at least that's the only way she could see it at the present.

"Girls back to work" Brooke shouted, right now she needed to be strong, she couldn't let this affect her, not in front of the girls anyway, she couldn't show any signs of weakness, the last thing she needed was for the entire school to be talking about what a blubbering mess she was since the split. No, she would certainly NOT allow anyone to pity her. She didn't need it and most certainly didn't want it.

End Flashback

"Is there any chance of you two…? I don't know, patching things up?" Haley asked snapping Brooke out of her daze.

"I think we already have" Brooke replied not entirely sure of herself.

"But you said that-" A slightly confused Haley started to say.

"Oh no that was when I got there, by the time I had to go we were talking and I think we might just be ok…" Brooke cut in realising Haley's confusion.

"That's good but why … Shouldn't you be happy?" Haley asked rather surprised to see her now looking so down, surely it was a good thing they were rebuilding their friendship, wasn't it?

"I am it's just that…we drifted apart so easily you know? I'm just scared it's going to happen again." It had been bothering her ever since she left Peyton's earlier on, in the short term everything looked as if it was going to be ok, but in the long term Brooke just wasn't so sure. Maybe if they were less distance between them then they stood a chance, but her life was in New York now, and Peyton's in L.A, they couldn't change it, it was just the way it was.

"Wasn't the main reason you drifted apart because you wanted nothing to do with her or Lucas though?" Haley asked as she remembered the telephone conversation she had had with Brooke shortly after Brooke had arrived in New York.

"It wasn't that I wanted nothing to do with them, more that it was just too hard" Brooke said sadly, she hated talking about the past, it always seemed to make her sad, remembering all the hurt and more importantly what she had lost!

"So what's the problem, I mean Lucas and Peyton aren't even together so what's keeping you apart now?"

"I know why I didn't call her… but she didn't call me either." Peyton knew the reason as to why her and Brooke were no longer connected at the time, but if that reason was no longer valid, then why wouldn't Peyton have called her? It made no sense.

"And you don't know why?"

"And it's killing me" she let out a loud sigh, tears threatening at the rims of her eyes.

"Look if I tell you this then you have to promise not to be angry."Haley gulped prior to continuing on, she knew she had to tell her, she couldn't let this hold her friendship with Peyton back and have this cloud hanging over her. "Peyton didn't call because I told her not to…" Haley bit her lip worried about how the brunette would react to the news, but she didn't have to wait long as Brooke soon found her voice.

"You did what!" She said almost throwing her drink down herself in shock, over the past four years she had come up with numerous possible reasons as to why Peyton hadn't called but this was certainly not one of them. Why would Haley do that? She was meant to be her friend, knowing how much her and Peyton had been through. Why would she tell Peyton that and not feel the need to share that information with the one person who should have been told from the beginning?

"I told her that you wanted a fresh start and that you were going to call everyone once you were settled but you didn't want anyone to call as it would make you want to come home."

Angry tears starting to fall, Brooke had to know, "But why? "Why would you do that?" She was trying to keep her cool but it was proving rather difficult, the past four years she had spent worrying and thinking that Peyton didn't care in the least and all along Haley knew the truth.

"I thought I was helping… you were on the phone crying and I just thought I was doing you a favour, I thought it might make things easier on you" Haley said, tears of regret now spilling down her cheeks, as she stood up and tried to lessen the distance between her and the brunette but as she stepped forwards Brooke simply stepped back maintaining the distance between them. Currently Brooke was finding it extremely hard to even look at her friend, all the phone calls they had had and Haley hadn't thought to mention this, she had had countless opportunities and yet nothing.

"How? I spent the last four years thinking my best friend hated me. Four years that I can't get back" Brooke said throwing her arms down by her sides.

"Well how do you think she felt?" Haley countered harshly, instantly regretting her words, knowing she'd just overstepped a very fine line.

Haley slowly reclaimed her seat on the couch as Brooke placed herself on the chair furthest away, neither girl said a word after Haley's remark, both trying to digest what was just said. Haley had been pushing it with Brooke about her and Lucas as it was and her latest comment had only riled Brooke even more. She hadn't meant to anger or upset her, far from it, she had tried protecting Brooke from more hurt but she should have realised that Brooke would not respond well to any interference, even if the intentions were good.

Brooke folded her arms and pouted, in a way hoping for an apology of some sort, but part of her realised it wasn't just the blonde who had been in the wrong. Although she hated to admit,

Haley had a point. She had been so concerned with protecting herself or leaving herself even remotely open to any more hurt, that in the process she had ended up being the one doing the hurting. The truth was that even if Haley hadn't told Peyton what she had the relationship between the two wouldn't have been any better off. Brooke knew that if Peyton had called then she probably would have just ended up brushing her off and making lame excuses or simply let her assistant deal with it, anything to avoid talking to her.

"Anything else you've been keeping from me?" Brooke asked softly, she was still mad, if she backed down then it would be admitting that she was wrong and maybe she was to a degree but that didn't change the fact that Haley had lied and gone behind her back.

Haley bit her tongue, here was the perfect opportunity to tell her everything, get it all out in the open, no more secrets. Ever since Lucas's book had been released it was like she had had a thick dark cloud over her head and no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get rid of it. It was constantly hanging over her, everywhere she went. She didn't want to lie to Brooke, part of her had secretly hoped Brooke would read the book, but no such luck, maybe it was for the best though. In all honesty she wasn't sure if Brooke was ready for the book, and more importantly she wasn't sure if her heart could take it.

"What happened to my apartment?"

Both girls spun around in the direction the familiar voice had come from seeing a shocked Lucas standing in the doorway with his jaw practically resting on the floor.

"Do you like it?" Brooke asked anxiously as she leapt out of chair and skipped to his side in a matter of seconds.

Haley stood up and made her way over to them, maybe Brooke was simply not meant to know, every time she had had an opportunity to tell her something came up. Maybe it was a sign that it was better left unknown.

"I love it but how-" He stared in amazement at the apartment, it was like he had stepped into someone else's home, the walls were decorated with pictures, there was now a mirror in the middle of the main wall, the couch and chairs had cushions, everything had changed. It had changed for the better but it was just a lot to take in.

"Me and tutor-mom here had some spare time…" She shrugged nonchalantly, pretending that it was no big deal.

"You did all of this?" His eyes travelling around the room once more as he tried taking it all in. It seemed so surreal, here he was standing in an apartment he didn't even recognise with the one and only Brooke Davis standing beside him, he wasn't sure which of two he was more shocked at.

"Yep" She replied. She wasn't sure why she had gone to all the trouble. Here was a guy who had gone off with her best-friend twice and yet she found herself not being able to stay away from him. She had this overwhelming need to please him and see him happy. After everything they had been through there was one thing she wanted, it was so simple, she just wanted him to be happy. That's all she had ever wanted, it was the main reason she had let him go all that time ago. She didn't want a medal or any recognition or anything like that for what she had done, she set him free, she let him go simply because she wanted to see him happy and she didn't believe that it was meant to happen with her. Yes she had ended it to prevent herself from being hurt once more but letting him go was probably the hardest thing she had ever done. She could live without her parents, she had done that most of her life anyway, she could live without her money, but living without him, that was on a completely different level. She could have tried hanging onto him, she loved him after all, but she didn't know if it was enough, he had to find his own way and if that led him to her then they would cross that bridge when they came to it but if he found happiness with someone else then it was just something she would have to deal with.

"It was mostly Brooke, I just helped…" Haley said breaking her silence, "I'm guessing Nathan and James will be back so I should probably go" She attempted to look at Brooke but the brunette carefully avoided her gaze.

"Can't you stay a bit longer? I've hardly seen you…" Lucas asked unaware of the tension between the two girls.

"Unfortunately no, James will be wanting his dinner but we'll hang out soon. Promise."

"I'll hold you to that" He wished he had seen more of his best-friend and he wasn't sure who exactly was to blame for the lack of contact. Recently it seemed they had drifted apart, he wasn't even sure when it started to happen, but here he was looking at his best-friend trying to remember when she changed her hair. He knew it was stupid and nothing of real importance but they had always had this closeness, they were able to talk about anything and everything with each other and they would notice subtle little changes about each other. Maybe it was partly Haley's fault, she had had a lot on over the last few months especially, she still did, but for some reason he blamed himself more. They hadn't actually been like they used to be since his book came out, Haley had made her feelings very clear about how she felt about the book but it wasn't as if he could just change it at the last minute because his best-friend wasn't comfortable with it. There was no a bad word said about her either, he thought she would have been pleased but it all came down to a certain brunette who was currently standing beside him. She obviously was unaware of the rift that the book had caused and he wanted to keep it that way. Haley didn't like the lies, the deceit as she put it, she didn't like the position he had put her in. He didn't realise a book could was capable of causing so much harm, it had only started out as a simple hobby after all.

"See you Luke!" She said as she swung her pale green bag over her shoulder, "See you Brooke!"

They both watched the blonde leave and Lucas soon turned his attention back to Brooke.

"This place is amazing you know" He looked deep into her eyes, he wasn't sure what he was searching for in her deep dark brown eyes but he found himself becoming lost in them, and unable to shift his gaze. He was searching for answers to unasked questions and if time would allow it he would stay in the moment forever.

"Yeah I know… but it's nice to hear you say it." She smiled softly but feeling slightly uneasy at the way he was staring so intensely.

"OK I have to ask though, what is with all the candles?" He said breaking the stare and trying to lighten the mood as he became aware she was looking slightly uncomfortable

"Stay there" Brooke said as she made her way over to the window and pulled the blinds so they were letting in a minimal amount of light.

"I didn't realise we were playing hide and seek" Lucas joked as his apartment was plunged into darkness.

"Haha, now you better not have moved" Her bubbly voice could be heard through the darkness

"No still here" Lucas said as he could hear her rummaging somewhere although due to the lack of light he was having problems seeing where exactly she was.

"Now what do you think?" Brooke asked as a flame emerged, the light from the flame shone on her face and framed it so beautifully, she was stunning, and he was mesmerised by her beauty, even if they were still partly in darkness. Light then spread across the room as Brooke moved and lit the remaining candles

"You always did have a thing for candles didn't you" He remarked as he took in his new surroundings.

"Don't you think it is romantic?" Brooke asked in her raspy voice as she lent against the wall admiring the candlelit room.

Slowly Lucas began walking towards her, she wasn't sure why but she could feel her heart beating faster with every step he took towards her. He was now literally a few feet in front of her and her heart was pounding. Her breaths became shorter as he moved in, their bodies nearly touching, she could feel his breath against her skin and out of all the things she could feel she felt sadness. Maybe if they hadn't have had the past they had had then things could have been different, if this had been the first time she had met him then she would probably have been pushing her lips against his and pulling his body closer against hers. But it wasn't the first time, and they did have a past, a long and complicated history that was never going to go away and even if she had wanted to kiss him she simply couldn't, she wouldn't.

"It's very… very… romantic" Lucas said in a husky yet seductive voice, he could hear her heart beating faster and it was spurring him on even more, making him want to be as close to her as he possible could, to push the boundaries and see how far he could get.

Brooke could hear his words but her eyes were firmly locked on his and his with hers, neither wanting to break it. For a second, just a single second she could have sworn that he was almost trying to flirt, but she quickly pushed that thought from her head.

Brooke reached her arm out and pulled the string, light suddenly filling the apartment once again. Lucas quickly raised his hand in an attempt to shield his eyes from the light that had burst back into the room.

"That's better" Brooke said as she made her way around the room blowing out the flames from the candles

Lucas watched her in confusion, he had attempted to get close to her again, it couldn't have been more perfect, just them and candlelight, as Brooke had said herself, it was romantic. Surely even she would not have been able to resist him if she had any feelings towards him still. Just as he thought he was getting closer to her though she had pulled the blinds. He wasn't sure what to make of it, was she simply scared of getting close to him again, was she totally oblivious to his advances or was she so repulsed by him that she wanted to keep him as far away as possible. Maybe she didn't want to be anything more than friendship. But for him that simply was not enough, he wanted more, he needed more. Her, her body, her mind, her spirit, her everything. She drove him crazy, having her being so close and yet so far away all at the same time and if he was honest with himself he wasn't even sure if he deserved another chance, maybe this was his punishment.

"You didn't have to do all of this you know" He said as she stood still dressed in a cute pair of denim shorts and a white tank top, her hand rested on her hip. He wanted her so badly, he almost couldn't help himself, just seeing her standing there in front of him was driving him crazy, she was so incredibly sexy but he couldn't even tell her that through fear of making her feel uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted to do was drive her out of his apartment and into some hotel, he wouldn't be able to see her come in from her morning run, or after she stepped out from the shower, or the cute but sexy nightwear she wore.

"I wanted to" She replied coolly but offered him a small smile. She did care of course she did, if she didn't care then she wouldn't have gone to all the bother of fixing up his apartment, she wouldn't have carefully selected each item making sure it was in keeping with the rest of the furniture. She cared, she always would, you can't just stop caring about someone, just like you can't just stop loving someone, it was impossible, and feelings so strong simply couldn't just vanish into thin air.

* * *

**You all kept asking me for some more Brucas so there you go lol, and I promise you will get more. Just be patient with me. Please review and let me know what you think x x x**


	16. What Shatters Hope Will Be Repaired

She had spent the last ten minutes driving around in circles, not wanting to go home but at the same time knowing she had to, she had her husband and her son waiting for her. Haley had always hated arguments, no matter how small, and it seemed that the closer the person was that you argued with, the worst the guilt was. She wished she could take back words she had spoken. Brooke didn't realise it yet but once she found out the truth she would be needing her friends, and Haley wanted Brooke to be able to talk to her. Haley didn't want to alienate her friend or make her feel uncomfortable in any way, knowing she had pushed Brooke too far, she could only hope the brunette would be able to forgive her. Brooke had only been back a matter of days and if anything she had lowered the chances of convincing Brooke to stay in Tree Hill. She couldn't tell Brooke what to do with her life, but the truth was that she missed her friend and she would do anything to have her back, but ultimately the choice belonged to her friend. Haley took a deep breath as she slid her key into the lock.

"Hey" Nathan called from the couch as he heard the door slam.

"Sorry I got held up, is James ready for his tea?" Haley asked, observing that her husband was sitting in his usual position in front of the television. She wasn't surprised with the sight before her, not anymore anyway. Ever since the accident he seemed to have become almost a shadow of his former self. He went out, now and again, but didn't work and all he was concerned about was rehabbing his knee at the moment. She just wished she could help him see that there was more to life.

"Actually James is over at Karen's." Nathan said using the remote to flick off the TV.

"Oh" Haley replied with a slight disappointment, as she threw her bag onto the couch.

"You don't mind do you?" Nathan questioned as he couldn't help but notice a hint of disappointment.

"No, no. I mean it's good that he's having fun and spending some time over there." Haley said shaking her head, "Are you ok? Why don't I cook your favourite?" She said about to make her way to the kitchen.

"Turn around Hales…" Nathan called so the blonde was once more facing him. "Sit down and tell me what's wrong" he continued after getting her attention patting the seat beside him.

"Why would you think something was wrong?" Haley asked as she remained standing and began pacing behind him. In all honesty she was rather surprised that he had even noticed there was anything remotely wrong but that thought was quickly replaced once more by that of her argument with Brooke.

"Maybe because you are talking like that and running around like a mad woman" Nathan smiled hoping to get his wife to open up to him.

"I had a fight with Brooke…" she sighed loudly raising her hand to her forehead.

"Haley it's Brooke, I mean she probably will have forgotten about it by tomorrow, you know how she is…" Nathan reasoned. He had a lot of experience when it came to knowing how the mind of Brooke Davis worked. It wasn't that he had been involved in many arguments with Brooke, but from his time when he was with Peyton he came to understood how their friendship worked pretty quickly. They had had some blazing rows in the past, sometimes about even the pettiest of things, but he tended to give them a day or two tops to patch things up. The next day they were the best of friends again and it was like it had never happened, their fights were always like that. Well that was until Lucas came along.

"Yeah I know it's just… I said some things that I really shouldn't have said… I don't know what came over me." She responded sadly, slumping into the chair. Part of her wanted to jump back in the car and drive straight back to Lucas's to apologise to her friend, just the thought that Brooke may have any ill feeling towards her made her feel extremely uneasy.

"What kinds of things?" Nathan asked rather confused, Haley wasn't known for her arguing that was for certain and it was rather out of character for her to even speak out of turn. He knew there must have been something big, something to have triggered this outburst and change in behaviour. If he was honest at the back of his mind he had a pretty good idea as to what the cause of it was, or should he say who.

"Just about the past and her and Lucas…" Haley admitted as she fiddled with her hands, unable to keep still, as if the guilt was eating away at her.

Nathan sighed as his wife gave him the confirmation he needed, "It's really getting to you isn't it?" He questioned, looking worriedly at Haley, he wasn't use to seeing her like this. She looked as if she had the world on top of her shoulders and he felt powerless to help.

"I just hate lying to her Nathan, I want her to know the truth but then every single time I think I can tell her she goes and says something which makes me think she isn't ready to hear the truth" She knew the truth would have to come out at some point and when it did she just prayed Brooke was ready for it, because the girl she had seen today was anything but ready.

Nathan paused taking in his wife's words, "It's not fair" he said breaking the silence.

"I know I mean poor Brooke, she just doesn't seem to have a clue, and he hurt her so badly, I really don't know if she will ever get over it" Haley rambled off.

"That's not what I was talking about" Nathan sighed, "I mean yeah I do feel sorry for Brooke, but what about you?"

"What about me?" Haley's eyes narrowing in confusion.

"Lucas is supposed to be your best friend Hales, he shouldn't have put you in this position. I don't know what he was thinking when he wrote that book…" Nathan said shaking his head in anger at his brother's actions.

"Maybe he wasn't." She muttered.

"What good has even come of it! " He exclaimed and then continued "Peyton's probably hurting; I mean what he did to Brooke before was bad but I didn't think he was capable of doing this to someone. And then there's you, this pressure he has put on you to lie for him, it's not right Hales… And who knows how Brooke is going to take it… he really has screwed up this time."

"Lucas is still your brother Nathan." Haley said softly but firmly, well aware of Nathan's anger towards his brother. He had expressed it on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was family.

"I know that, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with his choices." Nathan said anger still clear in his voice. He knew Lucas was Haley's best-friend but that didn't me she had to defend Lucas, even when he was in the wrong. Lucas made mistakes, that was a fact, and it was about time he started owning up to them just like everyone else had to.

"I know but we still have to be there for him." She would always defend her best-friend, even when she knew he was in the wrong. She couldn't help it, she had already told him what she thought of him and there was nothing more she could do. When it all exploded in his face she would be there to help pick up the pieces, but just because she defended him did not mean she was taking his side. In this situation they were in there were many victims and if she was honest he was probably at the bottom of the list in her opinion. If Lucas expected her to watch her one of her closest friends get hurt all over again then he was wildly mistaken.

"Even if he is an ass?" Nathan asked.  
"Even then" Haley smiled weakly.

Haley paused, she knew she couldn't ask Nathan to just ignore how he felt about Lucas, but the two brothers had come a long way since the night at the River court all the way back in high school, and she hated the thought of them ever going back to how they once were with each other. "He's a good person Nathan, James loves him… and he is family. He has just made a few mistakes along the way" She knew she was sugar-coating it and that Lucas had made more than a few mistakes but she just didn't want to see the brothers drift apart. And as strange as it sounded, she felt as if she was the glue that was holding them together, but at the same time, she was the one tearing them apart.

"I said we would pick James up at 6 by the way" Nathan said as Haley started to make her way to the kitchen once more. He knew she was simply trying to busy herself in the hope of forgetting everything that was going on around her.

"Nathan" Haley said spinning on her heels, she wasn't sure how he was going to take it but now was as good a time as any. She didn't know where she was getting the courage from or if she was just so worried about everything that she was going out of her mind.

"Yeah" He replied as he picked up the remote once more and resumed watching reruns of classic basketball games.

"You know I love you right?" Haley asked timidly standing directly in front of him so he was unable to view the screen.

"Well, we are married so I should hope so" Nathan joked

"I'm worried about you" Haley said as she carefully sat on the edge of the wooden coffee table. She took the remote from him and muted the channel

"And I'm worried about you too" Nathan replied attempting to take back the remote but Haley pulled her arm back with the remote in hand so it was out of his reach.

"I don't think you understand Nathan, this… this injury you have" She paused, "I think you are pushing yourself too hard" She gently took his hands in hers as she waited for his reply

"Haley no offence but I don't think you really know much about rehab for a knee injury" He said as he could feel her smooth skin of her hand gently rub his.

"Maybe not but I think I have a right to worry when my husband refuses to talk to his wife or son simply because he has not made as much progress as he wanted…" She knew she was being harsh and it wasn't as if it occurred daily, but it happened often enough that she felt it was time to say something.

"I was wondering when this was going to come up" Nathan recoiled and withdrew his hands from her grasp. Haley looked at him puzzled, if he had known then why was he still acting like this. "Lucas mentioned it…" he clarified upon seeing the confused face of his wife sitting be fore him.

"And?" Haley urged him to continue.

"I told him to mind his own business" Nathan shrugged. It was quite simple really, what he did and how he chose to behave was none of Lucas's concern. If anyone was in need of a lecture right now, it was the blue eyed wonder boy himself.

"Nathan please this is serious." Haley spoke sternly not wanting to believe that her husband could think this was all one big joke.

"So you all keep telling me!" Nathan snapped. Why couldn't everyone back off, he had enough going on without adding the constant nagging that was coming from all directions. What did a guy have to do to get a break?

"I was talking to Lucas and if you don't slow down then you could end up damaging that knee even more." Haley said as seriously as she could, she didn't know how else to emphasise what a big deal this was. She simply didn't know how to get through to him and get inside that head of his.  
"Oh saint Lucas is giving out more advice now is he? Maybe he should consider giving some of his supposed sound advice to himself rather than butting in where his opinion isn't wanted…" HY loved his brother he did, but sometimes he wished Lucas would keep his nose out of things instead of always trying to be the hero. What he couldn't understand in all of this, was that despite everything, despite all the mistakes Lucas had made, and there had been a lot, everyone still seemed to turn to him for advice as if he had all the answers.

"Please Nate, just promise to take it easy, can't you see your killing me here?" Haley said on the verge of breaking down, she couldn't take much more. She had tried to understand what he was thinking, she had tried talking to him, Lucas had tried, and nothing seemed to be working. She just wanted him to let her in.

Nathan looked at the broken woman in front of him and couldn't help but feel the guilt quickly creep over him. Seeing her so hurt like this was bad enough, but knowing that he was responsible was almost too much to take.

"If you can't do it for me then at least try for James… he gets so upset sometimes and I just don't want him to see him hurt" Haley said trying to remain strong and not let her emotions get the best of her. She knew it was wrong to use her son as a weapon to control her husband but in her eyes it seemed the only option available to her.

"Haley, basketball is such a huge part of my life" Nathan said refusing to look up at his wife, but he knew she was looking at him, he could just feel it.

"I know that."

"And I just don't want to risk blowing my shot at the big time, look at my dad…" Nathan said finding the courage to look her in the eye.

"Yeah, fine, but you are not your dad. You are nothing like your dad." Haley looked deep into the eyes of the man she loved and she could tell he was sorry. For the first time in a long time he was opening up to her and it was all she could really ask for, she just wanted him to be honest, if something was bothering him then she wanted him to tell her and that could face it together. That's what marriage was about after all wasn't it.

"I can't promise you that I am not going to push myself, but I will try to take it easier and not take it out on you and James. Is that good enough?" Nathan asked hopefully. He wasn't going to make false promises, there was no point in making promises that he didn't think he could keep but he was going to try, try and take things easier, try not to take out his frustration on his family, and most of all just try to be a good father and husband.

"That's all I ask" Haley replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You should have seen James today Hales. It was like watching myself when I first started" Nathan said proudly, he had had many proud moments in his career and his personally life but this ranked up there with the best of them.

"So you think we have another basketball star in the making huh?" Haley pulled back slightly so she was able to see her husband's face gleaming with pride.

"Maybe" Nathan replied seemingly unconvinced.

"You don't sound too sure" Haley said instantly picking up on the scepticism in his voice.

"I just want him to be happy, I don't want to put pressure on James like _he_ did on me" Nathan pulled back slightly from the loose hold his wife still had on him. Ever since he had found out about what Dan had done, ever since that day when Dan had confessed, Nathan had cut him out of his life, and his family's life. He'd never be able to look at the man who fathered him again and not feel hatred. He could forgive him for a lot of things, but this, this was simply too much to forgive, Dan was no longer his father, not in his eyes, not anymore. Maybe he owed his dad on some level, if Dan hadn't pushed him so hard then he probably wouldn't have been able to compete at such a high level and achieve all that he had. But that resentment towards Dan would always be there, always, and that was something he never wanted his son to feel towards him

"You won't" Haley said instantly dismissing his fears. She knew more than anyone how hard it was for Nathan to talk about his father. He had refused to call him dad since that day and she couldn't blame him. Nathan had been so eager to please Dan throughout the majority of his life, and even though he did not admit it, she knew Nathan had constantly seeked Dan's approval. Nathan had simply wanted to do what every son tried to do, make his dad proud. And to see a man who Nathan had strangely idolised as a child, and sought guidance from, to be capable of such a wicked act, it was heart wrenching and maybe something he would never be able to get over.

"I don't want to but what if one day I start and I just can't stop" Nathan said worryingly. He had thought of nothing else since his son had started to show an interest in basketball. He didn't want to push James, he was so young after all, but on some level Nathan felt he needed to, for James to see if he had the same talent his father had, to see if it was possible his son might one day follow in his footsteps. It sounded so wrong when he thought through in his head and each time memories of his father and the relentless practises and work his father made him go though returned to haunt him.

"Nathan you love your son" Haley said gently resting her hands on either of his shoulders.

"Yeah and my dad loved me in some weird warped way" Nathan was still not convinced that just because he loved James, history would not begin to repeat itself.

"I have faith in you Nathan, you won't become Dan, you are a good person" She said reassuringly as she pulled him into a tight embrace, hoping in some strange way she could help vanquish his fears.

Meanwhile...

"So as a thank you, I was thinking that maybe I could take you out for dinner" Lucas said as he poured her a glass of white wine and a glass of red for himself.

"I don't know…" Brooke said rather nervously. The idea of going out for dinner sounded far too much like a date. Just the two of them, a few glasses of wine, candlelight, a romantic setting, it would all be too much, she liked being in control, and being there alone with him, she wasn't sure she would be able to stop something from happening. She had to be strong.

"Come on, you've done all of this, it's the least I can do" He persisted, he wanted to show her how grateful he was, not just for what she had done to the apartment but for simply staying with him. He had been extremely lonely particularly the last few months, probably the reason why he hadn't spent much time at home. Knowing that you have an empty bed and an empty apartment didn't exactly encourage him to come home but having her there changed everything. She made him smile, she made him look forward to coming home, she simply made him happy and for that alone he was grateful.

"Don't you think it will be…? I don't know… weird?" She looked at him apprehensively.

"We're friends right?"

"Yeah" She replied softly still confused as to why he was unable to see what her problem was.

"So what's the problem?" He knew what she was trying to say, and he couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt. He wanted her to say yes of course she would go to dinner with him, but nothing was ever that simple, love never was. He had half expected this reaction from Brooke but yet he still felt disappointed. If she wasn't comfortable then he couldn't force her, he was simply going to have to find a way around it.

"No problem, it's just…" She stuttered as she tried to find the right word. He had caught her off guard and she was now struggling. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him but surely he could see where she was coming from, surely he could see how this might be weird for her, and for him.

"Look if it really bothers you that much then why don't I invite Hales and Nathan too seeing as she helped you do all of this?" He asked gesturing once more to his surroundings. It wasn't what he wanted but deciding it was the only way he could get her to agree it would have to do. Nathan and Haley needed some time together and maybe it could work out. Nathan and Haley, he and Brooke, if only it were that simple.

"Sure" Brooke said choosing to pass up the opportunity of telling him of her slight argument with Haley. It would just lead to further discussion, a discussion she wanted to avoid at all cost

Brooke had to admit however, that despite her minor argument with Haley she was in fact relieved that they would be coming and at least now she had some moral support. Being alone with Lucas scared her, the fact that she had been in the apartment with him alone a lot since she had arrived back in Tree Hill different somehow. She didn't know how exactly, it was just _different._

"Tomorrow night?"

"Perfect" She smiled weakly, everything seemed to be such a mess and she didn't even know where to start to fix it. She and Haley were fighting, well Haley didn't exactly fight but they weren't on best terms anyway. And the jury was still out on her friendship with Peyton, and as for Lucas, well she had absolutely no idea where she stood with him or what was actually going on anymore. It was all such a mess.

"Do you mind if I invite someone too?" Brooke asked as an idea entered her head.

"Sure, the more the merrier right?" He replied as happily as he could. How could he tell her that he didn't want anyone else there, he just wanted her! She had only been back less than 48 hours; he couldn't be so forward as to say he just wanted to be alone with her.

"Right" She wasn't sure if she was agreeing with what he said or if she was simply trying to convince herself that it was better that they were not left alone. She was in such a state of confusion, she didn't know what she wanted or how she felt, she just wished someone would tell her what to do or how she felt because right now anything had to be better than the state she had got herself in.

"So do I know this person?" He asked rather intrigued as to who she wanted to invite, as long as it wasn't this Brad guy he was pretty sure he had nothing to worry about. The thought of her with anyone else just made him want to scream an explode with jealousy, he knew he had no right to feel that way especially after the way he had treated her but he couldn't help it. He loved her.

"You're just going to have to wait and see" She winked and quickly skipped off to the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind her incase the thought entered his head to even attempt to listen in on her conversation.

"Peyton it's me" Brooke said as she sat down on the bottom of her bed, well his bed, which was currently her bed anyway.

"I was just thinking about you."

"You were?" Brooke questioned pleasantly surprised. The last 48 hours had provoked such a range in emotions from her, and time had seemed to have flown by. It felt like she had been home for months, not a matter of days. One minute her and Peyton were arguing and here they were talking somewhat cheerfully on the phone. It wasn't like it used to be, but it was never going to be like that again. They had to simply accept that fact and move on and attempt to pick up what was left of their friendship.

"Yeah, how about me, you and a whole day of shopping?" Peyton asked cheerfully, there was no better way to get back how they used to be than a whole day shopping and quality bonding time. She knew Brooke would be unable to resist, she never had been able to turn down shopping, since about the age of 7. Some people were addicted to shopping, and Brooke was definitely one of them.

"Sounds great!" Brooke was excited at the thought of being able to spend the day with Peyton. Hopefully they'd be able to really work things out with a good dose of retail therapy.

"You free Friday?"

"Yep nothing planned" Brooke said deciding to take the bull by the horns and just go for it, "…speaking of plans, I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner tomorrow night?" The hesitation was clear in her voice and Peyton immediately knew there was more than Brooke was letting on.

"Would this dinner be just the two of us or would there be others?" Peyton asked suspiciously knowing how Brooke had a habit of leaving out key details; Brooke always had been one that enjoyed the element of surprise.

"Lucas, Nathan and Haley, just the usual" Brooke shrugged and replied coolly not wanting to make it seem like a big deal, but it was, to her at least. It would be the first time the five of them were together again since they left and went their separate ways. Before she went back to New York she really wanted to manage to get the old gang back together.

"Actually I think I am gonna have to pass" Peyton replied wincing as she prepared for Brooke's reaction.

"Peyton Sawyer it's the first time we will have been all together since we left, you have to come…" To say Brooke was disappointed was an understatement, it had taken a lot for her to come back and now she was she couldn't even manage to get them all together again. Had they drifted apart that much?

"Brooke it's really not my scene…" Peyton's words came uneasily. She wanted to spend time with Brooke, and even Haley and Nathan, but not him. Not after what he'd done to her, how he'd publicly humiliated her.

"And what's your scene?" Brooke asked not buying the lame attempt at an excuse, she knew there was something bothering the blonde.

"I'm just busy Brooke, please don't push me on this" Peyton warned her friend, she knew Brooke would back off if she knew what was good for her. Brooke knew her well enough by now that she knew when she was in danger of pushing things too far, well she used to anyway.

"Fine, whatever you want, but you are going to have to face them sooner or later…"

"You four will have fun anyway" Peyton said trying to shrug her of the fact that she wouldn't be there.

"Is that what you're worried about?" Brooke quickly jumped in "Being the odd one out? Because you're not, I'm just as much on my own as you" Brooke continued. Peyton wasn't the only one who had been away for the last four years, and if she was worried about being on her own then she was wrong. She had been terrified about coming back, about not fitting in, but in the short time she had been back she had realised that in fact she had been worrying way too much, it wasn't easy seeing everyone again but she was glad she had, and Peyton would feel that way too if she just tried.

"No you're not" Peyton replied, a little harsher than she had intended. Brooke could be so dense sometimes. How the girl could not see that Lucas was in love with her was a mystery.

"Excuse me?" Brooke was rather shocked at her friend's words.

"You're not on your own Brooke" Brooke didn't see it but she wasn't on her own, and she certainly wasn't the odd one out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brooke persisted, wanting to hear Peyton's reasoning behind her words.

"Look there will be Nathan and Haley and you and Lucas, that's the way it is". Peyton replied simply, Brooke was in denial if she couldn't see that.

"I'm not with Lucas" Brooke said softly.

"So you keep saying but it's only a matter of time…" Peyton said still baffled by Brooke's constant denial of her feelings.

"Is that why you're not coming then… because of me and Lucas?" Brooke asked still trying to comprehend what Peyton was saying. She and Lucas weren't even together, so why would the blonde be worried, if she was with Lucas then she could see why Peyton might have a problem, but they weren't together, they were strictly friends. Why was that so hard for people to understand?

"No, I just don't want to go" Peyton quickly dismissed Brooke's fears. Brooke listened to her friend's words and to her voice, and they were telling her two very different things. She wanted to believe Peyton's words but her head was telling her it was so much more than her just not wanting to go. She wasn't sure whether to press the matter further and simply just drop it. "You can't say I didn't try". She decided to opt for the latter.

"You're still on for shopping though right" Peyton said hopefully, wondering if Brooke had now changed her mind. She didn't want to disappoint her former best-friend but she was not going to be pushed into doing something that she simply did not want to do.

Brooke laughed at how Peyton could even think that she would have changed her mind, "You mean despite your little mood swings… Yeah I'm in."

"Can you at least give me a clue?" Lucas asked as Brooke joined him on the couch. She had reappeared from his bedroom two minutes ago and as of yet had not uttered a word. Her face now looking serious and sour, unlike when he had last seen the brunette.

"It doesn't matter" She muttered, any quieter and he would have been unable to make out what Brooke had said.

"Why what's wrong?" He asked wanting to find the cause of her sudden change of mood.

"Nothing, they said no ok" Brooke snapped, she shrugged and spoke softly looking at the hurt face in front of her, she hadn't meant to snap at him, she was just frustrated with Peyton and taking it out on him, "I don't even know why it bothers me so much, I just thought it would be nice…"

"What would?" He asked looking at her intently trying to find answers as to why she now seemed so miserable.

"Having the five of us again… like before…" She answered her voice beginning to crack at the last few words.

"It was Peyton wasn't it?" It wasn't really a question, more a statement. It was now quite apparent as to who she had been on the phone to and who had brought on this change in the brunette sitting beside him.

"Yeah but don't worry she's not coming" Brooke said figuring he would probably be relieved. It seemed to be one of those things that after a break-up you just don't want to be in close proximity of your ex, she should know after all. Why would Peyton and Lucas be any different? He may not have said he didn't want her to come but he didn't think to invite her either.

"Did she say why?" He asked fidgeting with his hands as he spoke.

"No but I think it has something to do with you or me or maybe it's both of us" She reasoned, she knew it was too much to ask for Peyton to completely open up so soon after they had just agreed to give their friendship another go, so she was just going to have to be patient. Maybe it was a case of too much too soon for the blonde. It was going to take time as it was for their friendship to get back on track let alone Peyton's friendship with Lucas, presuming they would want to be friends and could actually manage that.

"Why what did _we_ do?"

"Well you broke up with her and me… well… I ignored her for the past four years" She smiled sadly wishing that if she could change the past but it was just something she was going to have to learn to live with. Lucas returned the look of sadness, she wasn't sure if she was meant to find comfort in that or not but if anything she simply felt sadder if that was even possible. "She's just scared of being the odd one out" She concluded.

"Why?" Confusion now etched on his face.

"It's quite funny really" she laughed nervously, "She seems to think that there will be Nathan and Haley and then you and me. Crazy right?", she said as she shook her head.

"Yeah crazy…" She didn't notice the hint of sadness in his voice as she was too consumed in her thoughts but had she turned to face the blonde haired blue eyed boy she would have seen a man who looked as if he had had all hope ripped away in that single moment.

* * *

**Ok so that was quite a long one, sorry it took me so long to update, it's been ready for a while as Jenna knows lol but it's just taken me a while to actually upload it so sorry about that :) Hope you enjoyed and please review and tell me what you all think**


	17. I Remember

Brooke rummaged through her clothes in search of the perfect outfit, glancing at her cell phone as she watched it vibrate once more. The truth was, she had been avoiding work like the plague, it was as if another life was calling her and wanting her back and in all honesty she simply wasn't ready too. She had only been back for 3 days now and she already had 31 missed calls, most of which were from her assistant and 8 voicemails which she could only guess the subject matter. Sighing deeply Brooke reacched for her cell, wishing she could ignore it but this was her livelihood and although she trusted people to be able to cope without her, she knew it was her name and reputation at stake, the two things she would not allow tarnished.

"Brooke Davis speaking" She answered coolly.

"Brooke why haven't you been answering any of my calls?" Brooke frowned at her assistant's question. She had told her not to bother her unless it was an emergency and yet here she was asking why hadn't answered one of the 31 calls!!

"I told you I didn't want to be disturbed unless it was important" Brooke said trying her best to keep her voice under control. She didn't like to shout or lose her temper, particularly with her employees but they certainly pushed her to the limit.

"Mr Galanti called, he is not happy, not at all. He wanted to know why you cancelled your meeting with him…" Christina said worriedly after having spent the last few minutes on the phone to him.

"Just send him a few dresses for his wife, that should calm him down." Brooke said almost instinctively, having been involved in the business for a while now she had learnt how to get around particular high profile customers and how to please them. It had taken a while but now she liked to think that she had that area sussed.

"He didn't sound too impressed…" Christina repeated anxiously.

"Trust me, I know how to handle him. If his wife is happy then he is happy. Ok?" Brooke said reassuringly knowing her assistant had a habit of getting worked up over the slightest hint of trouble.

"Ok I'll get right on it."

"Is there anything else?"

"Well a lot of people are wondering when you are coming back" Christina asked nervously.

"By a lot of people do you mean you by any chance?" Brooke could read her assistant like a book, even when she couldn't' see her. The girl was smart, but she needed to calm down a little and not get so worked up about things.

"Yes Miss Davis" She replied timidly.

"I'll come back when I am ready, and I would appreciate it if you could refrain from contacting me unless it is of the utmost importance." Brooke said, she wasn't about to tell her an exact date because the truth was she didn't even know the answer to her assistant's question. It was like if she set a date then she would constantly thinking about how much time she had left

"Of course Miss Davis, everything will be taken care of"

"Good and any other problems try using your head, if not talk to Melissa" Melissa had been working with her right from the start and knew exactly what to do. She wouldn't say she was a friend but when it came to business Brooke valued her opinions a great deal.

"Sorry for bothering you again Miss Davis"

Brooke hung up, knowing she may have come across a little harsh but she was on a break and she hadn't been away from New York since her arrival there nearly 4 years ago. Was it so wrong to have a few days to herself, after all she was the boss.

Christina seemed to need so much guidance, she didn't mind being her mentor but she just wished the girl would use her head and think for herself sometimes. Christina was intelligent, there was no doubt about that and she had so much potential but if she planned on getting anywhere in life then she was going to need to use that brain of hers and stop looking to others for instructions all the time.

Sometimes she was deliberately harsh to Christina, not because she didn't like her, but simply because she was so desperate for the girl to stand up for herself and realize that she shouldn't be spoken to like that. She had been asked countless times why she had kept Christina on, after all there were a lot of people that would have killed to have that position, working for the boss, working for a top fashion designer, and Brooke had always defended her. Maybe she was wrong too, maybe giving Christina the boot was exactly what she needed to kick the girl into action but every single time she had the opportunity to replace her, with someone more driven, someone with more confidence, Brooke found herself declining it.

For some reason it was as if she saw part of herself in the girl, the difference was that Brooke had always tried to be strong, to not let her fear get the best of her and to remain strong even when she was breaking inside. Christina on the other hand seemed to struggle with handling her emotions, she would freak out and panic over the slightest thing, hence all the missed calls, if something was wrong with her you would know within the first 5 seconds of seeing her. Brooke wanted to help her, help her become stronger, help her to value herself more. She wouldn't fire Christina, ultimately because she was her friend. Christina might not have realised that was how she saw her, but New York could be a very lonely place and in the end Christina was one of the only people Brooke could actually trust.

She threw her cell back onto the bed hoping that Christina would be able to manage at least a few hours without calling her. She resumed searching for something to wear that night. Lucas had kindly given her half of his closet to store her clothes in so they didn't get creased but he should have known by now that Brooke Davis never travelled light and her garments were taking up more than three quarters of the closet rather than her given half. She pulled out one dress, she had only worn it once to some function, it had been specially made for her, as a fashion designer the last thing you wanted to do was to turn up and see someone wearing the exact same outfit. She had thought of making her own but in the end she had decided to go with one of the numerous designer gowns she had been given. She held it up against her body and eyed herself in the mirror.

Frowning at her reflection, she didn't like what she saw. It was gorgeous and it looked lovely on her, BUT it was not the right dress for tonight. She just wanted to be normal as stupid as it seemed, not that she wanted to wear discount clothing, but she didn't want to wear a dress that clearly cost thousands. In fact it worried her that the dress may be seen to be more beautiful than she was. She didn't want to give off the impression that she was better than everyone else but at the same time she knew people had expectations of her and expected her to wear something fabulous and that made her look stunning. She wanted to look hot but not slutty, she wanted to look sophisticated but not boring, but most important she didn't want it to look as if she had tried to look good, it needed to seem as if it were as natural as the rising of the sun in the morning.

Lucas had gone to get the groceries which meant she had some alone time but all she thought about was how the whole night was such an incredibly bad idea. Something about it just seemed wrong. There was going to be the four of them but yet that just didn't seem to be enough. He said it was just a thank you but still on so many levels it felt like a date.

Throwing herself onto the bed, she had the worst feeling that it was her who had the problem, not him. If it wasn't a date then why was she caring so much about what she wore? If it wasn't a date then why was she even thinking about what dress Lucas would like the best? If it wasn't a date then why was she so sure she would have her hair down as she remembered Lucas had said he liked it that way? Why was she even thinking about him yet alone what he would like!! She shook her head violently wishing the thoughts in her head would disappear. She pulled herself up off the bed and walked back over to the closet determined to make a decision on what to wear. She pushed the ones she had looked at to one side and then she stopped. There it was… the perfect one.

"What did your mom say?" Haley asked as Nathan walked back into the room.

"She can't do it" Nathan answered as he placed the phone back on the table and collapsed into the chair.

"There has to be someone". It didn't help that Lucas had only asked them if they wanted to come to dinner that morning, and it seemed everyone had plans.

"What about Karen?" Nathan asked.

"She can't, already checked… So why can't your mom baby-sit anyways?"

"She is going on a date" Nathan deadpanned, clearly not impressed with the idea.

"Come on it's not that bad, you should be happy for her"

"I am, it's just still a bit strange" He loved his mom and he wanted her to be happy but it was all rather weird. He knew she was better off without his dad, that was clear for everyone to see, but he was simply not used to hearing about or thinking of her with anyone else. Maybe it was selfish of him to think like that but it just made him feel a little uncomfortable.

"Why?"

"I don't know I guess because it's was always my mom and _him, _it's just a bit strange thinking of her with someone else" Nathan admitted

"Yeah but it's good that she is getting out there" Haley said not really understanding his problem. Nathan's hatred towards his father had grown over the years particularly on the day he found out his own father had killed his uncle. He probably would have been able to forgive Dan for everything else, but this was simply unforgivable. Nathan didn't even like his name being mentioned in the house, it was as if he wanted to erase Dan from all their lives.

"God knows she couldn't do any worse than_ him" _He said the bitterness clear on the last word. He hated Dan for what he had done to Keith, to Lucas, to Karen, to his mom, to Haley and himself He paused replaying all the things had Dan had done in his head. "And do you know what I can't get over? How I left my mom in that house with him." Nathan said in disbelief. Dan was a lot of things but he never pegged him as a murderer. If he had known that Dan was capable of that then he would never have left his mom with him.

"Nathan I doubt he would have done anything to her" Haley said unconvinced. Ever since Nathan had found out about what Dad did he had been replaying it all again and again wondering if somehow he could have saved the man who was meant to be his father. Wondering if there was something he could have done, maybe some way of saving Keith. He was being so hard on himself wishing he could have saved the people he loved

"You really think that? Because I don't. He killed his own brother; I really don't think he would have thought twice about killing his wife who he apparently didn't even love."

"Come on Nathan I think you are thinking a little too much about it, your dad was hardly a serial killer"

"Maybe not but he is still a murderer"

Haley sighed "So do you have any other ideas on who we could call?" She asked deciding a change in topic was needed.

"Maybe we should cancel" Nathan shrugged.

"No we are going. Lucas came all the way here just to invite us" Haley reminded him. She knew Nathan and Lucas were going through a short of rough patch but surely that was even more reason to go, that way maybe they could attempt to get back to how they once were.

"Yeah at short notice though" Nathan countered. He had his reasons for not going. One, Lucas was there, and if his brother even attempted to lecture him about his life then he wasn't sure he would be able to control his temper. And two, he hated the fact that he had to look Brooke in the eye knowing that he was keeping something from her, something his brother had to come clean about. But as much as he didn't agree with his brother's actions he found himself keeping Lucas's secret, maybe it was out of loyalty, or maybe it was simply not his place to say anything. It was Lucas's mess and he was going to let him deal with it.

"That's not the point. We are going" Haley said squashing any hope her husband had of them skipping dinner.

"He probably doesn't even want us there, we both know this is probably just another one of his attempts at trying to get Brooke back" Nathan countered again.

Haley sighed and rested her hand on her hip as she looked up to the ceiling avoiding her husbands gaze for a few seconds as she knew he was probably right. "Look he wouldn't have asked if he didn't want us there, and anyway Brooke will want us to go" She knew her first statement was probably a lie but it was what she was choosing to believe. The latter part was definitely true. Sure she had argued with Brooke, and even though she didn't really know how Brooke was feeling right now, especially with Lucas, she knew that Brooke would not want to go out to dinner alone with him. She may have been unable to get Brooke to fully open up to her or even partially open up to her but she knew that Brooke would want someone there with her, even if it was someone who she had argued with only a mere 24 hours ago.

"I guess we can't leave her with old Romeo…" Nathan let out a small smile and at his own joke while Haley let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah you should probably try to just stick with his name at dinner" She advised, really not wanting to see Scott taking on Scott, two brothers at war, some girl's may call that a fantasy, being between two brothers, but for her it was a nightmare.

"Aw do I have to?" Nathan asked doing his best puppy dog impression

"Yes because you are going to be on your best behaviour" She paused a little noticing the frown on her husbands face and knowing she was going to have to give him a little incentive, "…and maybe you might just get rewarded" She said as she smacked him on the ass as she brushed past him.

"Oh I am going to be so good tonight" He smiled still taking in her scent that still lingered in the room.

"I know you are" Haley said a smirk firmly placed on her face as she peaked her head round the doorway.

"Oh it is so on" Nathan said rubbing his hands together in delight as his wife disappeared once more.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that chapter, I wanted some more Naley so I hope I have included enough for all you Naley lovers. Please review and I will try to update as soon as I can

Thanks to **Jenna** again for helping me with this chapter, I don't what I would do without you now lol

**Brucas2006**: Thank you for reviewing, you review so regularly so thanks for that. You will have to wait and see if Peyton shows lol and the book is going to have to come out at some point but you may have to wait a little longer, you will have to wait and see.

**Brucas3**: Wow I got all these reviews from you all of a sudden, thank you for taking the time to review so many chapters. I personally am terrible with that lol and seem to just review the last chapter I read but I am glad to see not everyone is like me :)

**BrOoKe DaViS23**: First of all I am glad you enjoy both my stories, secondly I am a diehard Brucas fan too so I am not going to have Lucas kill Brooke or anything lol

**awhero**: aw I am glad you feel sorry for Lucas but if he hadn't let her go to begin with then he wouldn't be in this position so really it is his own fault. But I feel sorry for him too lol

**wtlozy**: Thanks, I try to make the chapters as long as possible but it does mean they take longer to write so the updates are not as regular as I would probably like.

**CheerandBrood323**: I did update my other story, so I hope you liked the update :)

And **tinycapricorn12,fade.away.with.me, Kristin, princetongirl, xxxBrucasJeytonNaleyxxx, raquelle89, illeandra, jc4127** thanks for reading and glad to hear you are enjoying it


	18. Uncomfortable Situation

**Sorry it has taken me a while to update.**

* * *

"Can you get that Nathan, it should be the babysitter?" Haley called to her husband who was trying to catch a few more minutes of the basketball game before they left. She didn't even attempt to ask who was playing, he watched so many games it was hard to keep up with now. 

"James can you come here please?" Haley called to her soon as she ran around the room picking up various toys James had left laying around. She had told him so many times to put his toys away once he was done playing with them and he finally seemed to be following what she had told him, well that was until he saw how his father left all his things lying around. So once more her son was determined to follow in his father's footsteps.

"You're going to be good for the babysitter now aren't you?" Haley said sternly knowing that although James was usually well behaved for some reason he had made a habit out of misbehaving when they had a sitter. Countless times they had gone out only to receive a call asking them to come back. To be fair though James had been on his best behaviour recently and they hadn't had any problems over the last few months, but maybe that was more to do with the fact that they had hardly been out over the last few months. Other than when Brooke looked after him when Haley had begged Nathan to take her out just so they could have some alone time.

"Yes Mom" James nodded with his arms still hidden behind his back

"Thank you so much for doing this I know it was short notice" Haley said her attention now focused on a woman aged about thirty who had entered the room behind Nathan. Her auburn hair tied tightly back into a small ponytail and dressed casually wearing a pair of blue jeans and a blue floral top.

"It's no problem, that's what neighbours are for isn't it" The woman smiled

"Well we shouldn't be too late but if you need anything then don't hesitate to call. I've put all our numbers on the fridge just in case" Haley said going through standard procedure as she did with any other babysitters they had. They didn't like leaving James with strangers, so they often relied on Karen or Deb, and even Skills had helped them out on a few occasions. They knew Mrs Glaris well, she would often bring over treats for James and when Nathan was under strict bed rest she had brought soup and casseroles as she knew Haley had her hands full as it was, without having to worry about cooking. She was a respectable woman, her husband ran his own business and they were very well known in the neighbourhood. In fact she was the first person they met when they moved in and had even ordered her husband to help Nathan carry all the furniture in while she, Haley and James went back to her place.

"We'll be fine, won't we James?" The woman looked down at the youngster with a smile.

"Uh huh" James nodded eagerly.

"James, what have I told you about eating sweets before bed?" Haley asked disapprovingly upon noticing that he had chocolate smudged in the corners of his lips.

"That I shouldn't do it" James replied innocently and flashed his sugary sweet little smile knowing it almost never failed.

"Hand them over little man…" Nathan said holding his hand out as the youngster regretfully approached and placed a handful of sweets in his hand. Nathan shook his head at his son as he looked at the amount of sweets that he was now holding.

"Is that all of them?" Nathan asked eying the boy carefully. What quickly brought a smile to his face was remembering how he used to try and sneak sweets and chocolate just like his son. The saying really was true, like father like son.

"Yup" James frowned, he had raided all the cupboards he could reach and was rather proud of himself managing to find so many sweets, it was only a shame that he never got the chance to enjoy them. No sooner had he actually got them, they were gone.

"Now no more before bed time. Are we clear?" Nathan said, there was no need to be harsh or punish him. Neither he nor Haley were big on the disciplining front of the things. They tried to teach James right from wrong and how to behave but neither liked punishing James, luckily for them though James was quite well behaved so they rarely had to raise their voice at him. He was cheeky and curious but what kid that age wasn't?

"Yes dad" James said as he dug in his hands into his pockets as if hoping to find some remains of the once large supply of sweets.

"I think you might have your work cut out with this one" Nathan joked at the Nanny as she continued to smile down at James.

"Brooke are you ready yet?" Lucas asked knocking on the bedroom door for the 3rd time in the last 10 minutes. In hindsight, he should have lied and said they needed to leave half an hour earlier, at least then she might have actually have been ready on time. Now, standing there and banging on the door, he was unsure of when she was actually going to appear.

"Nearly" he heard her voice call as he heard more clanging coming from his room. He knew he probably did not want to into the room as by now it was most likely an absolute mess. He had learnt from when they were dating that Brooke liked to spread out everything while she was getting ready. She would have her make-up laid out in one area, clothes in another, then accessories, shoes, and of course perfume and any nail polish. She liked to be organised when it came to getting ready, and so he would often be pushed out of her way so she could get ready without him as she put it 'cluttering up the place'.

"You've been saying that for the last twenty minutes…" He replied rather unconvinced. He wasn't sure why she needed so much time to get ready anyway, she could throw on the plainest clothes and to him she would still look stunning, she always did. She didn't need to cover her face with make-up, he loved her how she was, she didn't need perfume, he could inhale her natural scent all day and she certainly didn't need glamorous gowns, a pair of jeans and simple t-shirt were perfection when he looked at Brooke Davis. None of the superficial things mattered, but if they made her happy then he liked them too.

Brooke finished applying her mascara and took another look in the mirror wondering if she had forgotten anything. She was half expecting another knock from him or for him to actually come in and demand to known what was taking her so long. She did hear a faint knock but it was definitely not coming from the bedroom door.

"See I told you we were going to be late, they're already here." Lucas sighed and through his arms by his side in pure frustration.

"Haley" Lucas said as he swung the door open to reveal his best friend. Haley edged her way into the apartment her eyes travelling around looking for any sign of Brooke. Nathan was waiting in the car for them and although she would have loved to have avoided Brooke for a little longer Nathan had forced her to face the music

"Can we meet you in the car, Brooke's running a bit slow today" Lucas said rolling his eyes but knowing that Haley would not be surprised in the slightest. After all, they had all witnessed Brooke getting ready, whether it be for school, a party, dinner, a date or just in general, and they had all found the same thing, Brooke was just slow.

"I am not slow" Their attention being drawn to the voice coming from behind his bedroom door

"I honestly don't know what's taking her so long" Lucas said trying to make some sort of conversation as his best friend stood looking rather uncomfortable.

"Sure I'll see you in the car" Haley said as she tried to flash him her biggest smile as she attempted to laugh at the situation. Part of her was relieved that she hadn't had to see Brooke as of yet but the other part of her knew she was just putting off the inevitable. She was going to have to face the brunette at some point after all, it wasn't like they could manage to sit through an entire dinner without speaking a word. She wasn't sure if Lucas knew about the argument or not, she had told Nathan after all so maybe Brooke needed someone to talk to too and told Lucas about it. Then again she was sure he would have mentioned it or at least given her an indication of Brooke's mood if he had known.

"Should I go and tell them you are going to need more time?" Lucas questioned jokingly as he once again made his way over to the bedroom door.

"No I'm ready" The door swung open revealing the brunette in a vibrant red spaghetti strapped dress, it clung to her body tightly highlighting her curves. She stood nervously in the doorway wondering if she was just slightly overdressed and that maybe she should have gone for something a little less revealing and figure hugging. Her mother wasn't usually one for advice but one thing she had told the brunette had simply stuck, 'Never be ashamed of what you have, if you have great boobs don't be ashamed to use them to your advantage, if you have a great arse then flaunt it, never hide your body away'. Part of her wanted to run back into the room and change or at least grab a jacket but she knew her mother was right, well to some degree anyway, she shouldn't hide away, all the mattered was that she felt good and who cared what anyone else thought.

"Wow", his jaw dropped and although it wasn't possible it felt as if it had just hit the floor. "You… you… look… amazing." He stuttered now completely flustered. He knew she would look amazing, she always did but he was certainly not prepared for this level of beauty, there was not even a blemish on her, every single inch of her was perfect. Her hair was just how he had always liked it, the brunette locks lay loosely over her shoulders, his eyes travelled down her trying to take in as much of her as he could for as long as he could without her feeling uncomfortable.

"Thanks" She said replied nervously but also rather glad that her efforts had not gone to waste.

"I always like you in red" he said causing her to blush a little.

"So was I worth the wait" She said trying to brush his comment off as she stood and then gave him a quick twirl in her dress

"Definitely" He said his eyes still unable to leave her

"You don't look so bad yourself" She replied giving him a playful little nudge

"I'll take that as a compliment I guess…" He joked.

"If you want" She came back coyly.

"So are you ready to go now?"

"Sure, we can't keep Nathan and Haley waiting, now can we?" She said as cheerfully as she could without drawing his suspicion as she really was not in the mood for a talk with Lucas about her little argument with Haley earlier.

"After you" He said holding the door open for her. She hesitated, only for a brief second though, before making her way past him and into the hall. He followed her to the top of the stairs and saw her look down rather apprehensively

"Here hold onto me" He said as he inched closer to her so she was able to grab his arm. He knew Brooke and her obsession with shoes all to well, and although she was a master in walking in even the highest heels even she would have find it difficult to turn down his offer. There was no railing to hold onto or edge she could grab to aid her as she made her way down the stairs, it was just him.

"We don't want you falling down the stairs in those heels" He remarked as she carefully looped her arm around his so she didn't fall.

"Aren't you the gentleman tonight?" She gripped his arm tightly as she felt herself wobble a little as she made her way down the stairs in her 4-inch heels. Five minutes ago it seems like a great idea to wear them as they were the perfect match for her dress, but was quickly regretting her decision with each step down the steep concrete stairs.

"Anything for you" he replied almost instinctively

Within a matter of seconds he realised he had said something wrong, not because Brooke had failed to reply, but because he had felt her grip on his arm loosen the second the words escaped from his mouth.

Brooke just focused on the steps ahead and tried to ignore the blonde she was holding onto. She had briefly considered recoiling her arm all together but had dismissed that idea almost as quickly as it had entered her head. The last thing she wanted was for him to realise he had said something wrong. If he hadn't realised it himself then she was not going to be the one to point out his error. He may not have known what he had said, but she did, all to well.

They made their way down the remaining steps and clambered into the safety of the car. Although she wouldn't admit it, she was incredibly relieved to have her couple of friends with her in the car. She knew it was silly, and that Lucas was supposed to be her friend, but he had a way of making her feel extremely uneasy. Sometimes it was just a look, other times a gesture or a word, she wished she could ignore it but she couldn't and being now in the safety of Nathan and Haley's company she couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"What took you so long?" Nathan asked turning his head round from the passenger's seat to face the two of them.

"Oh you know Brooke…..she couldn't decide which outfit to wear" Lucas chimed in before Brooke could give some long winded explanation as to how she couldn't decide what nail polish to use.

"That is so not true, I knew what I was going to wear" She said in her defence, "I just didn't know what shoes or purse went best" She added as she smiled at the raven-haired man sitting across from her.

"I should have known" Nathan laughed as he twisted back in his seat and looked over at his wife.

Haley knew he was looking at her and she knew why. She knew she was probably worrying over nothing but that didn't make her stop and she had spent most of the night thinking about how she was going to apologise to Brooke. Nathan had tried telling her that it would all blow over and that Brooke would probably have forgotten about it but she was adamant that she would apologise to the brunette. The last thing she wanted was any bad feeling between the two of them.

"Brooke I just wanted to say-" Haley began after taking a deep breath.

"Don't worry about it tutor-mom, it's in the past" Brooke quickly jumped in and smiled into the mirror so that Haley could see her face.

"Are you sure?" Haley said rather taken aback by Brooke's quick response.

"Really, it's ok" Brooke answered, even if she was still slightly angry with Haley she was certainly not about to discuss it more in front of Lucas.

"What's ok?" Lucas asked extremely confused about the conversation going on around him.

"None of your business" Brooke said playfully hitting him on the arm.

Nathan caught Haley's eye and couldn't help but smirk, Haley rolled her eyes at her husband who had a rather satisfied smirk on his face. Although she was really relieved Brooke had forgiven her, she wasn't as happy about Nathan being right, especially after he had told her how Brooke would react and yet she had still spent all night worrying. And she knew he wouldn't be able to resist rubbing it in that he knew Brooke better than she did.

"I want you order whatever you want, tonight it on me" Lucas said as they took their seats at the table. He had briefly considered holding Brooke's chair out for her but then figured that would probably be a bit too much. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable after all

"Lucas this place is really expensive, why don't we just split it" Haley suggested as she gazed down the menu and was shocked to see how pricey everything seemed, even the side dishes were expensive.

"Hey this is my thank you to you so no arguing" .

Haley kicked Nathan lightly under the table.

"Ow" Nathan said reaching for his leg but then quickly catching his wife's glare.

"Thanks bro" Nathan said as heartfelt as she could manage.

"Can we have a bottle of your finest champagne please" Lucas requested to the waiter

"Lucas really it's not necessary" Brooke quickly added making her feelings well known

"Of course it is, and it's my treat"' He said dismissively.

"So what are we toasting to anyway?" Haley asked as the waiter poured the champagne into her glass.

Lucas shrugged and then a smile came to his face, "To friends returning home."

"Cheers" They all said as they banged their glasses together. Brooke tried her best to smile but she just felt rather out of place, it all seemed so wrong and she couldn't help but think of the person who was missing from their table.


	19. I Can't Believe This Is Happening To Me

**It's been a while since I updated I know, and I am sorry. Things have been rather hectic and then I was away on holiday. Anyway I am back now and here is the latest chapter. Hope you enjoy and it makes up for the wait.**

* * *

"Aren't you Lucas Scott!?" A blonde cried as she rushed over to the table in excitment. Brooke eyed her up and down and scowled, the girl was about as plastic as they came. In fact it was hard to tell what hadn't been enhanced or altered in someway or another, not that she was in the least bit jealous of the blonde, she just preferred the natural look.

"Yeah I am… can I help you?" Lucas asked rather confused.

"Well I was hoping so…" She replied with a hint of seduction in her voice while leaning over and thrusting her chest directly into his line of sight. "Would you be ever so kind as to give me an autograph?" She asked as she fluttered her eyelids at him and gave him a cute little smile knowing that he would be unable to resist.

"Oh please…" Brooke muttered under her breath.

"Anything for a fan" Lucas smiled happily clearly thriving on the attention. Brooke just looked away in disgust as the blonde continued to flaunt her assets.

"Maybe we could do something later" She persisted and Lucas quickly realised this girl was not after just an autograph, she was after much, much more.

"I'm actually in the middle of dinner with my friends" Lucas said noting the glares he was receiving from his best-friend and brother, part of him wanted to turn his body so he could see Brooke's reaction but he decided that would probably be a bad idea. The last thing he needed was a blonde, all be it a very attractive blonde, coming between them again.

"Well here's my number" The woman said as she pulled out a pen from her bag and began to scribble her number on his napkin, obviously not understanding she was getting the brush off. She then turned to face him once more and tilted her head so they were literally head to head, Brooke turned to see what the woman or _blonde bimbo_ would she say was doing and her eyes bulged as it looked like the two were about to kiss. She knew who it was instigating the kiss but if he kissed her back then that would be the final straw and she'd definitely be going home. The pretty brunette was not about to sit through another make out session of Lucas Scott and some blonde.

Lucas wanted to pull away, even he was unsure of the blonde's intentions, but before he had the chance to pull her way he found her head had moved and she was now whispering in his ear. "Call me".

And that was it. The blonde simply strutted back to her own table, no second looks, nothing.

"Sorry about that" Lucas said quickly apologising, it wasn't as if he had asked her to come over or encouraged her in any way, he was just being friendly.

"Haley do you need to go to the ladies room?" Brooke cut in before he had a chance to continue.

"Actu- Haley began.

Brooke kicked her underneath the table as discreetly as possible so as not to catch either guy's attention.

"Actually yes I do" Haley nodded and pulled out her chair "We'll be right back" She added as she excused herself and followed Brooke who had already made a beeline for the restrooms.

"What did you do that for?" Haley asked clearly annoyed upon entering the ladies bathroom as she rubbed the mark Brooke had left with her shoe.

"We have a problem…" Brooke said waving her hands in the air as she paced up and down the tiled floor.

"Is this about the other day? Haley asked.

"No I already told you I am fine with that, well I am not fine, but that's the least of my problems right now"

"Ok just take a deep breath, now what's wrong?"

"Where do I even start?"

"From the beginning would be a good place…"

"Not enough time tutorgirl. Can you believe the nerve of that slut?"

"Brooke she's not a S-L-U-T"

"Excuse me, what?" Brooke said as she momentarily stopped pacing to stare at her friend.

"Sorry habit I guess" Haley shrugged realising what Brooke meant. She and Nathan had made a conscious effort to not say bad words around James, that hadn't really been a problem for her but for Nathan it had been more of a challenge. In the end they had opted to simply spell the words and although it did work in the beginning James was certainly mature before his time and quickly picked up on the words.

"Whatever you say Hales but we both know she is. I mean who goes around restaurants scribbling numbers on napkins and basically offering themselves on a plate" Brooke said as she began pacing once more, her breathing was a lot faster. Haley frowned at her friend, she had seen Brooke upset, angry even, but this was a whole different scenario and she wasn't sure how to deal with the swirl of emotions presenting themselves in front of her. She had to know what the cause for her sudden change in behaviour was first before she could help.

"OK so what's the problem?" Haley asked as she stepped so she was standing directly in front of Brooke . Watching her pace up and down was making her dizzy and it certainly wasn't helping anyone.

"It's big, and I mean really, really big. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean I thought I was past this but now I'm not so sure. What the hell am I going to do" Brooke said waving her hands in the air

"Brooke just tell me, whatever it is we can deal with it."

Brooke turned away from Haley and began to check each cubicle one by one to check they were all empty.

"I think…" Brooke began but then stopped unsure of how to actually say it.

"You're going to have to give me a little more…" Haley joked and offered a small smile to her friend.

"I think maybe that there is a tiny little chance that… I'm still in love with Lucas" Brooke blurted it out, and the minute she had she wished she could have taken it back. I mean it was absurd right? She couldn't seriously still love him could she?

"You're in love with Lucas" Haley repeated what the brunette had just told her rather loudly in disbelief.

"Yeah why don't you say it a little louder as I don't think they heard you back at the table" Brooke said as she raised her hands to cover her face.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, but I mean I'm just a little shocked that's all…" Haley said still standing in exactly the same spot. She knew Brooke had struggled with the whole moving on part and she had suspected that there might be something still there but this, well this was definitely not what she was expecting.

"Think how I feel" Brooke replied, she wasn't sure how to feel, part of her was happy, because after all when you love someone that is how they are meant to make you feel. But a bigger part of her was scared, scared of being hurt like before, scared of opening her heart to him again, and then the fear was turning into anger, anger at him for having this hold over her, for causing all that hurt in the past and for making her so scared to actually love him. But the person she was angriest at was herself. She had never let go, it sounded stupid, but she had tried, so hard, but no matter what she did it always came back to him, somehow it just always did. Even when she had cut him out of her life she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him, he was always in her heart. She was angry that she wasn't able to control how she felt, that she was putting herself in the firing line once more and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She couldn't help who she loved, but that didn't stop her wishing that she could.

"So… when did this happen… I mean when did you realise?" Haley stuttered trying to comprehend the situation.

"I don't know I mean I was just sitting there and then the slut came over and I actually felt jealous, crazy I know, I mean can you actually believe that, me jealous of _her_" Brooke cried in disbelief. She wasn't even sure why she was jealous, it wasn't like Lucas had any feelings for that girl, they had just met after all. But just seeing him with her and watching her flirt with him made her realise the reason why she didn't like the blonde was not because she looked like a hooker, but because it was Lucas she was flirting with.

"Are you sure it wasn't just something else?" Haley said knowing how the brunette had mistaken her feelings before for something else.

"I know how I feel Haley, like when he touches my hand, my heart skips a beat and his smell when he is close to me……uh it's driving me insane" Brooke shook her head as she tried to get out of head how insanely good he smelt just a couple of minutes earlier.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know…" Brooke replied honesty, she had only just managed to actually say she was still in love with him to herself, she certainly wasn't about to go out there and declare her love for him. She may be a little crazy at times but she was not insane, not yet anyway.

"Are you going to tell him?" Haley replied now thinking of the repercussions this could have. Of course she wanted both Brooke and Lucas to be happy and she had no doubt that Lucas would be over the moon to hear that Brooke was still in love with him, _but _there was still the matter of the book, and she had a terrible feeling that it would drive a wedge between the two of them. It was possible that Brooke would be fine with the book and actually would like the whole laying his heart on the line in his book for her but it was also possible she would be furious that he had kept this from her and hadn't told her the truth. She hated to think it but she had a feeling Brooke would go with the latter, if it was one thing Brooke didn't like it was lies and she couldn't blame her for that, when both Peyton and Lucas, the two closest people to her had betrayed her in such a way it was bound to have a lasting effect on her.

"It's still sinking in for me, there is no way I am can tell him"

"So what now?"

"I guess I just carry on as normal" Brooke shrugged not sure that she had any other options. She wasn't telling Lucas how she felt, not now anyway, so there wasn't really anything else for her to do.

"Brooke you can't keep hiding how you feel" Haley said putting her arm around the brunette. She knew Brooke was scared, I mean of course she was, and she had every right to be after what she had been through with Lucas. But hiding how she felt in the long-term was not going to do her any good and she was just setting herself up for more hurt.

"I'm not, I'm just giving myself a bit more time, that's all"

"You're scared" Haley said faintly.

Brooke hesitated, "Maybe,………but can you blame me?"

"I guess not" Haley said as the door swung open and a lady somewhere in her 50's entered "Look we should probably get back out there, they'll probably be wondering what's taking us so long" Haley reasoned.

"Can't we just stay in here?" Brooke asked hopefully

"Brooke come on" Haley replied knowing that the fear was now getting the better of her friend.

"But how am I going to manage to spend the rest of tonight next to him Haley?" Brooke whined.

"Hey you're the one who won't tell him how you feel…"

"Gee thanks for being so sympathetic" Brooke said rolling her eyes as she made her way past Haley and pushed the door open.

"Come on, move it Tutormom"

"So the girls are taking a long time, huh…" Lucas commented as he struggled to come up with a conversation topic. The tension could have been cut with a knife. He knew his little brother didn't think too highly of him at that particular moment in time but there really wasn't much he could do about that. Although that didn't stop him wishing that he could.

He couldn't change the past, what was done was done, he was suffering the consequences of his own actions anyway so it wasn't like he was getting away with anything. He had never meant to hurt Brooke, or Peyton for that matter, all he had ever done was try to do what was right, and yet somewhere along the line things had gone horrible wrong and the two people who he had tried desperately hard to please and keep happy had been the ones hurt. Who would have thought that all the time he thought he was protecting and keeping them from harms way that in the end it would be he who would be the one to inflict the most pain on the pair?

"Yeah girl stuff I guess" Nathan shrugged and went back to eating his meal. He didn't mean to be rude, his brother was paying for the meal after all, but he had a feeling that if he allowed himself to be drawn into conversation with the older Scott then he would end up saying something he might end up regretting. He had told Haley he would behave and try to get a long with his brother but it was already proving harder than he imagined. It wasn't that he didn't love his brother, he did, but that didn't mean he had to like what his brother had done or was doing. If his brother would just be honest with himself and the ones around him then maybe Nathan could have understood but it was hard to have any sympathy for someone who had said they had learnt from their past and yet the evidence was suggesting otherwise, if Lucas had learned from past mistakes then why was he still lying? Surely if there had been any lesson learned it would have been not to cheat obviously, but most importantly, not to lie. When the lies start that is when you are asking for trouble as they had a terrible way of catching up with you and hurting those around you. Nathan just hoped with all his heart that Lucas's lies were not going to hurt the people around him, people he cared about.

"So…" Lucas began trying to think of something, anything, to say. Truth be told he wasn't sure why he was even bothering too as Nathan was clearly more interested in his food than him.

"What are you doing with Brooke?" Nathan suddenly spoke up catching his brother off guard.

"What?" Lucas choked out as he swallowed.

"I said what are you doing with Brooke?" Nathan repeated, his tone now a lot harsher than before.

"Nothing, I am not doing anything with Brooke" Lucas replied rather taken back by his brother's protectiveness.

"I swear Lucas if you hurt her again" Nathan said threateningly. He was fed up of everyone treating his brother like a saint when clearly he wasn't. Had anyone else behaved in the way his brother had towards those two girls he was sure people would not have been so forgiving. But as it was Lucas Scott, the nice guy, it was all ok, forgiven, just like that!

"I won't ok, I won't" Lucas replied defensively.

"That's what you said last time…" Nathan added. Lucas may have been able to get round the others with his words but Nathan knew him better than that, they were brothers after all and he wasn't about to let his brother sweet talk his way out of this.

"Look first of all I don't understand what it has to with you when it comes to what happens between me and Brooke and second, I already told you nothing is going on" Lucas said getting rather sick of his brother's sudden protectiveness. He knew people cared about Brooke, and Peyton for that matter, he cared about both of them deeply himself, but who did his brother think he was lecturing him on how he lived his life! He was trying to fix his mistakes, why couldn't his brother just let him get on with it.

Nathan was about to reply when Lucas spoke once more

"Ah their back" Lucas said unable to hide the delight in his voice at the two women breaking up the conversation he was having with his brother. Nathan turned his head to see the two women make their way back to the table.

"Sorry we took so long" Haley said taking her seat next to Nathan

"There was a line up…" Brooke quickly added. Before anyone else had a chance to speak a ringing could be heard.

"Oh that's me" Nathan said reaching into his left pocket and pulling out his cell, "Sorry but I have to take this" Nathan added once he looked at the caller ID

"You didn't think to at least turn it down in a restaurant?" Haley said shaking her head at her husband. They always made sure at least one of them at their cells switched on incase the babysitter needed to get in touch but she always made sure to at least turn down the volume so she didn't disrupt anyone else, especially in an high scale restaurant like the one they were currently occupying.

"So what did the two of you talk about while we were gone?" Haley asked turning her attention back to Lucas.

"Oh you know the usual, basketball" Lucas replied, "You two" he added casually.

"Joke" he said quickly noting the scowl his best friend was giving him.

"Ha-ha very funny"

"Brooke are you ok?" Lucas asked as he realised that since rejoining the table Brooke had hardly spoke and for her that meant something was definitely up. Usually they couldn't shut her up.

"Yeah everything is fine…" She said taking another swig of her wine.

"You sure?" He persisted knowing she was lying, not only was she not talking and not her bubbly self but she seemed to be somewhat drowning her sorrows with the wine.

"Yeah really I am great. I think we might need more wine though" She said as she poured the last of the bottle into her glass.

Lucas looked at her worriedly unsure of what was wrong with her or what he could do. He looked at his best-friend for answers but all she could offer him was a simple shrug. What had changed in the last 10 minutes?

"I have to go" Nathan said he finally made his way back to the table by which time Brooke was now making her way through her second bottle of wine. She was the only one drinking white wine as Haley was going to be driving which meant she was drinking the whole bottle herself.

"Please tell me that was not the babysitter just now" Haley said looking up worriedly at her husband.

"Ok that was not the babysitter"

"I can't believe it, James is acting up again isn't he!" Haley said shaking her head in disbelief. She had hoped for one night, one single night, that her son might actually manage to behave for the babysitter. _She was wrong_

"Look its ok, I'm just going to get a cab and you can stay here and enjoy the rest of the meal" Nathan actually rather glad of the interruption, he had been waiting for an excuse to leave ever since they had arrived and now here it was.

"No, I'm coming with you" She said as she slipped on her jacket that she had placed round the back of her chair.

"Well if they are going then maybe we should call it a night" Brooke spoke up seizing on the opportunity.

"No you two should stay, don't let us ruin your night" Nathan quickly replied.

"Nate's right, anyway we haven't even had dessert yet…" Lucas added slightly surprised that his brother was actually helping him out.

"Well we better go, here are the keys to the car" Nathan said sliding the keys to the car across the table.

"You might aswell take it, I mean neither of us can drive now anyway" Lucas replied as he slid the keys back to his brother. Brooke was in no fit state to drive, she wasn't drunk but she would definitely be over the limit and she was still drinking as he spoke.

"Right well we better go before James does anything else" Nathan said picking up the keys from the table and turning to leave.

Brooke shot Haley one last desperate look, hoping her friend would answer her plea and save her from the situation she was now in……

But all her friend could offer her was a simple 'sorry' as she mouthed the word before turning to follow her husband.

* * *

**Please review x x x**


	20. The Power Of Brooke Davis

**Sorry it's taken me so long. But better late than never!**

* * *

"So just the two of us then" Lucas said as he shifted seats so he was now facing her.

"I guess so…" She stared down at the tablecloth focusing on the smallest of things, anything to keep her from looking into those gorgeous blue eyes.

There was a time when she would have done anything to get a chance to look deep into those eyes of his once more. When she looked into them they just gave her this feeling like everything was going to be ok, that she was _safe_. And when he looked at her it was like he completely saw her, he saw past the barriers she put up and the fake smiles, he got her, and there was no feeling like that. To know that he saw the real her, it didn't matter what other people thought, as long as he knew the truth then that was all that mattered. Of course he didn't know her at all, not really anyway. When it really mattered, when she really needed him to see past what she was saying, see past all the crap and see how badly she needed him, he wasn't there, he didn't fight for her again, he just turned and walked away, and that was when she knew she had to try and move on.

"Well how about dessert? I think they have your favourite…" Lucas said trying to start some sort of conversation or at least get her to look up. She was driving him crazy, something had changed. Sure there had been awkwardness between them but this was different. She was hardly talking, she wouldn't look at him, she was drinking quite heavily, fair enough Brooke did like a few drinks, but he hadn't seen her drink like this in a long time. Something was wrong.

"Which is?" She asked quietly still refusing to look up and instead was running her finger along the pattern of the tablecloth.

"Strawberry cheesecake." He stated as if it should be obvious to anyone.

"I'm impressed" She said, eyes still firmly on the table. She hadn't expected him to remember, she figured he would have forgotten a lot of things like that by now.

"As if I could forget." He sighed as he thought back, "Do you remember that night that you refused to have sex til I ran out to the store to get you some?" He chucked to himself although at the time it certainly was far from funny, well for him anyway.

Her eyes quickly shifted from the table to his eyes without her even realising. He had got her and she hadn't even noticed.

"Hey I was hungry, I hadn't eaten all day and it's not as if I didn't reward you in the end" She said trying to defend her actions.

"From what I remember the sex was pretty good that night" A cheeky grin now appearing on his face

"What can I say, I aim to please" Brooke smirked. The thought of Lucas thinking back to them being together that night maybe should have made her feel somewhat uncomfortable but for some reason it didn't. She wasn't sure if it was because she liked the idea that she was still in his head and that he was picturing her or if it was simply because she remembered that night too. The way his body felt against hers, the way his hair smelt, the taste of his lips, everything.

She remembered it all.

---------

"I was wondering if you could tell me which table the Scotts are at?" Peyton asked "Or it might be under Davis" she quickly added, the nerves really starting to build up now. What did she have to be nervous about anyway? It was only dinner. And they were her friends, well they used to be, could she even still call any of them her friend?

"Right this way miss" She followed the man in a black suit. Brooke had called her earlier leaving her a message saying where they were going if she changed her mind. That was Brooke for you, even when you said no she never stopped trying. But Peyton couldn't help but question her friend's motives. Did Brooke want her to come because she really wanted her friend and for them all to be together…..or was this all about easing Brooke's guilt about how they lost touch and Brooke feeling sorry for her?

"Actually you know what, it doesn't matter" Peyton said coming to an abrupt halt upon seeing two of her friends at a table near the window. The funny thing was she wasn't even surprised to see the two of them together alone, it oddly looked right.

"Would you like me to take a message" The man said turning now to face her.

"No I……I uh just made a mistake" She quickly turned and ran as fast as she could to the door. She just had to get out. She wasn't sure why she was running, all she knew was that she needed to get away. She let out a deep breath she didn't even realise she was holding in as the cool air hit her face. Her problem wasn't seeing Lucas and Brooke together, it was more, much more. The two of them had looked so at ease with one another, and Lucas, he was actually smiling, she hadn't seen him smile like that in a long time, they seemed so comfortable together, she wasn't there and it didn't seem to matter. It didn't even look like she was being missed at all. The three of them had had their ups and downs over the years, that was for sure, and even at times got too close to one another, but she had never really felt like the outsider before, well not like this anyway. It wasn't that she still wanted Lucas, because she didn't, but more the fact that she wanted her friends back and it seemed they didn't even care that she was not there.

---

"So how are your mom and Lily?" Brooke asked as she took another spoonful of cheesecake. Completely unaware that a matter of seconds ago her best friend had been a matter of yards away from their table.

"They're good"

"Is your mom still working in the Café?"

He hesitated, "Not as much as she used to" Brooke looked at him worriedly, if it hadn't been for his hesitation then she wouldn't have thought anything of it but it seemed there may be a little more to it.

"I guess she just wants to spend as much time as she can with Lily. I mean what with her being a single parent" Lucas added noting the worried expression on Brooke's face

"You only had one parent" She shrugged not seeing the problem. She had two parents, if you could even call them that, and yet that hadn't made any difference to her at all, infact she had done a hell of a lot better without them. Sure it's nice to have two parents, be a proper family, but who said that just because someone only had one parent that they didn't have as much love and attention. Her parents had not showed her half as much as the love Lucas received from Karen. It seemed silly to measure love and say this person loves this one more, but the fact was her parents really had not showed they cared at all, no signs, nothing. Karen showed how much she cared and loved Lucas on a daily basis, even when she was angry with him or disappointed with him, at least she cared.

"No I didn't……..I had Keith" Lucas gulped, it sounded strange, 4 ½ years on and it was still hard for him to talk about him, especially after finding out Dan killed him. He would never forget Keith, that he knew for sure, Lily was there as a constant reminder of him and for that he was very grateful. He just wished sometimes that Keith was here, that he could see him one last time, that Keith could see Lily grow up, this his mom would not be alone.

"Well Lily has you" Brooke said catching him by surprise as she then took another bite of dessert.

"I try to be there as much as I can you know……….but it's just not the same, I can't measure up to him Brooke. I just can't". Emotion clear in his voice.

"Stop being so hard on yourself, you don't have to be exactly like Keith Lucas, you are your own person. He wouldn't want you to be his clone. He would want you to forge your own path, just like you are doing. Keith wasn't some saint Lucas, he made mistakes, just like the rest of us, just like you. And I guarantee that wherever he is right now, he is very very proud."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now eat up or I'm coming over there to finish it for you!" Brooke joked.

He couldn't help but smile at the brunette. People really did underestimate her, she may not be the most intelligent or the most articulate person in the world, but she had this amazing heart and to him that was the greatest quality a person could possess. She had a way of picking people up when they were down, her laughter and smile were infectious. Just one smile and he already felt better, that was all it took, that was the power of Brooke Davis.

-

"Your mom must be so proud of you" Brooke said as she scraped the remainder of her dessert onto her spoon. Lucas looked up at her unsure of how to respond.

"Looking after Lily and James, they are lucky to have you." Brooke added, "I always knew you would be good with kids" She said and then quickly diverted her eyes before his had a chance to catch hers. She threw what was left in her glass down her throat trying to ease her nerves.

"Ok so this might be the drink talking now but when we were together did you ever… ..actually you know what? It doesn't matter" She shook her head not quite believing that she was actually talking out loud and that she was seriously going to ask him that.

"No, go on" He urged her to continue, rather curious as to what she was going to say.

"Did you ever think about the future?" She said tilting her head to the side and looking directly at him.

"What do you mean?" He said refusing to break eye contact with her.

"Like did you ever think about where you would live, would you get married… have kids?" Only just managing to squeeze out the last word as a lump now formed in her throat as she awaited a response.

"Yeah I guess" He paused and looked down at the able and then quickly looked back up at her unable to stop himself from asking. "Did you?"

"Oh look at that my glass is empty" She said shaking her glass and waving it a little in the air. She knew it was a lame attempt to avoid the question but she was put on the spot and it was all she could come up with. It sounded silly but when she had asked him she had hoped that he would have given her a little more in his answer, instead all she got was a 'yeah I guess', that could mean anything right? It could mean he thought about his life with Peyton, his life with her, his life with someone else or maybe that he had only briefly thought about it and didn't really think about any details. Why were guys so vague!

"Brooke" He said softly, gently placing his hand on her arm.

She hesitated and looked down at the arm that was now touching hers, she slowly withdrew her arm from his touch and began.

"I was the party girl you know, the fun one, never missed a good party. And maybe I didn't think about the future back then but then… you came along… and I guess everything just seemed to change." Still staring at her empty glass, she wished that it was full and that she could take back this whole conversation. Why was it that she was the one to ask the question hoping for answers and yet she was the one confessing and talking about how she felt? Life was so unfair.

He listened to her words carefully, 'but then you came along'. How could he have been so stupid as to let her go, she would have given him everything he ever wanted, he could have been so happy with her but he had made his decision to be with Peyton and now he had to live with the consequences.

"I think I need another drink" Brooke sighed as she slouched back in the chair wanting the ground below her to just open up and swallow her whole.

---------

"I feel bad leaving Brooke there" Haley said as she pulled up at a stop sign. She knew it wasn't her problem but this was about two of her closest friends, it was impossible for her not to care.

"Hales, Brooke is a big girl, she can take care of herself." Nathan said reassuringly, he knew his wife was just worried about Brooke, and he was too, but it was up to Brooke and Lucas to figure our what was going to happen and they had to stay out of it. But if Lucas did step out of line again Nathan was not going to stand by and let him get away with it, and if it was Peyton instead of Brooke then the same applied. He was fed up seeing the hurt and destruction his brother had caused to those girls, it had to end.

"I hope you are right"

-

"Oops, I am so sorry" Brooke said as she accidentally knocked over the near empty bottle of wine they had placed on the table.

"It's ok, I got it" Lucas said quickly grabbing for the napkins to try and mop up the mess on the table.

"Stop" Brooke said reaching for his arm before he touched the spilt wine.

"What, what's wrong" Lucas said worriedly

"Her number, that girl's number, it's on…." She said gesturing to the napkin he was about to use to soak up the wine. She wasn't sure why she was even pointing it out, it's not like she even liked the girl.

"You had me worried it was something important" Lucas smiled and then continued to dab at the spilt wine with the napkins.

"So are you're not going to call her then?" Brooke asked doing her best not to seem as if she cared as she took a sip from her glass.

"Nah" He said not being able to help notice the tint if happiness in her voice. He never had any intention of calling the girl, she certainly wasn't his type that was for sure.

"Aw why not? She was hot" Brooke asked unable to stop herself from smiling

"Yeah and so not my type" He added.

"So what ugly is now your type?" Brooke asked, she wasn't sure why she was even carrying on the conversation, what was she trying to do? Talk him into going out with the girl? No she couldn't be, that would be crazy.

Lucas didn't talk, he just continued to stare at the brunette, the thing was she had had so much to drink that she didn't even seem to realise he was staring directly at her.

Suddenly Brooke expression changed. _She_ was the reason why he wasn't going to call the girl, it all made sense now, that had to be it. Why else would Lucas Scott turn the girl down? She was offering herself to him, and here she was standing in his way.

"Oh my gosh. Please say you're not staying for me. If you want to go then go" She was not about to be pitied by Lucas Scott, she didn't need someone constantly by her side, she was quite capable of looking after herself which she had proved on several occasions.

"Brooke I really, really don't want to call her," He said although unable to hide his smile from her. How could she even think that he would be interested in the blonde?

"Are you sure?" She said still unconvinced, maybe if he hadn't been smiling then she would have been able to take him seriously but all he was doing was making her unsure.

"Positive, I would much rather just go home, and crash on my couch" He answered honestly, although he wished that she would join him, he wouldn't mind having her sleep on him as he lay on the couch. He smiled to himself as that image appeared in his head

"Just for the record, I am glad you put me above some hoe" Brooke said giving him a small smile

"As if there was ever any doubt."

"You know what?" Brooke said suddenly changing her focus

"What?" Lucas said rather bemused.

"I think the restaurant is trying to get us drunk"

Lucas just looked at her as if she had gone crazy and let out a small laugh. "Trying? I think they have already succeeded…"

"No really, they come along give us a bottle, we drink it, they take the empty bottle away, bring us another."

"Yeah usually that does happen Brooke, its kind of standard policy to remove empty bottles" He said as he looked on in amusement, she never ceased to make him laugh.

"Yeah but then how are you meant to know how much you have had? For all I know this could be the second bottle, or the 3rd or the 4th, I mean how do we know?" She said deadly serious, amazed that he found this funny.

"Well you see usually people don't drink that much so usually they can remember what they have had. And second, that is what the bill is for" He said waving the piece of paper that the waiter had just placed on the table.

"Oh aren't you Mr Smarty Pants" Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Then I guess that would make you Miss Everything is a Conspiracy" He countered

"That's not a name" She shook her head

"Yes it is"

"No it's not" She said refusing to give in although she was beginning to wonder what exactly she was meant to be arguing about.

"I say it is" If it had been anyone else he probably would have given in by now, but this was Brooke, and he knew how much she loved to win arguments so he was determined to not give in. Seeing her get all hot and bothered was just too amusing to watch.

"Is that all you got Mr Writer?" Brooke asked rather unimpressed.

"As a matter of fact yes, it is."

"Well I must say I am disappointed." Lucas just looked on and laughed, it was impossible to take offence to her comments, he knew there was no malice in them and that she was far too drunk to take anything that she had to say seriously.

They had called a cab rather than walking, neither were in any fit state to walk back to the apartment and they knew it. Plus Brooke had already reminded him 7 times that her shoes were killing her before he had even called for the cab. Brooke had spent most of the cab ride leaning on his shoulder and had fallen asleep within two minutes of leaving the restaurant but then the cab had come to a halt like all good moments, it was forced to come to an end. He had been forced to wake her even though he hadn't wanted to disturb her. In other circumstances he would have even be tempted to carry her up but this time he had decided against it. As he shook her gently she began to come to and pulled herself out of the cab.

"I think I had a little too much to drink" Brooke said as she staggered up the stairs quickly clinging onto Lucas as she stumbled. He glanced at the arm now clutching his. "I thought Brooke Davis could handle her drink"

"I can and anyway you're hardly sober" She said quickly removing her arm as they reached the top of the stairs and determined to prove she could stand on her own.

"Yeah but the difference is you are practically half my size and you drank way more than I did" He reasoned as he turned the key and opened the door for her to enter.

"So this was your plan huh? Keep filling my glass, get me drunk and lure me back to your bed…"

"Me? Never" He replied playing along. He loved how she got these crazy ideas when she was drunk, although he certainly wouldn't have minded the end part coming true.

"Lucas Scott I thought you were more inventive than that!" She swatted him on the arm.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah I mean lots of guys have tried and succeeded at getting me drunk, but you…" She hesitated causing him to frown, "I just thought you might possess some of the old Lucas Scott charm that's all. The Lucas Scott that used to make me feel butterflies in my stomach, the Lucas Scott that swept me off my feet, the Lucas Scott who gave me countless surprises. But do you know what's funny?"

"What?" He asked as she fell down onto the couch and slipped off her shoes.

"You still make me nervous. Just being around _you_…"

"And why do you think that is?" He couldn't stop himself from asking, to say he was intrigued would be an understatement. Maybe just maybe, there was a chance that she might still feel something too. He placed himself on the couch so he was right beside her.

"I don't know, maybe it's our history and…."She suddenly leapt up, his closeness causing her to feel rather uncomfortable all of a sudden, "maybe this is none of your business". She smiled weakly and disappeared off into the kitchen leaving him to digest what had just been said.

* * *

**So that's it. I hope you liked it. I will try to update quicker than I have been recently. Please review, you don't have to but it's always nice to hear what people actually think. x x x**


	21. Stay With Me

**Hey**

**Just wanted to thank you all for the reviews, it's great to know people are enjoying it so please keep them coming.**

**The usual thanks to Jenna for helping me, she is an absolute star :) And also thank you to Laura for working through some ideas with me.**

**On with the chapter...**

* * *

"I want to kiss you" Brooke unexpectedly blurted out.

She hadn't meant to say it out loud but clearly she accidently had. She had been staring at him continuously for the last 5 minutes, examining each one of his features, his chiselled jaw, up to his oh so kissable lips, past his nose and onto those icy blue eyes of his.

But his eyes were anything but cold.

In his eyes she could see such warmth, and strangely as she looked into those eyes of his which were now staring back at her she found herself melting, all her fears and insecurities just fading away. Here she was one on one, both of them somewhat drunk, her clearly more than him, but nevertheless here they were. Two former lovers, feelings running deep and neither sure what the night still had in store for them. She had told Lucas on many occasions that his best feature was his eyes but this only caused him to laugh and become embarrassed. Sitting here, facing him she knew she had been right all along. His eyes held so much power; one look could say and do more than words ever could.

"Excuse me?" He stuttered, clearly taken aback by her little outburst. For the last 5 minutes the brunette had hardly broken her gaze from him and he would have been lying had he said he hadn't felt uncomfortable. She had been staring at him as if he had a bit of food on his teeth or a strand of hair out of place, he wasn't sure what it was that had caused her to stare but it had definitely made him feel uneasy. And he had thought that it couldn't get much worse than it was at that moment. And then she had said it.

Normally he would have been happy and jumped at the chance to kiss her; she was after all the girl of his dreams. This however, wasn't a normal situation and certainly wasn't right. Sure he loved her, and yes he wanted to kiss her and to be able to feel her lips touch his once more, but this was all wrong. She was drunk and so was he to a certain extent. It would be wrong to even think about going there. Chances were she would regret it if anything were to happen between them tonight and he just couldn't live with that. Having that feeling that it was all going to be ok and that everything was perfect only for it to be snatched away from him like that, he just couldn't do it, his heart could not take that.

And just with those two words from his lips she realised that her insecurities had never left her at all. "I-uh- I thought that maybe that you might want to……..." She trailed off as her nerves started to get the best of her. "I mean it's not like we haven't kissed before" Brooke said suggestively as she attempted to regain her composure and shifted from her chair onto the couch so they were now side by side, her knee grazing his as she made herself comfortable and stared down at the carpeted floor.

She had never really been good at being rejected, truth was that she hadn't really had much experience at it so it was still rather hard to take on the rare occasion it did happen. But out of the times when she had been rejected this probably felt one of the worse. It was different when it was some random stranger who didn't want to sleep with you, that could have been for any number of reasons or simply because they weren't attracted to her. The main thing was though that in those cases feelings weren't involved, it wasn't like she really cared about any of the strangers, because that was exactly what they were, strangers, and they meant nothing to her. Lucas on the other hand, definitely meant something, and after her the last few days she had been so sure that she felt something still there between them. Clearly she had misread the signs. Brooke Davis the master when it came to reading the signs and body language well and truly had read this one all wrong.

"No… I mean yes, of course I want to kiss you but not like this" He corrected himself as he realised she now thought he wasn't interested which couldn't have been further from the truth.

"I can't believe I asked you that, god! Why I am so stupid?" She said mentally hitting herself. Why the hell did she keep doing this to herself, she planned to take this one slow, wait and see how it all panned out, wait and see how he left and now here she was tasting the bitter taste of rejection, a taste which she had been so determined to avoid. She could put a large amount of her behaviour down to the drink, that was easy, but at some point she was going to start learning from her mistakes and making sure not to keep putting herself through this.

"You are not stupid… just very, very drunk…" He laughed trying his best to lighten the mood. The fact was that she was very drunk. When they had returned to his apartment she had begun to sober up, that was until she insisted on opening another bottle of wine. And despite his best attempts at telling her she had probably had enough and it was best saved for another night, she had simply brushed past him and continued to search for the corkscrew. One thing he knew was that you didn't at the best of times argue with Brooke Davis, especially when she was drunk!

"I'm not that drunk. I know _exactly_ what I'm saying Lucas" Brooke said. She knew she had had a lot to drink but she meant what she had said. She had wanted to kiss him, she still did, but clearly he didn't feel the same way. Maybe she had misread the signs after all. She didn't know many single guys who would turn down a hot leggy blonde who was basically offering herself to him on a plate to stay with a _friend_ that was for sure. And he could have easily called it a night and left when Haley and Nathan had and just like she had suggested, but no, he wanted to stay. And he was the one who had been filling her glass all night and telling her how beautiful she was. Was she losing her touch? She could have sworn he had been doing some serious eye flirting over dinner, maybe she had drunk more than she had thought, maybe Lucas was right.

He decided to pretend that he had not heard her last comment, he would have loved to be able to believe everything she was saying but she has drunk a lot and he wasn't allowing himself to get his hopes up only for them not to be knocked straight back down in the morning. "Look why don't you go to bed, it's been a long night" He said patting her knee hoping to reassure her, the last thing he wanted was for her to feel any sense of embarrassment.

A smile quickly appeared on the brunettes face. "See I knew that was your plan!"

He looked at her truly lost for words but before he had a chance to respond the brunette spoke.

"Joke" She laughed and pointed at him, his face an absolute picture.

"Oh that was so funny" He said rolling his eyes at Brooke's sense of humour.

"I think you are going to have to carry me though" She leaned over so her head was now resting on his shoulder as if she was struggling to keep her head upright as she was so tired. He tried turning to head a little to the left so he could see her face, and sure enough there it was, the classic Brooke Davis take pity on me and do as I say look. And he knew like on all other past occasions that he would be unable to resist and would cave.

"And what is wrong with using your legs?" He asked determined to at least put up a little fight and not give in to her so soon.

"Well, they are tired and you made me walk up all those steps" She said as she managed to raise her head off of his shoulder, which just so happened to have been extremely comfortable. She gazed longingly at him and fluttered her eyes at him, knowing that by now there was no way he could say no to her. She knew when she had got men right where she wanted him, and Lucas was definitely at that point.

"Yeah you kind of had to unless you wanted to sleep on the sidewalk"

"Please" She pleaded one last time but already knowing he had caved, even if he hadn't actually said so.

"Fine but don't ever say I don't do anything for you" He sighed and rose to his feet so he was able to scoop the petite brunette into his arms.

"Stay with me" Brooke pouted as he laid her on the king size bed.

"Is that another joke?" he smiled as he looked down at the brunette who was stretched out over his bed.

"Please" She tried again, she was far from joking. She was so used to sleeping alone, even Ryan hadn't shared her bed recently, and to tell the truth she was getting sick and tired of being alone. "Just lay with me" It wasn't like she wanted him to sleep with her, all she wanted some company, for one night to not feel so alone.

Every night in the last few months had pretty much been the same, she had turned off the light, curled up in her bed, and every night a deep feeling of loneliness had crept into her, some nights more than others. The minute that light was switched off the feeling often hit her, knowing that she didn't have anyone to cuddle up to, knowing that if she rolled over there would just be an empty space. If it was one think she hated it was being lonely.

"I am not sure that is such a good idea" Lucas said as he made his way back to the door. He really didn't want to do anything he would regret and more importantly anything she would regret. At least at the moment he had her friendship if nothing else and he wasn't about to risk that, not now at least.

"You know how much I hate sleeping alone" She whined. "Look my side, your side, simple" She said as she patted the empty space beside her.

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly.

"We're friends right? So unless you have a problem…"

"No… no I just didn't want to make things awkward between us that's all" He explained as he slowly made his way over to his side of the bed, still rather unsure of whether he was crossing the line.

"Good now get in" Brooke said happily as she pulled the sheets over her.

"Aren't you getting undressed?" She asked, even though her eyes were now shut she could feel him getting in and there was no way he had had time to change out of his clothes.

"Actually I'm a little cold" He lied. The main reason for keeping his shirt and the rest of his clothes on had actually been that he was hoping that way it would be a lot harder for anything to happen, as if fully clothed he would be able to control himself and prevent her from getting any ideas while the alcohol was still very much in her blood.

"Suit yourself, but I'm boiling" She huffed, as she bolted up and began to pull her dress up over her head and tossed the garment to the floor.

Although it was dark he could see the outline of her petite frame and having her lying next to him half naked was driving him crazy. He wasn't even sure she had any idea of the effect she was having on him. He tried rolling over onto his side so he was the furthest he could be away from her but all that led to was the brunette following and shifting even closer to him. So much for his side!

---

"Lucas" Karen called as she entered the apartment, she placed the bag of groceries she had bought for him on the counter in the kitchen. She hadn't heard from him since that night when they had argued and he had found out Brooke was coming home. She wasn't sure if he was avoiding her or not, so she had decided to make the first step and had brought groceries as a kind of piece offering. Although he liked to think of himself as independent and for the most part he was, she still worried, that night when he had been standing in her house he looked pale and strained as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. So here she was, doing what mothers do, looking out for her son.

She passed through the rooms wondering where her son was and soon came to his bedroom door. She quietly opened the door being careful not to wake him, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight she was about to see.

Her eyes bulged. "I-uh" She struggled to find her words, to say she was stunned would be an understatement.

Brooke was wrapped up in the duvet and resting on her son's chest. She wasn't sure what had happened or what was going on, right at that moment she didn't even really care, all she knew was she needed to get out of there.

"Mom wait" Lucas said his mother's voice waking up from his sleep. He almost leapt up but soon realised that the weight on his chest was infact the brunettes head. He quickly but gently eased himself from beneath her, careful not to wake her and ran after his mother who by this time was already at the door.

"I think it's best I go" Karen said as her son appeared from the bedroom, right now she couldn't even look at him let alone talk to him and she was not about to have another argument with him.

"It's not what it looks like" He reasoned feeling that he needed to explain as his mother had clearly already formed some sort of judgement on what may or may not have happened last night.

"Lucas I love you I do but don't you dare lie to me. We have been through this all before, I just hope you know what you are doing. Please promise me you are not rushing into anything."

"Mom stop" He said stepping in front of her to prevent her from leaving. "Not that's it's any of your business but we didn't sleep together ok. She just didn't want to be alone"

"Oh" Quickly realising that she had added two plus two and managed to get five.

"Yeah oh, it's nice to know you think so highly of me, and what are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanted to see my son and I thought you were looking a little thin the other day so I brought you these" She said backing away and entering the kitchen to where she placed the bag of groceries

"Well thank you, although you know, I am a big boy now" He smiled feeling slightly bad for somewhat snapping at his mother. He knew she only meant well and given his history with Brooke it probably wasn't surprising that she had thought what she had.

"I know but that doesn't stop me worrying" She said engulfing him into a hug. "I've got to go, got some errands to run and then have to pick up Lily, but say hi to Brooke for me would you, and tell her to stop by if she has time."

Lucas watched as his mom quickly disappeared through the doorway. Her words still lingering in the air.

_We have been__ through this all before, I just hope you know what you are doing._

Did he really know what he was doing? He knew what he wanted, that much he was sure of. But what was he actually doing?

* * *

**So did you like it? I wasn't sure about the start but I think it works, I hope you agree. Anyway pleazse review and let me know what you think. Thank you x x x**


	22. Think Before You Speak

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews, I love reading them. Thanks to Jenna and Laura. Trying to update quicker than I have done of late so here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"You're awake" Lucas was surprised to see the brunette's eyes wide open as he re-entered the bedroom coffee mug in hand.

"Yeah…" Brooke replied softly pulling herself up so she was sitting upright. It had been rather hard not to hear the raised voices coming from the other room a matter of minutes ago and despite her best efforts to ignore them she had soon found herself listening in intently.

"I guess you heard…" He asked holding out the mug to her. He had hoped that his exchange with his mother would not have disturbed her but clearly he had not been so lucky.

"You know I think your mom likes me more than you" She joked as she pulled the duvet so it was wrapped tightly around her and then took the mug from him.

"Yeah my mum said to say hi" He said feeling rather awkward, it was hard to imagine that less than an hour ago he was wrapped up inside that duvet with her, their bodies side by side.

"Yeah I heard, I was actually thinking of stopping by today anyway" Brooke stated taking a sip of the warm liquid. When Lucas had talked about his mom and Lily last night at dinner she had made a mental note that she needed to make time to visit them. She hadn't seen Lily since she was a baby, and as she had not been home in the last four years the closest she had come to seeing Lily since she had been back was a picture that Lucas had in the apartment.

She knew Lucas was worried about Karen but personally she thought he was overreacting. Karen had always been very strong, and very independent, and she didn't see any reason why that would have changed in the last four years. So what if she was a single mother, it wasn't like she had done a bad job with Lucas even if she had had Keith there to help. And even without Keith around she was sure Karen would do a great job raising Lily.

"You really don't have to, I mean I am sure there are plenty of other things you want to do" Lucas spoke hesitantly. He wasn't sure why he was trying to discourage Brooke from going, it just felt odd. "No I really want to" She replied adamantly as she rested the mug on the bedside table and climbed out of bed.

He felt as if he should look away, after all the woman was hardly dressed, but he knew Brooke had never been ashamed of her body and just found himself looking on as she pulled on her robe which had been hanging on the back of the door and tied the belt tightly around her tiny waist.

"You sure?" She could still detect some uncertainty in his voice. She wasn't sure why he found it so hard to believe that she might actually want to spend time with his mother. It was almost like he had completely forgotten that she had once lived with Karen and developed a strong bond with her.

Obviously they had not remained as close as she had wanted to but when she and Lucas had parted ways the last thing she had wanted to do was make it harder than it already was. It wasn't like she would have been able to remain close to Karen and manage to stay out of Lucas's life, it would have been too hard to keep the two separate. And when he and Peyton had officially become an item she knew that she had to keep her distance. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Karen, because she did, the woman was more of a mother to her than her real one was and she loved having that parental figure to go to for support. But Peyton was Lucas's girlfriend at that time and it would have just made things awkward, she was still an ex after all and for any girlfriend, having one of your boyfriends exes hanging around all the time and spending time with his mother was a definite no no.

"Yes I'm sure, you know wanting to spend time with your mother is hardly the crime of the century."

Lucas sighed and dug his hands deep into the pockets of the pants he had been wearing the night before. "I know I just thought…" He trailed off realising that what was going through his head should probably be left there.

"What?" Brooke asked, refusing to let this one go. Maybe it was because her drinking from last night was starting to came back to haunt her and give her the headache from hell or possibly just the fact that she was fed up of people making assumptions about her. Who did they think they were thinking they should judge what she might or might not want to do, or whom she might or might not want to see? It was her life and she would do whatever the hell she wanted. Screw the rest of them! "That now I am a major fashion designer living the high life that I wouldn't have time for you little people?" The words escaped her mouth spitefully.

He could almost taste the bitterness of her voice.

"No, of course not." He replied, trying to smooth things over, but she knew he was lying simply through his failure to be able to look her in the eye. She looked at him and raised her eyebrow waiting for him to admit the truth.

He knew instantly she was silently calling him out. "Ok yeah, but can you blame me, I mean it's not as if you have been in touch over the last four years, is it?" If he was going down he was at least going down with a fight.

"Maybe not with you!" She countered snidely.

"Oh, so what about Peyton then huh? I mean considering you two were best friends, what possible reason could you have for that, something must have happened" He had wondered what had happened between the two best friends for a while but every time he approached the subject she quickly changed the topic of conversation.

"You're right, something did happen…" She said her voice dipping.

He let out a deep sigh. "Then tell me Brooke…" He just wished she didn't keep everything so bottled up, he wanted her to let her in, to know what he had missed out on the last four years, he wanted to know how she felt, what she was thinking, he wanted to know it all. If only she would let him in.

"You, ok! You happened Lucas!" Brooke yelled as she threw her arms up in the air. She hadn't meant to yell at him, but she just couldn't take any more. She usually thrived on confrontation, but this was not something she enjoyed at all. She hadn't expected Lucas to challenge her; she had wanted to just brush it under the carpet like she had done every other time the topic had been brought up. It was all his fault. If only he had just left it alone.

"But I don't understand…" He said rather stunned by her outburst. What did she mean _he_ happened? And what did he have to do with her and Peyton being in contact?

"I'm going to take a shower." Brooke said quickly, ending the conversation and exiting the room before he had a chance to say anything more. Unable to believe how dense he could be at times. For someone who was supposed to be an author, he certainly didn't have a great grasp of the english language when arguing with a woman.

-----------

"You going somewhere?" He asked as the brunette appeared from the bedroom now fully dressed and purse in hand.

"Yeah you know places to go people to see." She replied coldly as she made her way past the blonde. She had jumped in the shower and when she had emerged he had been sitting on the couch watching something or other. She had then quickly slipped through to the bedroom, got dressed and now here she was.

"Don't you think we should talk?" He said, quickly moving back past her and blocking her exit. He couldn't just let her leave, not like this. Sure she was still staying with him but he knew that the longer he left it the worse it would get, and then before he knew it she would be back in New York and it could be another 4 years before he saw her again, maybe even longer. "Not really, no" She said attempting to get around him but having little success.

"Don't be like this" He said frustration getting the better of him. He hated this. He hated her being so cold and feeling like he just could not get through to her.

"Like what?" She said playing dumb. Of course she knew exactly what she was doing, that was half of the fun.

"Look I'm sorry, ok?" Lucas attempted to make amends.

Instead of him making her feel better or calming her down he only aggravated her further. "That's great Lucas, really it is, but the thing is I don't think you actually know what you are apologising for." If he honestly thought he could turn around and say the word _sorry_and then everything would be ok then he was wrong. Maybe when he used to apologise the word sorry held more weight and meant something, but she was tired of having to hear that word from him now.

"For everything" Truthfully he wasn't sure _exactly_ what he was apologising for but it seemed the right thing to do. He clearly had done something, he just wasn't sure what it actually was. He was pretty sure the _everything_ covered all areas.

"I don't want you apologising because you feel you have to and thinking that it will solve everything. God Lucas you can be so stupid sometimes!" She said realising she really was going to have to spell things out for him. "I want you to apologise because you want to make it better and you mean it. You just don't understand. You never have". Brooke was exasperated with him by this point. It was crystal clear to everyone else who knew the whole story from the beginning, how could he not see what the problem was?

"Tell me what I can do to make this right…" Lucas spoke with desperation. He was determined to make this right with her.

"I shouldn't have to tell you what to say or do or how to apologise Lucas. That's the point". She wanted him to know what to say and what he was apologising for so badly, but she was left bitterly disappointed. The boy who she loved just didn't have a clue.

"Please don't go," he asked but he knew there was a little point in arguing with her. Maybe some space and time to cool off would do them both some good.

Brooke ducked under his arm that was stretched out across the doorway and then turned to face him. "Look maybe you'll understand one day and when you do then we can talk about it, but not today Lucas, not today."

And with that she was gone.

--------

"So how are things with you Brooke?" Karen asked the brunette sitting on the opposite side of the wooden table.

"They're good" Brooke smiled although Karen couldn't help but suspect that there was something wrong. Usually Brooke would be mid chat as she got through the door but this Brooke so far had hardly said a word. They had hugged, exchanged pleasantries, Karen admiring Brooke's hair and Brooke admiring Karen's shoes, then had made their was through to the kitchen where they were now.

"Considering things are good you don't seem very happy"

"It's nothing" Brooke said attempting to brush off Karen's concerns. She knew Karen meant well but it was rather weird to be thinking of discussing Lucas with his own mother. She did trust Karen, but could she rely on her to be completely unbiased and not make excuses for Lucas's actions.

"Well it's obviously something…" Karen persisted, determined to get the pretty brunette to open up.

"Me and Lucas just had an argument if you could call it that" Brooke said lightly tapping her fingers on the table edge.

"Do you mind if I ask what it was about?" Karen asked. It was rather hard to give advice not knowing what the actual problem was. She understood if Brooke didn't want to say, she certainly didn't want to pry, it was none of her business after all, but seeing the troubled girl sitting in front of her she couldn't help but want to help her.

"Maybe I'm being stupid…" She suddenly was very aware that it was Lucas's mom she was talking to. She trusted Karen but maybe she wasn't the person she should be talking to about this.

"Brooke."

Brooke knew that tone of voice all too well, she had become pretty accustomed to it during her stay there. "I just really want him to know what he is apologising for you know. Like I shouldn't have to spell it out to him. He should just _know_".

"And Lucas doesn't I am guessing" Karen chimed in.

"He said sorry and he didn't even know what for. How can I take his apologies seriously if he doesn't even know what he is saying sorry for? I just don't know, am I expecting too much? He is a guy after all." Maybe that was just it, maybe she had just built up such a perfect image of him over the last four years and now the reality was not living up to the dream. Maybe she was being too hard on him, but was it so wrong to want things to be perfect.

"Lucas has hurt you pretty badly in the past Brooke and you have every right to be wary of trusting him. But I know my son, and I know you are worried if he means what he says but just give him a chance. You owe yourself that."

"It's just… he thinks he can just say sorry though and it makes everything okay, but it doesn't. I just wish he would see that".

"If Lucas says he is sorry then I am sure he means it" Karen said, and she meant it. She knew Lucas had been beating himself terribly about the way he treated Brooke the last few years, she just wished Brooke realised that.

"I want to believe you Karen, really I do. And there was a time I believed it with all my heart but when you have the same person constantly apologising to you I just can't help but wonder you know? He shouldn't have to keep apologising because he shouldn't have done the wrong thing in the first place."

"Brooke people make mistakes, you and I both know that" Karen reasoned.

"Yeah but his mistakes seem to hurt a hell of a lot more than everyone else's" Brooke countered.

"If he really is sorry though, don't you think you should forgive him?" Karen asked wondering if Brooke could ever truly let it go and forgive her son for how he had treated her. It wasn't easy to forgive the person who broke your heart, she of all people knew that.

"I have forgiven him though, that's the point. It's not like I will ever forget what he did but I have forgiven him Karen believe me." She let out a deep sigh. "I just wish he could say what I want him to say."

"Brooke he's not a mind reader you know" Karen joked but at the same time was deadly serious. Brooke couldn't expect miracles. She knew her son had a lot of making up to do but it seemed Brooke was setting targets that he would never be able to achieve.

"Yeah but Karen he should know what he is saying sorry for. Right now I just think he is apologising out of guilt." It had been bothering her ever since he said the word sorry, not _what_ he was apologising for but more they _why_ was he apologising. Was he apologising because he felt guilty and was wanting to relieve some of that guilt? Was he apologising in hopes of forgiveness or something more, or was he apologising because he genuinely felt he needed to?

"Guilt?" Karen questioned not sure she really understood.

"Yeah amongst other things…" Brooke said softly as she began picking holes in the already picked at wood.

"But doesn't that show he cares?" Karen asked. Surely the fact that Lucas was apologising showed he was sorry and cared about her. Shouldn't she be pleased? But the young brunette girl sitting before her was far from pleased, she looked so fragile, so afraid and so desperate for guidance. Brooke shrugged.

"Maybe. But I don't want his pity." She wanted something much more than that.

"Then what do you want?" Karen asked rather unsure what Brooke actually wanted from her son.

"I want his heart."

-------

"What have you done now?" Haley asked as she opened the door to her best friend. She had just fed James his breakfast when she had received the call from Lucas asking for her help. He hadn't filled her in on the details but he had sounded rather desperate. And who was she to turn down spending some quality time with her best friend, they had hardly spent any time together just the two of them and even though she was pretty sure she knew what they would be discussing she didn't really mind. She would take what she could get.

"What makes you think I have done something wrong?" Lucas asked slightly annoyed that everyone seemed to be assuming the worst where he was concerned. Fair enough she was right on this one occasion but he wished people would just lay off and give him a break.

"Well the fact that you have that look on your face and you were begging me for your help a matter of 10 minutes ago" Haley laughed stepping aside to let him in.

"Oh" Lucas said realising it was rather obvious. "Yeah that and Brooke left me a rather angry voicemail" Haley admitted. She knew something was wrong even before Lucas had called. Brooke had ranted on for about 5 minutes solid without actually telling her much. Typical Brooke.

"Ah" Lucas said mentally preparing himself now for a lecture from his best friend. The problem was that he wasn't sure what he had actually done. Maybe if he knew then he could actually try to put it right.

"So go on then what did you do?" Haley asked again.

"She didn't tell you on her message?" He asked rather confused, hoping the message would give him a clue as to what he had actually done. But no such luck.

"No it was pretty much just saying what as ass you are…" Haley shrugged as she began wiping the counters clean.

"I see"

"So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to ask Brooke?"

"To be honest I am not really sure what happened" He answered honestly. Ever since Brooke had left he had been thinking about it and he still didn't know. That's why he had called Hales, he figured maybe he needed a woman's perspective on things, god knew he didn't understand women, especially not Brooke.

"Huh"

"Well one minute we were fine and then it got a bit heated and I kind of said that she probably had better things to do with her time than hang out with my mom. And it just escalated from there really." It couldn't just be that could he though? Sure Brooke was annoyed with him about that but it just seemed there was something else, something more. "I tried apologising"

"But you didn't know what you were apologising for" Haley added as she watched her hands in the sink and turned to face him.

"How did you know?" Lucas said his eyes narrowing in confusing

"Brooke said" Haley replied simply as if it was no big deal. She made her way into the main room with Lucas following closely behind. "I thought you said she didn't say anything?"

"I lied"

"Oh well it's nice to know where your loyalties lay then" Lucas said as he took a seat on the couch.

"I just wanted to hear your side that's all. Come on Lucas though I mean why did you say you were sorry if you didn't even know what for?"

He had been asking himself exactly the same question and he kept coming to the same conclusion. "I don't know. I just wanted to make things right and it was the only thing that came into my head"

"Next time how bout you try using that brain of yours before you speak. For a guy who is supposed to be a writer you aren't so great when it comes to words are you?" Haley joked

"I think it's more I am not good with words where Brooke is concerned, at least not now anyway" His words once had the power to solve problems not create them, where had he gone so wrong?

"Either way Lucas you need to sort this out"

"Sort what out?" Lucas turned to face his brother who had just walked into the room basketball in hand, sweat dripping from his face and covering his jersey.

"Nothing" Haley attempted to cover for her best friend. She wasn't sure why but she always found the need to defend Lucas to Nathan. She felt torn between the two. They had come such a long way and they had become so close, but the release of Lucas's book and the arrival of Peyton and Brooke back in town had really rocked their relationship.

"What's he done now?" Nathan asked knowing that he had clearly walked in on something, and he was pretty sure whatever it was had something to do with Lucas.

"Why does everyone assume I have done something?" Lucas exclaimed feeling the anger rising in him.

"Because you usually have" Nathan bit back.

Haley watched the exchange of words and couldn't help but feel disappointed in the pair of them. They were grown men and yet here they were behaving like children. Why couldn't they just try to get along and act their age?

"Oh that's right, and you've never done anything wrong, have you?" Lucas said rising from his seat.

"I didn't say that" Nathan said taking a step forward towards his older brother.

"You two cut it out. Imagine if James saw you two arguing" Haley stood up reminding the two brothers of her presence.

"Speaking of, where is the little guy?" Lucas asked now turning his attention away from his brother and to his best-friend. If James was around you could often hear. He had bundles of energy and was often running around the place, yet today he had not seen or heard his little nephew.

"He's in his room" Nathan answered.

"He was originally going to his friend's but after his behaviour last night we had to cancel." Haley explained still rather annoyed about her son's behaviour. She didn't like punishing him but James needed to learn that he couldn't keep acting up like that.

"Do you mind if I go and see him?" Lucas asked eager to see his nephew.

"Sure. While you're there maybe you could try finding out why he did it as he won't tell us" Haley said.

Lucas walked past her and then his brother and made his way into the hall and up the stairs.

"This has to stop Nathan. You said you would try to at least be civil"

"I am."

"Well if that's you trying then I am far from impressed. You did so well at dinner last night. I'm not asking for a miracle Nathan, just meet me half way here"

"Fine…" Nathan reluctantly agreed. "I'm going to take a shower."

------

Lucas tapped lightly on his nephew's door before entering.

"Hey buddy" Lucas peered his head round the door to see James playing with the scattered toys on the floor.

"Uncle Luke!" James shrieked jumping up with excitement and rushing to his Uncle's side as if he was the first person he had seen in years. Lucas ruffled up the youngster's hair and smiled at the warm reception.

"So you're stuck in here for the day then, huh?" Lucas said making his way over to a clear bit of carpet where he could sit. "Yeah, I'm only allowed out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and to go to the bathroom" James said imitating his mother's strict voice as he too sat back down on the carpet and continued to push the toy train around the track he had built in his room.

Lucas laughed lightly at how accurate his nephew's impression was. "I'm sorry little man"

"It's not too bad. I get to play with all my toys" James replied unfazed by the punishment. "And I believe I owe you this" Lucas said digging into his jacket pocket and withdrawing a twenty dollar bill.

"Thanks Uncle Luke" James said happily accepting the bill.

"Hey you held up your side of the deal the least I could do was hold up mine. Good job on keeping quiet to your mom and dad though. It's our little secret". Lucas knew he shouldn't be encouraging his nephew to keep secrets from Haley and Nathan but one little secret wouldn't hurt. No harm was done.

"Did you and Aunt Brooke have fun?" James said looking up before adding two train carriages to the train. "Between you and me it was great. Worth every dollar. But you are going to have to be on your best behaviour for your mom now, ok? I don't want you getting into any more trouble."

James nodded his head eagerly.

--

"Did he say anything?" Haley asked as Lucas re-entered the kitchen

"Not really. But I get the feeling he won't be acting up again"

"Why?" Haley asked curiously. Did Lucas know something she didn't? She had tried to talk to James last night when they had got in but by the time they had dealt with the babysitter they had decided it was better left until the morning. So then she had made another attempt at breakfast but once again he had given her no explanation why he had done it, all he said was that he was sorry.

"It's just a feeling I have" Lucas said smiling to himself. James was a good kid, there were no doubts about that in his mind. The only reason James had acted up in the first place the previous night was because he had asked him to. The night was originally meant to be just him and Brooke, no one else, and then Brooke had insisted on Haley and Nathan joining them leaving him with no option but to resort to drastic measures and make sure that he was given some alone time with the brunette. The things he did for _love_!

"Lucas" Haley spoke bringing him quickly out of his thoughts.

"Yeah"

"If you really want to make things right with Brooke then I can help you…"

* * *


	23. Constantly Reminded Of The Past

**Sorry for the wait. I finally finished it, it just took me a little longer than I thought it would.**

**Huge thank you to Jenna hug **

* * *

"Sorry I'm late, traffic was a nightmare" Brooke said rather out of breath having run from the car. She hadn't realised how long she and Karen had been talking until Karen had asked her if she wanted to stay for lunch. The pretty brunette then had to quickly rush across town so it was lucky she had taken Lucas's car today as there was no way she would have made it on foot, at least not in her heels. Lucas had been kind enough to give her his spare set of car keys and told her to feel free to use it so that's exactly what she had done, it just had the added bonus that by her taking it he was stranded.

"I only just got here myself" Peyton shrugged it off as if she had predicted Brooke would be late.

"Come on goldilocks let's do some damage" Brooke said as she linked arms with Peyton and headed in the directions of the shops. "You know, I saw this gorgeous top that would be just perfect for you, oh and then you have to have the jacket to match, and then the shoes and the bag-"

"Brooke," Peyton interrupted laughing lightly at her friends antics, "go easy ok" There were just some things that never changed, including her friend's enthusiasm and eagerness to shop. The tall blonde couldn't help but question why she ever had doubts about rekindling her friendship with the brunette. She missed this, she missed having a best-friend, her best friend, but most importantly she missed Brooke.

"P. Sawyer when was the last time we did this?" Brooke questioned. Nothing was to going to spoil this for her, finally able to spend some quality time with Peyton and in turn having fun, so if that meant spending a lot of money along the way then that is what they were going to do.

Peyton started to open her mouth in response but found herself without an answer for the brunette.

"Exactly, now stop moaning because today is on me and we have a lot of time to make up for…" Brooke knew it sounded stupid but she felt guilty, and if spending her cash on Peyton eased a small amount of that guilt then so be it. They were both at fault for the lack of contact over the years but she couldn't help thinking back to all the weekends she could have flown down to LA to see her. Even is she did still have feelings for Lucas or the struggle it would have been to see them together, she shouldn't have let her friendship with Peyton suffer.

"Brooke really it's ok, I do have money you know…" Peyton reminded her friend who seemed to think that just because she was currently unemployed she was also broke.

"Yeah I know but it's just that I have a lot more" Brooke responded truthfully.

"Sorry" She quickly added realising how comment may have sounded. She didn't mean to rub in the fact that she had more money, it was just the way it was.

"No you're right, you do" A tint of sadness in her voice. She didn't begrudge Brooke a penny of her money, she had earned it and deserved all the success she had had. But why couldn't she just have a slither of the amount of success Brooke had, sometimes life just wasn't fair. It was like in the last four years she had achieved nothing, she had worked so hard but in the end it just hadn't been good enough and she was not about to waste another year of her life.

"Yeah but I didn't mean to rub it in. And believe me, having all this money is not as good as its cracked up to be…"

"Brooke" Peyton stated in a disbelieving tone and turned her head to look at the brunette.

Brooke came to a halt and looked Peyton right in the eye. "No I mean it, I have people who I hardly even know asking me for money, including my own parents, can you believe that! They never called me or cared before, and now I can't get rid of them. Funny thing that occurs when you have a nice bank account…" Brooke added sadly. She wished her parents called to actually see how she was and at first she thought they had, even though past experiences could have told her that with them money would always come first. In a typical conversation after exchanging the basic pleasantries the conversation quickly turned to work and all her hopes regarding her parents came crashing down in flames. There was a saying that it wasn't when you had money but instead when you didn't have money that you realised who your real friends were, and that was definitely true. And she was currently with one of those real friends.

"I am sure there is more to it than that…" Peyton herself was fairly sure that statement was untrue, however she prayed for Brooke's sake that it was. She knew how badly Brooke wanted her parents to actually give a damn about her. Even when they had staying with them in LA that summer the two of them had hardly seen Brooke's parents, when they weren't travelling for business they were out in the evenings at some dinner party or event, they were never up in time for breakfast and when they did rise Brooke's mother went off to one of her luncheons or shopping while her dad strolled off to work or headed to his directly to his home office to work from home. It was amazing Brooke had turned out the way she had given her home life.

"Sadly I don't think there is" Brooke said regretfully, turning away from the blonde and resuming walking.

Peyton quickened her own pace to catch up with the brunette and once more link arms. "I'm sorry Brooke"

"Yeah me too, but feeling sorry for myself is not going to make me feel better or fix the problem at hand." She paused and a smile soon emerged on her face. "But shopping definitely will help heighten my mood!" Brooke said pulling Peyton into a nearby shop.

--------

"So you have no idea where she is?" Lucas asked, he knew Brooke had said she would stop by there some time so is mother was number one on the where to find Brooke list. Apparently though, she had already left.

"No" Karen replied. "She just said there was somewhere she had to be" Karen added recalling her conversation with Brooke less than an hour ago. "Is there something wrong Lucas?" Karen asked picking up on the urgency on her son's voice.

Lucas sighed, nothing was ever easy was it. "I just really need to talk to her"

"I am sure she'll turn up" Karen reassured her son.

"Look I should probably try some other people to see if they've seen her, give Lily a hug from me would you"

"Sure" Karen said resting the phone back on the kitchen counter. She wasn't sure what Lucas wanted to talk to Brooke about, but whatever it was it seemed very important. Maybe her son had finally decided to come clean to her about everything after all.

------

'Peyton you should so get this, the guys will be unable to keep their hands off you" Brooke said pulling a top of the rack and holding it up against the blonde.

"Brooke maybe I don't want guys hands all over me" Peyton said moving on the next rack of clothes.

"Fine, but trust me on this one, if you put that top with the skirt you found then you would look amazing" Brooke said stalling before placing the top back where she found it.

"I'll take your word for it…"

"Please just go and try it on" Brooke whined unable to move away from the garment.

"Ok but after this I am not trying on anything else until I see you actually buy something for yourself" Peyton replied as the garment was almost immediately thrust into her hands and she found herself being pushed into the changing cubicle.

"But I don't need anything" Brooke said pulling the curtain across the cubicle. She hadn't bought anything but that was because she didn't really need anything. She had packed more than enough clothes as it was. And living in New York it wasn't like she didn't have access to the shops, she was in shopping heaven. Peyton needed treating and that was what she was doing. That's what friends were for.

"Brooke you always want something" Peyton said as she slipped her top over her head.

"Yeah well maybe it's not clothes that I want" Brooke said coyly leaning against the cubicle wall.

"And I don't think I need two guesses to guess what that is" Peyton replied sticking her head out from behind the curtain.

"Oh really" Brooke raised her eyebrow.

"Does it happen to begin with L and ends in S" Peyton said quickly shutting the cubicle curtain before the brunette could respond and react to her comment.

Brooke found herself unable to think of a comeback, Peyton was right, he was what she wanted, and she couldn't deny that. But at the same time she couldn't openly admit that at least not to Peyton. Not yet anyway.

She wanted to talk to her about it but it felt like she'd be crossing some sort of line. And despite Peyton constantly denying having any romantic feelings towards Lucas, Brooke still found herself hesitant and wary of discussing the matter with the blonde. The barriers remained, The same barriers which had been put in place after the first incident.

"I knew it!" Although Brooke had failed to answer she knew what it meant, it meant she was right, and despite predicting it she still found herself somewhat in a state of shock.

"Peyton am I crazy?" Brooke said worriedly.

"Maybe a little" Peyton chuckled lightly as she examined her reflection in the mirror.

"Come on, seriously, am I crazy for thinking about giving him another chance?" Brooke asked the blonde. She didn't know if she could trust Peyton to give a 100 honest answer but she still found herself asking her anyway.

"I really don't think I am the right person to ask there…" Peyton replied honestly. Lucas had hurt her badly, he had hurt both of them badly for that matter, and at this moment in time she wasn't sure he deserved either of them.

"I guess not" Brooke sighed but appreciating Peyton's honesty. Peyton swung back the curtain dressed back in her own clothes.

"Would you be ok with it?" Brooke asked, she had to know, and although she was risking a lot by asking it she just had to do it.

"With you and Lucas?" Peyton questioned. Just saying it out loud seemed strange, maybe it was just going to take some getting used to.

"I mean it killed me seeing you together and if its going to do the same to you as it did to me then…" Brooke trailed off not wanting to finish her own sentence.

"Then what?" Peyton asked curiously

"Then I will just have to get over him" Brooke replied softly as they made their way to the till.

"Do you really mean that?" Peyton asked rather shocked that the brunette was willing to give up and bury her feelings for the sake of their friendship.

Brooke hesitated before answering. "Yeah I do.". She spoke softly, so softly and quietly that it was hard to hear the brunette's words, let alone the finality in them.

Peyton couldn't help but frown at the brunette as the cashier placed the items of clothing in a bag and handed it to Brooke. "Brooke, it's been over 4 years and you're still not over him what makes you think another 5 years would help?" Peyton asked. She had tried burying her feelings before and all that had happened as a result was a whole lot of hurting. She couldn't ask Brooke to put their friendship first, it wasn't fair, god knew she certainly hadn't when they were back in high school and seeing Brooke act and talk like she was, was just making her feel more guilty than ever before.

Brooke hesitated. "I don't know…"

"Brooke you still love him and I am not going to stand in your way. If you want to be together and he makes you happy then I think you should go for it."

Brooke looked at Peyton sceptically, she had heard similar words of encouragement from the blonde before regarding Lucas and look how that one had turned out! "You think?" Brooke asked clearly not overly convinced by the blonde's words.

"Yeah I do"

"But what if he doesn't feel the same way, I mean it wasn't so long ago he was in love with you right…" Brooke trailed off wondering if she had just made a crucial error in bringing up the blonde's relationship with the older Scott brother.

"Brooke trust your instincts" Peyton said taking the brunettes hands in hers as if to reassure her. It was the best advice she could give her friend. "Do you think he might still have feelings for you?" Peyton asked. She already knew the answer of course, it was hard not to after reading his book. But for Brooke who remained in the dark regarding the book the answer to the question may not have been so easy and simple.

Brooke paused and thought about the blonde's question carefully. "Yeah I think he does…" Brooke said, a small smile escaping as the words left her lips.

"And you love him right?" Peyton asked although she knew there was no need to. Sometimes people just needed it spelt out for them, and this was the perfect example of that.

Brooke didn't speak, a simple nod was all that was needed.

"Then I don't think there is a problem"

-----------

"Mom said she left a while ago" Lucas said as he re-entered the kitchen where Haley had waited during his phone call to Karen.

"Well where do you think she would have gone?" Haley asked as she poured the coffee from the pot into the two mugs she had placed on the kitchen counter, not much had changed from a few years prior when they would sit in the café over steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Next to the two mugs a small plastic cup was placed filled with lemonade, and next to that two chocolate biscuits, James' favourites.

"I don't know, I don't even know who she kept in touch with over the years, she could be anywhere…" Lucas sighed, slightly frustrated he leaned across and took the hot mug from it's place on the counter. He hadn't kept in contact with Brooke over the last four years so how would he know who actually had?

"Well think harder, you need to figure it out and talk to her about everything before you chicken out." Haley reminded him as she made her way to the doorway, tray with cup and biscuits in hand.

"I am trying ok, I don't know where else to look… This last while is the first time I've spent any time with her in the last four years, I have no ideas."

"Well, she's still Brooke, so where would Brooke be?" Haley advised giving him one last look before making her way up the stairs.

----

"So what's the plan then?" Brooke asked. Fifteen stores and eight shopping bags later and they had finally stopped for a drink. Brooke had bought Peyton several outfits and had finally bought some items for herself after the curly haired blonde refused to try on anything further unless Brooke made a purchase or two for herself. Peyton, as a thank you insisted on buying them both something to drink since Brooke would not allow her to buy her anything else. The café was only small, no more than a dozen tables, it was simply decorated, nothing over the top, and most importantly it had the best latte's around, beside Karen's Café obviously.

They had spent most of the afternoon discussing Brooke's clothing line, the places she had been able to travel to, the glitzy events she was invited to and then the not so glamorous side of the fashion industry. And Brooke had soon realised that although the two girls had talked non stop for the last few hours she was no closer to knowing the blonde's plans or if she was back for good.

"There isn't one really, I have no job, I'm soon to be homeless and I have no idea what I want to do…" Peyton replied honestly.

"Hang on, did you say homeless?" Brooke said almost spitting out her latte.

"Yeah. My dad is hardly here and wants to buy a place closer to work. And I could hardly tell him that I had moved back home now could I!" Peyton explained. She could go and move back in with her dad once he had bought somewhere new but that meant starting all over again, new town, new people, and a whole new way of life. Was it so wrong to want to remain in the place she had grown up and come to know as home?

"So what? He thinks you're still in LA?" Brooke asked rather shocked at the lack of communication between the father and daughter.

"Pretty much" Peyton shrugged before taking a sip from her cup.

"Why didn't you tell him you had moved back?" Brooke asked still rather confused.

"Well it's not like I planned on staying here long term. I left LA and ended up here" Maybe it wasn't that simple but she really didn't feel like going into further detail. The fact was it hadn't worked out in LA like she had hoped, she needed to see some familiar faces and presto here she was, back in Tree Hill.

"So how long do you have before you're homeless?" Brooke asked struggling to comprehend the new developments in the blonde's life.

"He's putting the house on the market this week so I guess any time really"

"Oh Peyton" Brooke sighed sympathetically. Even though Peyton had been away for the last 4 years she was sure it would still be hard for the blonde to part with her childhood home. There were so many memories there, some good, some bad, but nonetheless they were still memories.

"I'll think of something" Peyton said refusing to let it get her down, she had spent the majority of the last few years being miserable and feeling sorry for herself and it was time to get a grip. She would sort something out, it wasn't the end of the world, no one had died, it was just a house.

"No" Brooke said locking eyes with the blonde. "We'll think of something"

Peyton smiled grateful at her friend's eagerness to help. "Brooke really I can handle this."

"Well I'm your best friend, and as your best friend it is my job to help." Brooke responded almost without thinking. Was she still Peyton's best friend, was Peyton hers or were they just simply_friends_?

"I'm never going to get rid of you am I?" Peyton laughed.

"Nope" Brooke smiled.

"So what about you and Lucas, you decided what you are going to do yet?" Peyton asked curiously.

"I'm going to tell him how I feel" Brooke answered confidently. She had been thinking about it all afternoon and she had finally made her mind up.

"I am proud of you Brooke, putting yourself back out there" Peyton said patting the brunette on the knee.

"Yeah well I had to do it sometime right."

"Trust me, you'll be fine" Peyton reassured. Brooke had a habit of keeping her feelings bottled up and she was not going to let her back out of this one. Even if Lucas didn't feel the same way, at least Brooke would know she had put herself out there and tried, it was better than sitting there and watching the world pass by. But she already knew how Lucas felt regarding the brunette sitting beside her so it was just a case of when she would tell him how she felt rather than if the brunettes feelings were reciprocated. If only Brooke could see that.

"I hope so. I know we said we would spend the whole day together but do you mind if we call it a day?" Brooke asked as a yawn escaped her.

"Sure, you want to rush back to lover boy huh?" Peyton joked.

"No, I just really want to check in with work. I told Christina not to ring me but now I'm rather worried, I don't have a single message from her." Brooke said as she worriedly glanced down at her phone once more.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Peyton asked confused.

"Not if you know Christina. I better check and make sure I still have a company to go back to…" Brooke said as she picked up her bag which she had slid under the table.

"Thanks for today Brooke" Peyton said sincerely.

"Stop thanking me, it was nothing" Brooke replied brushing off the blonde's compliments. If anything it should be her thanking Peyton, not the other way round. Without her she probably would not have the courage to tell Lucas how she felt.

"No it was just what I needed."

"Well we missed you at dinner you know…" Brooke said deciding to drop Peyton's failure to appear into the conversation.

"I didn't want to be a third wheel…" the blonde spoke dejectedly, just the thought of being alone with Brooke and Lucas made her uncomfortable.

"Haley and Nathan were there too" Brooke quickly added.

"No they weren't" Peyton said without thinking but soon realised her error, only it was too late.

"Peyton is there something you want to tell me?"

"Ok fine I was there…" Peyton reluctantly admitted.

"I didn't see you." Brooke stated, clearly confused.

"That's because I came, saw you two together and then left"

"I see" Brooke said. After a long awkward silence in which neither girl knew what to say Brooke finally found her voice. "Are you sure you don't have problem with me and Lucas Peyton?"

"I'm sure, I guess it was just rather strange that's all" Peyton reasoned trying to make sense of her own behaviour but truthfully she wasn't even sure why she had rushed out that night.

"I have to go" Brooke said abruptly quickly flinging her bag over her shoulder and throwing down a few dollar bills despite Peyton's request that the drinks be on her.

"Brooke" Peyton said rising from her chair but it was too late; the brunette was already nearly at the door.

"I'll call you Peyton" Brooke said before rushing through the wooden door of the café. Peyton's head fell into her hands as she realised the full extent of her admission and its consequences. Maybe she was better off with her dad after all.

* * *


	24. Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

Hey everyone. I have had tons of work recently but I managed to finish a chapter in between. Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. You are all so lovely. Also some of you have been asking when I am updating my other story and I know it's been such a long time but I am going to try to get a chapter up for that in say about 3 weeks, fingers crossed. Anyway I'll let you get on to this chapter.

Thanks to Jenna of course :)

* * *

"Hello" Peyton answered her cell which had begun to vibrate a couple of seconds earlier.

"Peyton…" Lucas relieved voice came through the line.

"Oh it's you" A less then pleased Peyton deadpanned. Now was not a good time. She had just had her former best friend run out of her, possibly ruining any chance she had of rebuilding their friendship. And it was all because of him!

"I've been trying to get hold of you. Have you seen Brooke at all today?" Lucas asked worriedly.

Peyton rolled her eyes as he spoke. Of course this was about Brooke. It's not as if he would be actually calling to talk to her. It was always about Brooke. Even when he had come round to apologise to her, it had ended up about Brooke. "We were just out shopping." Peyton answered coldly.

"So she's with you now?" His voice perking up with hope.

"Actually, no." Peyton admitted, although she had decided to exclude the part about Brooke running out on her.

"No?" Lucas questioned.

"She just left." Peyton explained figuring the less detail she provided him the better.

"Well do you know where she went?" He persisted.

"No she said she had to call work and then left." She wasn't lying; she was just choosing to leave out a few details, that was all.

"How long ago did she leave?"

"About 2 minutes ago maybe…" Peyton estimated as she stirred the drink sitting in front of her.

"Ok thanks"

"Lucas is something wrong?" Peyton asked wanting to know why the former flame was so desperate to find the brunette.

"No I just really need to talk to her…" Lucas answered vaguely figuring that out of everyone Peyton was probably the last person he should talk to about this.

"Well if I talk to her I'll let her know you are looking for her". Although she knew the chances of that right now were beyond slim, in fact they were closer to non-existent.

"Thanks"

---------------------

"Christina it's me, call me ok, I am starting to worry" Brooke said as she slid into the driver's seat. She had to hand it to Lucas, he did have good choice in cars, it was a shame not all his decisions and choices were as good as his choice of cars.

She threw her bag on the passenger seat and rested her head on the steering wheel. Why was it that just when it looked like everything was beginning to work out and all the dark clouds were fading into the distance that all of a sudden another dark cloud appeared out of nowhere? And this cloud wasn't like the others, and when the rain began to fall it wasn't a light shower, it was a hard and heavy thunderstorm. How could Peyton do this to her again? Why couldn't she just be happy for once? Why did something always get in the way? Was this some sort of sign?

Brooke's head suddenly shot up and her hand flew to the passenger seat where her phone was rested. "Why haven't you called?" Brooke said flipping open her cell as the familiar ring ton began to sound

"You told me not to" Christina answered unsure of herself, now worrying that she had done something wrong.

"Yeah I said don't disturb me but a few messages would have been nice just so I know how things are going." Brooke said

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise" The assistant's voice sounded apologetic.

"So I take it I still have a company to come back to then?"

"Yeah everything has been great, no problems so far" The assistant answered eagerly desperate to prove to her boss that she could cope.

"At least that's something I guess" Brooke paused as she realised how harsh and angry her voice seemed. "I'm sorry Christina. I think I'm just having a bad day. Keep up the good work ok and it would be great if you could send me a few updates if possible." She spoke, a lot softer and calmer this time, just because she was angry with Peyton didn't mean she had the right to take it out on Christina.

"Will do boss" Christina replied.

Brooke said goodbye and place her phone back in her bag before starting the engine. Still unsure of where she was actually going.

----------------------

"Please, please, please" Brooke muttered to herself as she hammered on the door of the large house. This was the one person who she knew she could rely on to be honest with her, if she was overreacting then they would tell her, they had been there for her before and now she needed her again. Plus there was the added bonus that the person was not particularly close to Peyton.

She let out a sigh of relief as she heard footsteps rapidly approaching the white door.

The door swung open and Brooke couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto her face. She wore a deep red halter-neck with a denim mini skirt, she had never been one to cover up that was for sure. On the surface the girl standing before her looked the same as she had when they had said goodbye back in New York, but unlike everyone else she knew the girl had changed in more ways than anyone could have imagined.

"Brooke." The redhead stared in shock. To say she was shocked to see the brunette standing on her doorstep would be an understatement. When she had left New York she had asked Brooke to come with her, to come back to Tree Hill. The brunette had not only had declined but insisted that New York was now her home. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help" Brooke said, desperation clear in her voice.

"But aren't you supposed to be in New York?" Rachel asked still confused as to why exactly the brunette was back in Tree Hill. She wasn't sure what it was, maybe it was the brunette's tone, the desperation sounding in her voice, maybe it was the way she had hammered on the door as if her life depended on it or maybe it was mystery surrounding the brunette's return to Tree Hill.

"I took a vacation"

"And you decided to come here? I mean really Brooke all the places in the world and you chose Tree Hill?" Sure Brooke was unpredictable and a bit out there with some of her ideas but this, well this was just weird. She knew Brooke, and the Brooke she knew would choose to be sunning herself on a beach somewhere or seeing the sights in Europe, not standing on her doorstop in Tree Hill. Something was wrong!

"Yeah you know me. I love it this time of year.' Brooke answered gesturing to the glorious sunshine that was beating down on them.

"Yeah course you do. That must be it. I mean it's not like the sun isn't shining anywhere else in the world" Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

"Are you going to let me in or not?" She asked. There was no point in arguing with Rachel, that girl had a comeback for everything

"No" Rachel said rather abruptly as she folded her arms and looked at the now rather shocked brunette.

"No?" Brooke repeated in amazement. The girl standing in front of her was supposed to be her friend, and friends didn't turn each other away.

Rachel swiftly wrapped her arms around the brunette, taking Brooke completely by surprise. The redhead started to break the hug but the brunette clung on. She hadn't realised how much she had missed the fiery redhead until now.

"Bitch" Rachel said causing Brooke to quickly break away. "Excuse me?" Brooke asked.

"Turn around" Rachel demanded, clearly ignoring the question. Brooke did as she was instructed and quickly turned around on the spot, although rather unsure why she was actually going it.

"I knew it" Rachel smiled a look of satisfaction now emerging.

"I don't understand" Brooke stated still clearly confused

"I want to know details" Rachel said taking the confused brunette by the arm and leading her into the beautiful home.

"You've really lost me". Brooke's eyes travelled around the hallway before finding their way back to the redhead standing beside her.

"The diet. And don't say you haven't been on one because that ass of yours has definitely shrunk" Rachel warned.

"Thanks………..I guess. But I really haven't been on a diet." Brooke assured her friend. There really was nothing to tell and she hadn't even realised there had been any change in her body shape or size. It wasn't something she had been focused on over the years really.

"Liar" Rachel retorted refusing to believe the much smaller brunette.

"No I guess I've just been working really hard, that's all" She shrugged. With her busy schedule she often had to skip meals or work late, so it wasn't really a surprise that she had lost weight. It was typical of Rachel to notice, no one else had even mentioned it or noticed to her knowledge. It really wasn't a big deal, it wasn't like she was like those stick insects you saw on the runways, she still had her curves, she had just lost a few pounds, that was all. It just happened that Rachel noticed the slightest changes in people's appearances.

"Fine don't tell me" Rachel shrugged clearly annoyed by the brunette's refusal to tell her.

"There's nothing to tell" Brooke said getting rather frustrated with the redhead. How could she prove to the redhead that she had not been on a diet? It was one of those impossible things to prove.

"Whatever" Rachel sighed, clearly bored now of the conversation and her failure to get Brooke to divulge details, as she led the way into the main room.

"Woah" Brooke had to step back as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness that surrounded her. The walls were red, bright red. The surprise wasn't so much the colour of the room, more that Mouth had let her decorate their home. Then again Mouth probably had to pick his battles with Rachel and décor probably was not one of them.

"I get that a lot" Rachel said admiring the room which had spent a lot of time and effort on.

"Yeah I bet. I…uh..I love what you have done with the place." Brooke stuttered trying to sounds as sincere as possible.

"Great isn't it? I did it myself"

"I can see." Brooke said her eyes scanning the room for something she could compliment. Her eyes soon fell on a beautiful sheepskin rug, "I love the rug" Brooke spoke as she knelt down to feel it. It was so soft, she had always wanted one but never got round to actually buying one

"Yeah although you may not want to lay on it" Rachel added as she watched the brunette continue to run her fingers over the extremely soft rug.

"Ok" Brooke said shooting the redhead a look of confusion.

"Let's just say me and Mouth have been busy" Rachel smirked

"On the rug?" Brooke questioned. Rachel didn't answer and for Brooke that was as good as admitting it.

The brunette's hand quickly flew away from the ever so soft rug, and she leapt to her feet "Ew. Is the couch contaminated too?"

Brooke watched as her friend gave same serious thought to the question asked. How hard was it? They either had or they hadn't right.

After much thought the redhead gave her answer. "That one no" the redhead said pointing to the couch near to where Brooke was standing, "This one yes" She added patting the couch she was leaning on and a dirty smirk emerging on her face.

"I always knew you would end up corrupting Mouth" . The brunette shook her head.

"Hey someone had to do it. And what's up with you anyway, you are hardly miss innocent" Rachel retaliated. The brunette did not bother replying, Rachel was right. The redhead took the brunettes silence as a cue to continue. "Oh I get what this about it, someone's hasn't got laid in a while now have they?" She smirked.

"Rachel" Brooke warned. She was not about to sit there and take this.

"Enough said, don't worry I won't tell. Although if you're looking for a guy I know someone who would be perfect." Rachel said as she opened her address book and began searching through the names.

"I'm not looking for anyone" Brooke insisted. She didn't need to look, she already knew the person she wanted to be with. It was just a question of whether or not it was possible for them to be together that was the problem.

"Yeah that's right, I mean we all want to be single for the rest of our lives" Rachel mocked as she slammed her address book shut on the coffee table. Couldn't Brooke see that she was just trying to help. She didn't want to see her friend end up bitter and alone, of course she didn't. She wanted to see her happy, and with someone who would treat her right. Why was it that her eagerness to help seemed to be deemed as meddling?

"Look I came for advice now would you shut up and let me talk?"

"Fine, I'll just sit and listen."

"So anyway, just hypothetically, say this girl and this boy who were once in love were living together, and just say that there may still be feelings there, do you think this girl should act on them?"

"Do I know this girl and this boy?"

"Rachel this is hypothetical." Brooke reminded the redhead.

"That doesn't answer my question" She countered

"Never mind then, but say then the girl's former best friend who used to date this boy may not be as over him as the girl thought. What should the girl do?"

"Who knew four years later and there would still be the same old love triangles…" Rachel joked. There was nothing hypothetical about Brooke's question, and they both knew it.

"This is hypothetical" Brooke said refusing to give in.

"That's crap and you know it. You still love Lucas. And so what if Peyton does still have feelings for him, are you going to let that ruin your one shot at happiness? I mean you haven't dated Brooke like at all over the last few years." Maybe she hadn't seen the brunette in awhile but they had remained in contact by e-mail, phone etc and she was pretty sure Broke would have told her if she had met someone.

"That's not true. What about Brad?" Brooke said reminding the redhead about the gorgeous athletic blonde.

"What about him? I mean you don't seriously call that a relationship do you? You don't kiss, hug, god Brooke, you don't even have sex. I mean really Brooke what exactly do you do with him?" Rachel laughed, sometimes the truth hurt but Brooke couldn't keep kidding herself. Brooke and Brad were NOT a couple!

"He takes me out, he buys me gifts, keeps me company" Brooke listed.

"That's what I would call a friend." Rachel mocked. There was no intimacy, no connection, no passion and most importantly there was no love, and she knew Brooke realised that.

"Ok well there was Matthew" Brooke said not wanting to prove the redhead correct.

"And how long did that last?" Rachel asked as she folded her arms.

Brooke faltered, knowing that the truth would only lead to more questions and more accusations. She could lie, but what did that achieve, a minute of Rachel off her back. "One night" the brunette finally answered. Deciding to go with the truth.

"You know why people have one night stands Brooke" It wasn't a question, it was a statement. They had both been there and done that, and what did it achieve in the long term? Nothing.

"I think you're about to remind me" Brooke spoke, she was beginning to feel like she was back in school, and being scolded by a teacher.

"People have them because they are scared, they are lonely. Trust me I should know. It's a way of numbing the pain, forgetting even if it is for just one night all the hurt, the pain. But that's all it is Brooke, one night only, and then come the morning all the hurt comes flooding back." Rachel couldn't help but feel some sort of relief rushing through her reminding her how she used to be and how far she had come, one night stands were a thing of the past, at least for her.

"You don't think I know that?" Brooke said raising her voice, the high ceilings causing her voice to echo.

"Then do something about it Brooke."

That's just it… I can't." She wanted to do something, but how could she? Everything was just so complicated and it only seemed to be getting worse.

"You know if you came here for sympathy you came to the wrong place. Yes what Lucas and Peyton did was wrong and I know how much they hurt you but you have to make a decision. You can get over it and move on, find someone new. Or you get back in there and fight for him."

"Even if I risk losing Peyton as a friend?" Brooke asked.

"Did that stop her? Did she care about losing you when she went after Lucas?"

"I guess not." Brooke answered reluctantly. She didn't like thinking back to the last few months of high school; it was full of unhappy memories. Breaking up with Lucas, the betrayal of her then best friend, the attack!

"There's your answer then." Rachel said, causing the brunette to slowly nod her head. See this was where Rachel was different from the others. Haley would tell her that she shouldn't risk losing a friend over a boy, especially if the friend was Peyton. But Rachel had a point, that didn't stop Peyton before and why should she be miserable just because Peyton couldn't make up her mind.

"I have to say I am surprised though. I mean I never thought you would even consider giving Lucas another chance." Rachel said breaking the silence.

"Really?"

"I mean the whole going off with your best friend was bad, but then after the whole book fiasco I just didn't think you would ever want to see him again let alone get back with him."

"Huh?"

"I mean yeah it's not like he said anything bad about you, like the total opposite, but the way he did it. I mean please that has to be the dumbest thing he did since he ran off with that whining former best friend of yours."

"Erm can you just hold up for a second… What exactly is in this book?" The brunette asked although not entirely sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"You haven't read it?" Rachel asked in shock, soon realising that she put her foot well and truly in her mouth! "Course you haven't, I mean whatever was I thinking assuming you had" Rachel said wanting to slap herself at this point for her error. I mean sure she found it odd that she had not received a call from the brunette ranting and raving about it but she had put that down to the fact that Brooke didn't like talking about Lucas. And now here they were and the cat had finally been let out the bag.

"Rachel I need you to tell me **exactly** what is in this book" Brooke said firmly.

"Oh you know just the usual, boy falls in love, boy ends up with broken heart, just the same old crap" Rachel said trying her best to just shrug it off.

"He wrote about getting his heart broken by Peyton?" Brooke asked rather puzzled.

"Did he write about getting his heart broken? Yes. Did he write about getting his heart broken by Peyton? No." Rachel answered truthfully.

"I don't understand." Brooke said resting her arm on the end of the couch as she waited for the redhead to explain further.

"You really should talk to Lucas, I mean this isn't even about me" Rachel said attempting to end the conversation and exit to the kitchen. But as she walked through to the kitchen so quickly realised she was not alone and that the brunette was right behind her clearly not satisfied with her response.

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" Brooke persisted as she watched the redhead withdraw two glasses from the cupboard.

"Yeah well trust me on this one, you need to talk to Lucas."

"Do you have it?" Rachel shot the brunette a confused look. "The book I mean?" Brooke added.

"I don't have it" Rachel put it simply. She poured some juice into the glasses but something stronger was now definitely needed, well for her at least.

"You don't?" Brooke questioned, clearly not believing the redhead.

The redhead refused to look at the brunette and instead took a bottle of vodka and mixed it in with the orange liquid that filled her glass..

"You do don't you?" She knew when Rachel was lying to her, they had lived together for heaven's sake, and you didn't live with someone and learn nothing. "Look if you don't give it to me then I'm going to drive into town and buy my own. It's up to you." Brooke said issuing the former roommate with an ultimatum.

"Wait here." The redhead ordered ahs left the room, drink still in hand.

Brooke waited anxiously for the redhead to reappear and when she did she was not disappointed.

"Here" Rachel said as she reluctantly handed over the book. As soon as she did she immediately took a swig of her drink. This was not good, not good at all.

"Don't say I didn't warn you…"

* * *

So there it is. Not sure when I will next update, kinda overloaded with work at the moment. But I will try not to keep you waiting too long. Anyway if you liked this chapter or if you didn't, even if you just had some comments, please review.

Thanks

x x x

* * *


	25. The Night Has Just Begun

**I know it's later than planned but here it is, an early Christmas present. Good or bad you tell me lol. I hopefully will get a bit more writing done over the holidays and am going to try and update my others as I know some of you are waiting and have been so patient with me. And before you start reading I just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and thank you all for your lovely reviews. I hope you all get what you wished for.**

* * *

"This has to be some sort of joke right? I mean this can't be right." Brooke muttered as she flicked through the pages once more. 

Rachel shrugged not really sure what to say to the shocked brunette.

"He wouldn't do this to me. He just _wouldn't_." Brooke uttered whilst shaking her head in complete disbelief. This was just all one big dream and she was going to wake up any second, or so she kept thinking and hoping.

_It just couldn't be happening_

But it was.

"Look at it this way, you got what you wanted. He wants you, you want him, simple." For someone who claimed to enjoy surprises Brooke was certainly not enjoying this one.

"It's not though, I'm more confused that ever. I don't want _us,_ not like this. This is all wrong."

"Why?" Rachel challenged her. "Why is it so wrong? A guy writing a book declaring his love for a girl sounds pretty romantic to me."

"Why is this wrong? Let's start with the fact that the whole world or at least all the residents of Tree Hill know how he feels about me before I do. Oh and then we have the fact that I have been living in his apartment and he hasn't said a word, not a word Rachel. He could have at least warned me." The brunette ranted, now standing on her feet.

"Maybe he should have but don't use this as an excuse not to tell him how you feel." The redhead urged, knowing the brunette all too well.

"I can't believe you just said that. I'm not using it as an excuse. He lied to me Rachel AGAIN!"

"So what? You and Lucas, that's it, finito, kaput?"

"Rachel. He put me through hell, I let him go and he chose to be with Peyton. He can't do this to me again, he can't just turn around and say that they were just meant to be friends. That means I went through all of that for nothing. At least when I thought they were happy together then I could attempt to deal with that. This is so much worse."

"How is this worse? The guy you love is not in love with your then best friend and wants to be with you. What is there to think about?" Rachel tried simplifying the matter. She didn't know what she had to do to make Brooke see sense.

"You've changed your tune. Didn't you say you were rather shocked that I would give him another chance?" Brooke snapped as she paced up and down the room.

"I didn't say it would be wrong to give him another chance. I just said I was rather shocked. I know you Brooke, this is what you do. You hide your feelings and you run. And you're about to do it again."

"So if you were me you would give him another chance?" Brooke turned and locked eyes with the redhead as she awaited her response

Rachel didn't hesitate in answering. "This isn't about me. Remember, I was the one trying to seduce him when he was obsessed with you, turns out he still is. He turned me down then and if I was single which I'm not he would turn me down again now." Rachel predicted. Lucas's heart belonged to one girl and one girl only, and her name was Brooke Davis, nothing would change that. If only Brooke could see that.

"He didn't turn Peyton down though did he!" Brooke countered, her eyes still on the flamed haired girl.

"Do you remember what you said to me when they got together?" Rachel asked.

Brooke didn't answer. She knew what was coming.

Rachel took the brunette's silence as her cue to continue. "You told me you were happy. You told me now he was free and could finally decide who he wanted to be with. It's you Brooke and it has been all along. I just don't understand why you are finding this so hard." Rachel said now getting rather frustrated with the brunette.

She wanted to see Brooke happy and the more Brooke ran from her feelings the longer she would remain unhappy, but Brooke didn't realise that. It was like the brunette had put up a brick wall that was standing in between her and happiness, and every time she got close to knocking down the wall she ran away, each time further than before.

"Because he lied to me Rachel, and so did Haley, and Nathan, and Peyton and so did you." Brooke exclaimed and pointed at the redhead. "Everyone I cared about lied to me. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's liars."

"Yeah you're right I did lie. We all did. But we were trying to protect_you_." The redhead reasoned. She was not about to apologise for something she wasn't sorry for. If she had told Brooke then chances were, that Brooke would not be back in Tree Hill now, and she wouldn't have gotten so close to telling Lucas how she really felt.

"Didn't you think I had a right to know. I bet you were all having a good laugh behind my back. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have come back here. I thought I was coming up to see my friends, turns out all I came back to was a town full of liars." Brooke said picking up the book and sliding it into the designer bag. She then proceeded to head towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Rachel called after the brunette, immediately getting up and following her.

"I don't know and I don't care." Brooke retorted refusing to stop for the persistent redhead as she stormed out the front door.

"I really don't think you should be driving. You're upset and you're angry, why don't I drive you. Wherever you want." Rachel yelled as she ran after the brunette. "Damn heels" Rachel muttered looking down at her footwear as she stumbled down the path. And much to her delight when she looked back up the brunette had stopped in her tracks.

"You want to drive so much? Here!" She yelled throwing the keys at the redhead. Rachel knelt down to pick the keys up which had landed a matter of yards from her. "It's all yours. And when you're done you can give it back to Lucas for me." The brunette turned and walked away once more.

"Brooke come on, don't be like this." Rachel shouted after her friend but to no avail.

"Just leave it Rachel. I need to be on my own." The brunette didn't look back, just continued to walk, her destination unclear. The only thing she knew right now was that she had to get away, away from all the lies and betrayal. She needed to be somewhere where she felt safe.

--------------

"We should probably put James to bed… " Haley stated, her eyes drifting up to the glance at the clock on the wall, as she placed the last remaining plate into its rightful place. Nathan nodded from his seat.

The doorbell rang. But before the words had a chance to leave Haley's mouth, Nathan spoke.

"Why don't I take James and you can get the door." He suggested as he rose to his feet and went in search of his son who was probably all too aware that it was past his bed time.

"Sure, I'll be up in a second" She answered making her way to the door as fast as she could if only to stop the persistent ringing.

Haley quickly opened the door but she soon wished she hadn't "Oh it's you." Haley stated coldly as she began to close the door before the woman had a chance to speak.

"Haley wait" Rachel spoke, desperation clear in her voice. Haley lifted her head rather taken aback by the redhead's pleading tone and as much as she wanted to shut the door and go upstairs to put her son to bed she found herself somewhat intrigued by what the redhead had to say.

"Give me one good reason not to slam this door in your face?" Haley asked.

"It's about Brooke" Rachel answered quickly through fear of the blonde slamming the door on her, although she already had her foot placed ready to prevent that if Haley tried..

"Go on…" Haley urged, not wanting to spend a second longer than she needed to with the redhead. Nathan was probably already reading James a story by now and here she was standing at the door talking to someone she couldn't even bare to share the same oxygen with.

"Look I know you don't like me but you really need to let me in, it's_important_" Rachel stressed. She had always been good at reading people but on this occasion she was going to have to admit defeat. There was no doubt the blonde hated her, not surprisingly after she had gone after the woman's husband but the redhead had one thing in her favour. And that was that she knew how close Haley was to Brooke. The question was, did Haley's love for Brooke outweigh Haley's hate for the redhead. Rachel stood awaiting the answer to that very question.

And after a few seconds had passed she had it.

Haley reluctantly opened the door wider for the redhead to enter. She hadn't seen or spoken to the redhead in a very long time ignoring sightings of her around town. So for the redhead to not only speak to her but to come to her house and expect to come in it had to be something big. And if the redhead was simply wasting her time then she would have no problem in showing her the door and helping her out.

"Brooke is ok isn't she?" Haley asked getting straight to the point.

"I wish I knew" The redhead mumbled as she made herself comfortable.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haley asked beginning to worry.

"Haley she knows" The redhead stated.

"Knows what?"

"She_knows"_ Rachel reiterated knowing there was no need for further detail. She turned away preparing herself for the blonde's reaction.

"But how? Did Lucas tell her?" Haley asked her voice getting louder and more panicky. Last time she had seen Lucas he certainly had not been on the verge of telling Brooke about the book, at least not yet anyway.

"It was my fault." Rachel blurted out before Haley could ask her anything more. She wasn't sure why she was admitting this to a girl who could not stand her to begin with, maybe it was due to the guilt she was feeling and the fear of what may happen as a result of her actions.

"Why am I not surprised? Of all the dumb things you have done I think this might actually top the list" Haley tone changing from one of worry to anger in a matter of seconds. She knew the redhead was not to be trusted and Rachel had proven her right once again.

"I thought she knew" Rachel said in her defense but knew it was of little use. It didn't change what had happened or what was about to happen and the worst thing was knowing it was all because of her. She had potentially destroyed one of her closest friends chance of true happiness at a time when Brooke was finally coming round to the idea that maybe she had given up on Lucas too soon.

"You thought wrong." Haley bitterly responded.

"Tell me what I can do to fix this?"

"You can't fix it. Don't you get that!" Haley took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. '"They could have been really happy together, got married, kids, they could have had it all. But thanks to you they may never have that. How does that make you feel?

"Awful" Rachel admitted as she slouched further down into the couch.

"Well I'm sure it's not half as bad as Brooke is feeling right now" Haley responded refusing to feel any sympathy for the woman sitting in front of her. After all, it wasn't Rachel that was going to have to pick up the pieces. Brooke was no doubt crushed and as for Lucas, she couldn't even begin to imagine how he would react.

"What's going on?" Nathan asked standing in the door frame. He had just started to read James his story when he had heard the raised voices. He had tried to ignore it but curiosity had gotten the better of him and he had told his son he would finish the story the next night instead.

"Ask her" Haley sighed not sure what to do with the redhead anymore. Part of her just wanted to strangle her but now was not the time for that. Right now she had to focus on Brooke and Lucas, two of her closest friends, one of which was probably already in pieces and the other which was soon to follow in the same direction. "I guess I'll go call Lucas" Haley said making a swift exit and leaving her husband with the redhead.

"You're wife doesn't like me very much does she?"

"No" Nathan answered bluntly.

"You like me though right?"

"Rachel what is this? What are you doing in our house?" Nathan asked not having a clue what was going on but picking up on the obvious tension he had felt between the redhead and his wife.

"I did something today" Rachel began as she fought the urge to lie, run, hide, anything to get away from this mess she had caused.

"And…"

"I told Brooke about the book" She paused briefly before continuing, "And I know I shouldn't have but you have to believe when I say it was an accident" The redhead waited. For something, a look maybe or perhaps the odd word or two, anything would do. But she got something she didn't expect.

_Silence_

"Aren't you going to say something? Aren't you angry? Aren't you going to tell me how stupid I am?"

"I'm not angry" Nathan stated plainly as he looked up at the redhead. It was as their eyes met that he saw something, something he didn't expect to see.

_Fear_

She was genuinely concerned about Brooke, and he knew at that moment that the redhead had never meant to hurt anyone, she had never meant to tell Brooke, that much was obvious. The guilt was clearly eating the girl up. How could he possibly feel anger towards her? The only person he was angry at right now was Lucas, he had told his brother countless times it would all end in tears, that he should tell Brooke the truth, let her hear it from him rather than some stranger on the street, but his brother had been a coward. Decided to take the easy way out, and now he was suffering the consequences, and unfortunately so was Brooke.

"You're wife sure was" Rachel muttered.

"Well maybe it was good for the truth to finally come out. No more secrets, no more lies, no more walking on eggshells, scared you might say something you shouldn't." Nathan took a seat opposite the redhead.

"So what? You're happy?" Rachel asked clearly taken aback his reaction.

"_Happy_? You are joking right?" Nathan asked clearly amused by her question.

"But you said-" Rachel began but was quickly cut off.

"What I said was that I wasn't angry, and that I was glad the truth was finally out. But right now Rachel one of my oldest friends, and your friend too, is probably in pieces, so no Rachel I'm not happy."

"Lucas is on his way over" Haley said as she re-entered the room, clearly unaware of the conversation her husband had just had with the redhead.

"What did you tell him?" Rachel asked her eyes firmly on the blonde.

"You know you are something else. Here we are worried sick about Brooke and all you care about is yourself and what other people think of you" Haley said rolling her eyes at the sheer audacity of the girl sitting on her couch. Did that girl care about no one other than herself? "And to answer your question I didn't tell him anything." Haley added.

"You_didn't?_" Rachel asked rather confused as to why the blonde would protect her. But then she caught Haley's smile and she knew whatever the blonde was about to say, it wouldn't be good.

"No. You can explain to Lucas why the love of his life is currently missing and why his relationship with her may be over but it's even begun. I'm sure he would much rather hear it from you after all" Haley smiled sweetly and made her way over to the cabinet to get a glass and pour herself a drink.

The night had only just begun.

* * *

**So that's it. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for an update. Please review. And once again have a great Christmas.**

** x x x**


	26. It Is What It Is

**Big thanks to Jenna, you care such a massive help. And thank you everyone for the lovely reviews, I hope you keep them coming :) **

* * *

"Is she here?" Lucas, out of breath and in an obvious panic asked before Haley was able to open the door completely. He had only run from Haley's car, which she had lent him earlier in the day since Brooke had his, to the door. He needed to see her, he needed to talk to her. He had been thinking about what he would say to her all day, the words now circling his head. As he had pulled up he had seen the car. He was desperate.

_She was there_

"You better come in…" Haley sighed avoiding the question.

He knew something was wrong instantly. His best friend avoided eye contact and walked on, signalling for him to follow. And he did, right into the main room.

His eyes travelled from his brother to the redhead who was seated opposite him. Neither smiled nor greeted him. His brother looked serious, deep in thought whereas Rachel looked somewhat on edge, possibly a little scared, both refused to glance up and meet his eyes. He scanned the room once more almost hoping that the brunette was in the room but he knew he would have seen her straight away if she was.

Haley wrapped her arm around her best friend's waist and led him to the couch where his brother was seated. She sat down on the couch and patted the spot between her husband and herself. Lucas eyes went from one to the other but neither said a word, reluctantly taking a seat.

He hadn't thought anything of the redhead's presence in his brother's house, but now as he was facing the girl he couldn't help but wonder why she was here. Haley couldn't stand her and Nathan didn't really care for her either way. This just led him to question further why she was here.

No one had spoken since Lucas had entered the room. Not one of them wanted to break the news to him. They knew they had to, they just didn't want to.

"Guys what's going on and why is my car, which I lent Brooke, outside?" He asked deciding to break the rather uncomfortable silence. Haley immediately tensed up beside him and he knew something had happened. Haley was fine earlier, at least he thought she was. Maybe something had happened between her and Nathan, but then why was Rachel there? What did she have to do with it? Nathan hadn't done something stupid had he? All these thoughts raced through his mind as he tried putting the pieces together, not realizing how far off base he truly was.

Haley lifted her head and looked at the redhead. Rachel sighed as she knew her time had just about run out. She had never seen a grown man break down, but she had a terrible feeling she was just about to.

"Lucas I just want you to know how sorry I am." Rachel began, making sure Lucas knew how sorry she was. She knew however it would be of little consolation to him once she had revealed the full extent of the situation.

"Rachel I have no idea what you are talking about…" Why would Rachel be apologizing to him. He hadn't had much contact with her over the years.

"Right. Of course you don't. Ok I am just going to do this quick and fast like ripping of a band aid" Rachel rambled.

"Brooke's got your book" The redhead blurted out.

Haley edged closer feeling that her best friend was going to need her, now more than ever. She once more wrapped an arm around him, this time around his shoulders.

"It doesn't mean she read it though right? I mean she probably would rather get her nails done than read some boring book." Lucas muttered and looked around the room for some reassurance.

"Lucas" Haley said softly resting her spare hand on his left knee. It was at that moment that he realised it really was over. She knew.

He didn't want to cry but God knew he felt like it. He was trying to hold himself together, hoping that it wasn't as bad as he thought. But deep down he knew it was bad, and not like a bad haircut kind of bad, but heart shatteringly bad.

"How is she?" He asked. His voice shaking a little as he spoke.

Rachel realised it was her turn to speak. "Not good. She read a few chapters and then stormed out. I tried chasing her but she didn't want to hear it. She just walked away"

"I don't understand. What about the car?"

"She gave me these and told me to give them back to you" Rachel answered pulling the keys from her pocket.

"Did she say where she was going?" Frantically asking yet another question. To say he wasn't worried would be a lie. This was no longer about him, this was about Brooke, the girl he loved. And right now he had no idea where she was, how she was, what she was doing, what she was thinking. He knew nothing. Everything had just gone so very wrong. He hadn't expected her to take the news well but he was in no way prepared for this. The guilt and the worry that he was feeling at that moment was eating away at him, bit by bit.

"She didn't say, I don't think she knew herself." Rachel replied honestly. Usually she would try to look on the bright side but right now there didn't seem to be one and even making a little joke to lighten the mood seemed inappropriate given the circumstances.

"Great. This is just great. So does no one know where she is?" Lucas asked in desperation, a slight edge of anger appearing in his voice as well, as he rose from his seat and turned to face his brother and best friend. Both shook their heads. Lucas sighed heavily in frustration. He felt so helpless. He just wanted to make everything ok again, but it was proving more difficult than first thought.

"I think I should go." Rachel stated as she rose to her feet.

"Yeah that's right now that the damage is done you run away. If it weren't for you none of this would be happening. When are you going to grow up and accept some responsibility?" Haley said jumping to her feet and blocking the redhead's path as she refused to let her just walk out.

"Hales leave it" Lucas interrupted as he stepped between the two women. The last thing he needed was a catfight on his hands.

"No. She can't keep doing this. And when the going gets tough Rachel gets going." Haley quipped.

"It's not her fault." Lucas's stern voice sounded, determined to stop it before it went any further. Haley wasn't usually like this, Lucas knew that, it was just something about Rachel that got right under Haley's skin and put her on the defensive where the redhead was concerned. Of course Lucas also knew that now was not the time for petty arguments, and although Rachel may have been at fault he couldn't put all the blame on Rachel, and neither could Haley. The blame lied with one person and one person alone, and that was him.

"It's not?"

"I should have told Brooke, I should have told her a long time ago. I knew there was a risk she would find out from someone else and now she has. Maybe if I had told her, things would have been different. The only person I have to blame is myself"

Nathan pulled himself to his feet and walking over to his brother. Lucas waited for some sarcastic comment, or an 'I told you so', he wouldn't even have been surprised if his brother had smiled.

But he didn't.

Instead Nathan stood side by side with his brother and patted him on the back, just to let him know that he was there for him. Lucas turned his head slightly to face his brother, clearly shocked by his brother's support. Nathan gave a little nod of the head and Lucas smiled weakly in return.

"Do you think she would go back to the apartment?" Haley asked breaking up the little moment the two brothers were having.

"She might. I mean all her stuff is there." Lucas answered with renewed optimism. Maybe there was still time. Maybe it wasn't as over as he had thought.

"Couldn't she just buy new things?" Nathan asked. He didn't want to be negative but someone had to be realistic. He didn't want to see his brother build up his hope and then watch them crash and burn.

"Brooke wouldn't leave her clothes and especially not her shoes. She may be upset but she's not crazy. Some of her dresses are one of a kind, there is no way she would leave them." Rachel insisted. Maybe she hadn't seen Brooke for a while but living with her for such a long period of time in New York and briefly in Tree Hill Rachel had come to understand the brunette pretty well.

"Rachel you have the keys right?" Lucas held out his hand signally for the redhead to hand them over.

"Yeah" She opened her hand revealing the keys and then closed her hand hiding the keys once more

"Can I have them? It's rather urgent." Lucas pleaded not wanted to waste anymore time than he already had.

"Sure… but I'm coming with you" Rachel said as she marched past them and headed for the door

"Lucas you can take mine" Haley offered, her arm catching him before he had the chance to follow the redhead.

"No it's ok. Some company would be nice" Lucas smiled weakly. Haley let go and he headed to the car where the redhead was waiting.

"Aren't you sitting in the wrong seat?" He asked as he climbed in, Rachel had clearly decided she was driving, the engine was already started and the second he closed his door he could feel her foot slam down on the accelerator.

"No. I mean you can drive if you want but by the time you get there she'll probably be gone."

"Just try not to get us killed"

------------

"Do you think she'll be there?" Nathan asked as the door slammed shut.

"I hope so Nathan. I really do."

"You don't think she would go back to New York without saying goodbye to everyone do you?" He knew they had all thought about it, just that no one could bring themselves to mention the possibility in front of Lucas.

"Maybe. I mean Rachel said she was upset, so who knows what's going on inside her head right now."

"I'm not saying I'm ok with what Lucas is done. But I think he is going to need us Hales, both of us."

"You want to help Lucas?" Haley queried. The two brothers seemed to have been at each other's throats ever since the release of the book. She had tried and tried to bridge the gap between them but over the last few months it seemed the rift had only widened.

"That's what I just said isn't it" Nathan smiled knowing how much this would mean to her. He wasn't going to pretend that he agreed with Lucas's actions but whether he liked it or not Lucas was his brother and seeing him tonight he had actually felt sorry for him, and felt the need to be a brother to him once again.

"Thank you"

"Brooke!" Lucas called out as he ran into his apartment leaving Rachel far behind as he had jumped out the car before she even had the chance to turn off the engine. He burst his way into his room, or what had been her room since she had arrived.

All the items which has previously been scattered across the floor and on the nightstand were now gone. The closet doors hung open revealing their now empty state. He sunk down against the wall as the reality of the situation finally began to sink in._He'd lost her_.

Rachel came running through the door. Her eyes scanning the room and falling on the blonde haired blue-eyed boy. Her heart truly broke as she saw a few tears begin to trickle down his cheeks. She knew Lucas didn't blame her but she did. This was _her_ fault.

She didn't know what to say, it was her mouth that had got them into this situation to begin with. She knelt down beside him, put her arm around him and let him lean on her shoulder as the tears continued to fall.

_I'm bringing sexy back_

Rachel's head shot up as she realised the music that was playing was that of her ringtone.

_Number Unavailable_

"Great" Rachel muttered and let her cell fall to the floor.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked. The sound of Justin Timberlake bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Number Unavailable. I mean is it so hard for people to show their numbers?" Rachel answered clearly annoyed.

"You should answer it. It might be important" Lucas replied, either way just wanting the sound of Rachel's cell to stop.

The redhead rolled her eyes and clicked the answer button. "Hello" Rachel's voice spoke. It was clear she was in no mood to talk and if the caller had any sense they would hang on before she did on them.

_Silence._

She was just about to hang up when the caller spoke.

"Rachel it's me."

Rachel's eyes bulged open as the identity of the person on the other end of the phone was revealed. "Brooke where are you?" Rachel immediately asked, a rush of relief running now running through her.

"I just called to let you know that I'm fine and to tell everyone not to bother trying to call me. It is what it is." The brunette's cold voice informed her.

Rachel knew what was coming next. "Don't…" But it was too late. "…hang up." Rachel sighed in frustration and turned to face the now alert Lucas.

"Was that her? What did she say? Did she tell you where she is?"

"She just said she was fine and to tell everyone not to bother calling her." Rachel shook her head in confusion. "I guess you're not the only one she's mad at." She had hoped that by now Brooke would have calmed down somewhat and maybe the anger that she had felt towards her and the others would have lessened but it seemed quite the opposite had happened.

If Brooke was just angry at her and Lucas then at least she would know Brooke had people to turn to, but right now it seemed Brooke had cut all ties with what were meant to be her closest friends and people she could turn to in her hour of need, and in cutting ties with everyone she had also cut all her ties with Tree Hill.


End file.
